


Kisses and Angel Wings

by Annabelleleigh73



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood and gore yuck, F/M, Fluff, Maybe some angst, Reader dies, Reader dies a lot, Warnings but I hate giving away spoilers, i don't write smut, i have made myself sad, just be warned and stuff, ok a lot of angst, this is as close as it gets, would that qualify as a tag? Being sad?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 51,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5952892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabelleleigh73/pseuds/Annabelleleigh73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader discovers Cas likes her...like really really likes her</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is me goofing around lol a little fluff piece where basically I'm seeing if I can imbed images and have some fun with Cas while I do so. :)  
> Not sure where this will go ;)  
> Also I'm not good at writing smut so don't expect too much in the next few chapters

She was sitting a under tree looking at the leaves when she sensed someone was standing beside her.

"Hello, Castiel.", she said primly crossing her ankles not looking at him.

He studied her for a moment before stating, "You are still angry."

"What makes you think that?", she said in a flat voice. "You reading my mind?"

"You are refusing to look at me.", he told her simply, sitting down beside her stretching out his legs, trenchcoat billowed around him.

Y/n stiffened and shifted a tiny bit away from him. Cas glanced at her but didn't move. He looked up at the leaves above them without comment.

When he didn't speak or move for several minutes, she allowed herself to relax slightly.

"Is Dean still mad?", she finally asked still not looking at the angel beside her.

Cas lifted a shoulder, "He will calm down soon."

Y/n snorted and sat in silence. She glanced over, peeking to see his long legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles.

"He was worried about you. He reacted out of fear of losing you.", Cas told her still looking up at the leaves.

Again Y/n snorted looking down to study an ant crawling up her leg and said dismissively, "He's angry because I almost made us botch the job. You heard him. That's all he cares about..the job." She paused and added without bitterness, "and Sam."

"Yes, I heard him. I also know the words he leaves unspoken.", Cas told her, still looking up, the leaves making shadows on his face as they tossed in the slight breeze.

Y/n looked at him then. "You read his mind?", she asked.

Cas looked at her without speaking. Y/n couldn't help but admire how his 5 o'clock accentuated his jaw. She blushed when she caught herself staring as his blue eyes bore into hers. She turned away, embaressed.

Y/n nervously picked at the grass then tossed the bits into the breeze. They scattered over her legs and onto Cas's pants. She flicked the ant from her leg and asked, "What was he thinking?"

Cas sighed brushing the grass from his pants and asked, "Verbatim? Or a summary? Because I'm certain cursing was involved."

Y/n gave a small smile imagining the colorful dialogue Dean could produce, " Summary I guess."

Cas blew out a deep breath, a very human action, before saying in a rush, "That was too close. She almost got killed. How could I let this happen? I almost got her killed. I should have seen it coming. I can't lose her."

She sat in silence, pondering what Cas had told her. Then y/n sat up straight, narrowing her green eyes in suspicion.

"Wait...if you read his mind then you would have known for certain if he cursed. You assumed he had cursed. You didn't read his mind at all...so how is it that you knew what he was thinking? Are you just telling me so I won't be mad at him anymore?", she demanded anger shadowing her tone. She stood up abruptly and started to walk away.

Cas was up before she could take a second breath. He grasped her wrist in a gentle but iron grip.

Y/n looked up at him with a glare as he looked down at her before answering.

"I only assumed it was what he was thinking because I know Dean and..."

She frowned and tried to pull away but he only stood there looking at her not relinquishing his hold.

He spoke in a lower, deeper voice , "And...that is what I was thinking."

Y/n stopped struggling against his grip and looked up at him in shock. His blue eyes seemed to flash while he gazed at her.

Cas continued, "....I don't really know about how he feels when he thinks about something happening to you. I don't know if the only time he feels fear is when he thinks about you getting hurt beyond his ability to help you. Or how the only time he feels jealousy is when he sees you smile at someone else." He pulled her closer practically growling now, "Or the only time he feels joy is when you smile at him; how he only feels desire when he thinks about doing this..." He let go of her wrist to put his arm around her waist as his other hand buried itself in her hair and pulled her head back gently. He dropped his lips to hers. He pulled her close and she couldn't tell if the pounding she heard was her heart or his.

He lifted his head to look at her, she blinked only to find them at the bunker, alone since the boys were about three hundred miles east of there. Y/n gaped in surprise and Cas had the grace to look sheepish.

"It was the only place I could think of where we would be completely alone.", he explained. Y/n was astonished to think that he might feel the same way about her. The boys were always teasing her about her feelings towards him.

Y/n took a deep breath, thought what the heck-go big or,go home, almost giggled because she was actually home and then reached out to begin slowly loosening his tie and unbuttoning his white dress shirt. Cas's arms hung loose by his side, as if he were in a trance, unable to move.

Cas swallowed hard as she slid her hands into his open shirt, lightly dragging her nails across his abdomen causing his muscles to tighten and he spoke in a strained voice, "I thought maybe it would be a good place to talk about...things."

She nodded , "Yes, talk..."and stepping up, pressed her mouth to his exposed chest. The next weren't words only garbled sounds erupting from his throat and his hands shot up and grasped her shoulders. His head fell back while she stood up on tiptoe to kiss the hollow of his neck and then... he was gone.

Dean took a few steps back when Cas appeared suddenly in front of him and Sam.

"I heard you several times, Dean. She's fine.", Castiel told him in clipped monotone.

Dean glared at him and demanded,"Why did it take so long to answer, Cas?"

Cas told him, "We are talking about things."

"What kinds of things?", Sam asked mischievously, having already noted Cas' loosen tie and how he was holding his trenchcoat closed as he stood before them.

Cas slid his eyes over to Sam and eyes widen when he realized that Sam knew exactly what had been happening. "Just things, " he stammered and Sam could swear he was blushing.

"Uh huh," Sam grinned in reply as Dean slowly caught on.

"What is wrong with you, man? You're all twitchy and you're tie is all...", he trailed off and looked at Cas with mouth open. "Son of a b...are you banging Y/n?"

Cas looked at him in shock, "No I am not Dean!"

Dean relaxed just for a moment before Cas continued, " I would never hit her!" Cas took a step back when Dean went at him but Sam restrained him.

Laughing Sam said, "No, Cas. Dean is wondering if you are having sex with Y/n."

Cas straighten up and let the coat fall loose, exposing his unbuttoned shirt , "Oh, well, yes, that is the idea if you would be quiet and quit calling me." He disappeared leaving both Sam and Dean to gape at where he had been standing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda long...hope it's worth the time :p I had fun though ;)

Y/n was standing where he had left her, arms wrapped awkwardly around herself when he reappeared.

"I'm sorry, y/n. Dean was persistent, I needed to take care of it or he wouldn't have left us alone.", he apologized shyly, tugging on his tie, looking at his shoes. He was unsure of how to proceed now that the heat of the moment had been interrupted. Castiel looked up at her with uncertainty.

Y/n looked just as uncertain as he felt. She had her arms self-consciously around her midriff with a look of vulnerability. While he was gone she had a moment of doubt on how he felt towards her. This made him feel protective of her and that feeling embolden him.

Castiel's face changed from uncertainty to something more confident and she stared wide eyed at the intense look he now gave her. She had seen that same intensity before but it had never been directed at her. It was a bit awe inspiring and a bit nerve racking. Y/n couldn't help but take a step back when he came towards her.

Y/n tried to add some levity to the moment by asking, "So, um...do you know what to do...exactly?"

His gaze never wavered when he answered, "Yes, I am aware of human relations. I have had some experience in this."

She swallowed and continued to back up until her legs bumped into her bed, causing her sit down abruptly. While he was slowly coming towards, he had shed his trenchcoat and pulled his tie from around his neck. His tie he tossed onto the bed and he began to unbutton his shirt. Once he was right in front of her, he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders and she watched it as it fell to the ground, unable to keep looking at the intensity of his gaze.

Castiel said her name, low and full of an emotion she had never heard in his voice before. It was usually monotone, holding very little emotion, so this was....different. She swallowed again and continued to stare down at his discarded shirt.

He put one knee on the bed beside her saying, "Y/n, look at me."

Almost reluctantly she forced her eyes away from the shirt to look at him. Y/n gasped when she realized his face was only centimeters from her own. Her heart began to pound in her chest.

Castiel leaned even closer but still didn't touch her, only his breath caressed her face. Y/n's heart felt like it was going to leap out of her chest as leaned his head to her neck, still not touching her. He kept his lips just far enough away that she could only feel the heat of them. He dipped his head down to the crook of her neck and she could feel his breath heat the sensitive skin there and she shivered. She thought she heard him chuckle but she wasn't sure of anything except how she felt at that moment.

Y/n thought she would surely fly apart in the anticipation of his touch. And when he finally pressed his lips to her neck, the groan that fell from her lips startled her with its intensity. She began to shake and she thought it was only his arms wrapped around her that kept her from falling into pieces. Her head fell back as he pressed open mouth kisses along her neck and shoulder.

His previous intimate encounter could not have prepared him for the complete undoing of himself. That had been with someone he was not emotionally attached to, but this... He was losing all control, all thought, except for the woman calling his name beneath him and all he desired was to be as close to her as physically possible.

Without hesitation, he used his power to remove the rest of her clothing, his hands and lips replacing them.

When she wrapped her legs around him, he was unaware and uncaring if he was speaking in coherent English or babbling in Enochian. He was dimly aware he was so very close to letting his true self show. With the last bit of control he had, he grit his teeth and growled,"Close your eyes, Y/n, now!"

As he was poised above her, holding his weight on his forearms,trembling with the last bit of his self-control, y/n thought she saw the flash of his battered onyx wings wrapping down and around them as the lights began flicker. Then, she broke into a thousand pieces as Cas commanded her to close her eyes. When she obeyed, he cried out throwing his head back in abandonment. Eyes shut tight, she sensed a bright burst of light pushing against her eyelids and Cas repeating the same phrase over and over in a voice hoarse with emotion. The burst of light seemed to surround her and lift her up. Cas called out her name and she lifted her head and began to open her eyes, wanting to see his face. He had one coherent thought as he looked down at her, "No!" He cried covering her eyes with his hand, "keep...keep them..." He pressed his forehead against hers while all thought was cast out of his mind, hand clamped down on her eyes and the sound that came from his throat was not intelligible but a roar. Her arms and legs tightened around him, pulling him close as he felt like all the muscles and bones in his body had disappeared.

His cries were echoing in her mind as she lay beneath him in the dark. He lay upon her, breathing heavily against her neck. Y/n could feel her sweat collecting between them as her body cooled beneath his. He never seemed to sweat, she thought, it was a bit unfair. She wrapped her arms around him reluctant to let him go.

Y/n began to trace patterns gently on his back and she could feel him smile against her neck. The random patterns became words and she was slightly startled when he could understand what she was tracing.

"I love you too, Y/fn /y/l/n.", he whispered. Then he lightly traced on her rib cage, a message as well. "I'm not as good at deciphering," she told him after a few times. He just smiled and said softly, "It's Enochian...I'll teach you one day..." She nudged him playfully, "Cheater...", but there was no heat in her voice.

Presently he rolled to her side and pulled her close with him. Cas drew up the blanket as she settled against his chest, breathing him in. Y/n fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake until they heard Dean in the hallway, cursing about the breaker being thrown and the lights not working.

Abashed, she recalled electricity arcing when Cas' black wings unfurled against the over bright glare, right before he covered her eyes. She smiled at the memory as she stretched, yawning before sluggishly swinging her feet off the bed. Cas sat up quickly, being alert, not having gone to sleep. He had enjoyed holding her, feeling her sleep heavy warmth against himself. He already missed it.

Y/n held her hand out in front of her as she took a few steps in the near pitch black room. "Wow, it's really dark," she laughed. Cas smiled and teased, "I can see just fine." Y/n stuck out her tongue not knowing if he really could see her or not. She had only taken a step or two before her feet erupted in pain. She couldn't help but cry out in surprise as it radiated up from the soles of her feet.

Several things happened simultaneously. The lights came on when Sam reset the flipped breaker. Dean, who had been walking the hall with his flashlight, heard Y/n cry out and kicked her bedroom door open. Cas had wrapped his arms around her right after she cried out and was looking down at the blood dripping freely from her feet. Dean not knowing what was happening, drew his gun and began yelling for Y/n.

By reflex at the sight of the gun, Cas's hand shot out, his power hit Dean square in the chest throwing him against the wall as he yelled, "No!"

Sam came running when he heard Y/n cry out, which was followed by Castiel yelling and the thud of Dean's body against the wall. He entered the room, gun and demon knife drawn. Sam skidded to a stop trying to process what he was seeing in the dim light of a small table lamp.

Cas half kneeling on the bed with Y/n behind him protectively, her bleeding feet making a mess of the sheets. He held his angel blade in front of him defensively in one hand, the other hand resting on her hip. His countenance, fierce and dark. Sam wouldn't have been surprised if the angel growled at this point.

Sam averted his eyes because he became aware that both Cas and y/n were naked. What the hell is going on?, he thought. He looked down at Dean, groaning as he pushed himself off of the floor where he had fallen.

Sam glanced back up at the couple, and seeing Y/n's still bleeding feet, he stepped towards the bed. He heard glass crunching under his boots and looking up,he saw that the light fixture had blown out, casting shards onto the floor. That must be how y/n had cut herself. Castiel, still on the defensive, stood up swiftly unfurling his wings causing Sam to stumble back. Dean pulled himself up the wall yelling, "What the hell, Cas?"

Hearing Dean's voice seemed to bring the angel somewhat to his senses as his wings disappeared and the energy that had begun crackling in the air dissipated. He lowered the blade but still held it as he explained, "You startled me."

"Well, you scare the shit out of me!", Dean returned taking a step toward the bed, intending to examine Y/n's feet. When he approached, Cas moved his body between them. Almost apologetically he said, "Don't touch her." Dean continued forward and Cas lifted the blade again. Dean acted as if he had not heard or seen the threat. Sam called his name warningly from the doorway.

Dean reached out and touched Y/n's ankle and was suddenly thrown against the wall again.

"Dean, please don't. I don't want to hurt you.", Cas sounded as if he were almost pleading with Dean. Dean laughed as he clenched his jaw, and being one not to give in got back up and made towards the bed again.

"Dean, I will kill you, if you touch her again," Cas growled as he lowered his head to glare while his eyes began to glow blue. Sam grabbed Dean's arm but didn't need to use his full strength, Dean finally realized Cas was serious. Dean stood still and said stiffly, "She's bleeding pretty bad, Cas."

Cas didn't look back at her, kept both eyes on what he was still considering a threat but reached behind his back and touched her forehead with two fingers. Immediately she stopped hissing in pain and fell back onto the bed in relief.

Cas straighten up again and looked them in the eye. With Y/n blood smeared across his chest and arms, his blade glinting in the light, Sam couldn't help but imagine him as some savage warrior, defending his mate.

Placating, Sam asked, "Do you need help cleaning up this glass, Cas?"

"Thank you, Sam, but no. I am at fault for it, I will clean it up.", he answered formally.

Dean gave him a perplexed look, "How did you throw the breaker and bust out the light?"

Cas didn't answer but turned to drape a blanket over Y/n's nude form, not concerned about his own nudity in the least. He turned back to the two men and stood silently waiting for them to leave.

Dean began muttering as he retreated, "Aw, dude, put some clothes on, you're like one of them dick Cupids." He hid his feelings about the situation behind bravado and complaining.

Once in the hall, Dean was struck by a thought "You think all that was because Cas, um...you know ...with...."he trailed off before exclaiming throwing his hands in the air, "I don't want to think about it! I already need to bleach my eyes..."

Sam just shrugged and said, "Seems a bit dangerous; they might need more protection than a condom next time..."

"Shaddup, Sammy!", echoed down the hall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh...not 100% happy but I like the pictures ;)  
> And yes I know the last picture doesn't really go, he's got clothes on..sigh..we'll have use our imaginations...


	3. Chapter 3

 

Three months after the bunker incident, the three hunters took a job in El Dorado, Arkansas, not far from the Arkansas/Mississppi state line. It had taken her this long to convince Dean she was capable of accompanying them on the field rather than stay behind in the bunker to handle research. Not that she had complained too much; Castiel had begun the habit of dropping in unannounced occasionally. Dean was not impressed with his coming and going and let everyone know by his grousing. Castiel had not complained, it kept her out of danger.

This particular job had been pretty rough. Ghouls were particularly tricky and this was the first time she had ever gone up against them. Before running with the Winchesters, she had worked simple salt and burns, with an occasional witch hunt with Garth. This was completely new. It had scared her shitless to say the least.

The idea of not knowing if a person was ghoul, it was terrifying. Not to mention the fact they ate the dead. That was just plain nasty.

The job had started off pretty low key; they had even accepted the help of the local sheriff's deputy, Tina. She had been cool, rolling pretty well with the idea that the "serial killer" they, as FBI agents, were tracking ate his victims. Y/n had been excited at meeting a girl that wasn't squeamish around dead bodies and wasn't flirting nonstop with the guys. They even liked the same music, for pete's sake.

Yeah, Tina was cool. That was until Y/n discovered she was actually the ghoul. Figures.

Y/n had gotten split up from Sam, who had insisted she stay with him since this was her first encounter with a ghoul. Y/n didn't protest , in the past she would have fussed saying she didn't need a babysitter. The last time she played that card she messed up royally on the job. Dean still had not let her live it down. He, of all people-the King of dumb-ass decisions, bitched about her taking "stupid ass chances" which were going to "get her stupid ass killed" and "don't come crying to me when you're dead, I won't give a rat's ass."

After listening to this tirade, Tina had elected to go in with them, leaving Dean to cover the front of the house. Which was fine with him, he preferred going it alone, where he would only have to "take care of his own damn ass". Y/n tried not to huff like a kid being reamed out by her dad, but it was hard as hell not roll her eyes. Sam finally told Dean it would be fine. Right...and it snows in hell...

So it was, what she had thought at the time, four humans going into the house against one monster. And things went swimmingly for the first bit, but who was she kidding when she thought things would end well. When have they ever?

Y/n had paused at doorway after she realized Tina was no longer behind her. Well, crap. Y/n had offered to take rear but Sam had refused. It put her too far out of his arm's reach. He wanted to be able to physically touch her if things went south. He had even tried to insist that she press a hand on his back so he could easily keep up with her. This time Y/n did fuss at that.

"Well, dang it, Sam. Just hold my hand and call it quits. I might as well just sit this one out.", Y/n snapped. Dean had narrowed his eyes in thought, having already stated his misgivings about her inexperience. "But fine, I'll do it. We need all hands.", she hastily agreed. Dean had reluctantly nodded griping at the fact he couldn't get a hold of Cas. "Don't know why he can't get his feathery ass down here. Been trying all morning. So, yeah...ok. But for god's sake, Y/n, be quiet." This time Y/n did poke out her tongue behind his back, earning a huffed chuckle from Sam and a grin from Tina.

Y/n had glanced behind and when seeing that Tina was no longer there, turned back to see if she could find her quickly. This caused her to miss Sam ducking into another room. He didn't realize neither woman wasn't with him until it was almost too late. It didn't help that Y/n had gradually been decreasing the pressure on his back as they crept through the house. By the time Tina had disappeared, Y/n had dropped her hand all together.

"Tina," y/n whispered as loudly as she could, breaking Dean's command to "keep her damn mouth shut". The first time she whisper yelled there wasn't an answer but by the fifth, she heard a faint reply. Thank goodness she thought, because if Dean had heard her, there would have been hell to pay later.

"Tina...where'd you go?" Y/n breathed quietly in the other woman's ear as they both crouched behind a partly opened door.

"Sorry, Y/n...I thought I had heard something. I got separated. Sorry.", the woman's southern drawl whispered backed.

"S'ok, we better find Sam before he gets pissed or worse Dean finds us alone," Y/n answered getting ready to ease back down the hall. She shifted her machete to her weak hand, flexing the fingers of her right. She had been gripping it too har. Y/n peeked through the crack as she curled her dominant hand into a fist and relaxed it. Maybe she should have listened to Sam about hand strengthening exercises.

Meanwhile, Sam had by now discovered Y/n wasn't there. "Dammit...", he muttered getting ready to backtrack. That's when something caught his eye. The tip of a boot was peeking out of the closet. Torn between looking for Y/n and doing his job caused Sam to pause but he moved towards the closet after a second's hesitation.

Sam silently approached the closet, a feat at odds with his size. Peering into the closet, he discovered the sheriff's deputy, Tina. At least a few hours dead, her throat was ripped out and her abdomen was just a bloody mess.

"Dean!!! It's Tina!", he roared, no attempted at being silent now. He ran out into the hall where he almost slammed into Dean. "It's Tina, Dean.", Sam repeated, Dean scowled then his scowl deepened as he searched behind Sam,"Where's Y/n?"

Sam muttered, "I don't know, we got separated."

"Son of a bitch, I knew we should have left her back. It was too damn dangerous. Dammit...ok...let's do this", Dean got over his emotional outburst quickly and was all business once again.

Y/n froze when she heard Sam yell at Dean. She looked at Tina, confused. "What did he mean, it's you?" Tina stared at her for a moment, then her whole countenance changed.

"Well, I had hoped to pick off the big guys first, get rid of the stronger....savor the weak. Finding you dead would have made them...unpredictable, revengeful...but, oh well. Plans change. We must be flexible mustn't we? ", Tina smiled good naturedly as she grabbed Y/n, slamming her left hand against the wall. Y/n dropped her machete after the second slam, having been caught her off guard.

Y/n at once began yelling for the boys but "Tina" punched her in the face, silencing her for the moment. Her eyes watered and her nose felt a bit off, all stuffy...she didn't realize that the thing had shattered her nose and cracked her sinus cavities. Blood was pouring from her broken nose and down her chin.

"You know, she really did like you, Y/n. Had even hoped to continue your friendship after this "investigation" was over. You reminded her of her sister, Tara, back in Mississippi...", the ghoul told Y/n calmly, in a weirdly kind tone.

Y/n didn't know if the tears that were blinding her were the result of the punch in the face or from what she was hearing but she sought a way to distract it. She searched desperately for another weapon. "Tina" was creeping her out by the way she stroked her bloodied face with the tips of her fingers and then licking y/n's blood off.

The monster pulled y/n arm to her mouth and bit down...teeth tearing flesh and Y/n screamed, blanking out, forgetting about her search for a weapon momentarily. The ghoul punched her again into silence.

"Yes..poor Tina, it seems they had been very close. It was the last name she whispered...well...that could be because it was the last face she saw. You see, if you were to live long enough you'd have discovered that I left a loooong string of bodies between here and Natchez. It's a game I like to play...siblings against siblings. That's the kind of fun I wanted to have with these two hunters, but you kinda got in the way. Silly girl. But I will use you...so don't feel left out.", the monster was too caught up in congratulating herself about her plan, that she didn't realize Y/n had finally had the presence of mind to remember her 9mm in her back holster.

Y/n was thankful it had been her weak arm the bitch had bitten a chunk from. That was the bright side to this craptastic situation; the con was she losing blood pretty fast. Her vision was already trying to go a little grey on the edge. It also didn't help that the glutton was taking another damn bite farther up her arm, close to her shoulder. Y/n couldn't help but scream again when its teeth ripped flesh.

This time Y/n didn't blank out but reached back and pulled the gun while thebthing was distracted by trying to gnaw her stupid arm off. It lifted its head and smiled at Y/n. Y/n fought back panic at the sight of her former new friend's face smeared with her blood and its teeth were red with it. The thing had an almost gentle look on its face as it stroked her cheek. The tears that dripped this time were of sadness over what had been lost.

When it bent down, intent on licking the blood from y/n's face, y/n held the gun to the monster's temple and began firing, screaming as she did so. She emptied the magazine before pushing it off of her. Then she began pounding the barrel into its skull, still screaming.

Dean and Sam had heard her yelling for them and began running in the direction from which it came, calling her name. When Dean heard her first scream, he immediately called Cas.

"Dammit, Cas, she's killing Y/n!", he yelled as his boots pounded down the wood flooring of the hallway. He pushed panic away as he renewed his grip on his machete. Sam berated himself the entire way at having let her get away from him. He added his own plea to Castiel as he followed his brother down the hallway. They heard the gunfire and somehow managed to increased their speed.

Almost as soon as Dean had yelled for the angel, Castiel appeared in the room where Y/n was fighting the ghoul. Castiel grabbed what was left of the monster's head between both his hands and practically vaporized it. Although it was done needlessly, Y/n had already managed to kill it. He let the body fall unheeding to the ground to look at Y/n.

Y/n arm left arm was hanging uselessly by only a few tendons, the rest having been chewed through. Blood was pouring freely from the wound since an artery had been severed. She very close to bleeding out. Y/n stumbled back and fell flat on her ass. She would have laughed at her clumsiness but she was just so tired and her arm hurt. She reached over to rub it but was confused when she only felt a warm flow of water. That was weird, was there a leak in the roof? Cas's face swam into view and he looked so scared.

I wonder why, she thought fuzzily. Then he started yelling at her to stay awake "Shhhh....shhhh. Dean's gonna get pissed...shhhhh" Y/n wasn't really sure if she actually said it out loud, she was so tired. Her eyes slipped closed as Castiel picked her up.

The men entered the room just as Castiel was picking up Y/n, horror on his face at her condition. They panicked, not knowing at the moment if she were dead or alive. There was blood everywhere. It didn't help matters that the usually stoic and laconic angel was frantically holding her damaged arm together, yelling at her not to close her eyes. White light blinded the brothers causing them to throw their hands up to block their faces.

When it faded, they dropped their arms afraid at what they would see. Castiel was sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him. Y/n was cradled in his arms, body draped limply across him. His face was buried in her neck as he held her close. They were both covered in her blood.

 

Dean sank to his knees as Sam slowly walked closer to the still figures. Sam knelt down and whispered, not wanting to invoked his anger, "Cas? I need to check if she's..."

Cas didn't speak but also didn't fight Sam as he reached over to feel y/n's pulse. It was a bit weak but it was getting stronger. His voice was choked when he informed his brother that she was still alive.

Castiel's voice was muffled, "Of course she is, I healed her."

Dean began to get angry, "Which you wouldn't have had to do if you had been here in the first place. What was so damn important that Y/n was almost killed over?"

Cas didn't answer, he only stood up effortlessly, still holding y/n close, but he glared at Dean over her head.

Y/n interrupted before Dean could continue, "I'm really tired, can we postpone the blame throwing and go drink a beer?" Dean compressed his lips in a thin line but he kept silent at her request. They returned to the motel without anymore conversation.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

By the time they returned to the motel, other than the blood on her clothes, y/n didn't feel as if she had almost been eaten alive. Cas had completely healed her. She bounded out of the Impala, exclaiming, "I'm hungry. Who wants pizza?" She either ignored or didn't see Dean's compressed lips nor Castiel's stern expression. Dean held his peace until they reached the privacy of the motel room.

"Y/n...", Dean began, his voice quieter than normal, all bravado put away for the moment. Y/n froze with her back to him, pizza menu in hand. She knew what was coming.

"Y/n...",he started again, voice a bit stronger but still quiet. "This is the second time you acted without thinking."

"If I had stayed with Sam, we might not have gotten it. I was doing the job.", Y/n told him not turning around. Her fingers tightened on the menu, adding creases to its already worn appearance.

"Screw the damn job, Y/n! You almost died. If Cas had not been there, you would have!", Dean's voice was a bit louder this time. "This is becoming a damn habit!"

Y/n turned to face him. "It's called doing my damn job. But if I had, what's the big deal? The job was done. That's the danger of living this life, kill or get killed. You and I both know the risks!"

"But...", Dean interrupted.

"No Dean! What makes what I did any different from what you would have done? How is the fact that my arm was severed from my body any different from you getting shredded by a hell hound? I at least have the luxury of an angel on call, of getting healed. You went to hell. Both are occupational hazards we face.", y/n didn't yell but she was angry. 

"You were reckless," Cas spoke up. Y/n cut her eyes at him, "Don't start." Cas rolled his eyes in frustration, but was silent. Y/n looked back at Dean.

"And if you pull that crap about putting my life at risk with my behavior, you need to look close at some of the decisions you have made in the past and then come back and tell me what to do. Why do I get differential treatment, a pass at risks?" Y/n stepped up until she almost nose to nose with him, that is if he had been shorter or she taller.

Dean didn't speak only stared at her because he knew what she said was true. Sam coughed and spoke up.

"We care for you, Y/n. We just don't want to see you hurt.", he told her.

"Or dead.", Dean muttered still staring at her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and said almost reluctantly, "We love you, dumb ass behavior and all." Sam stared at his brother, opened his mouth and closed it again. He was at a loss at what to say.

Dean squeezed her shoulders and let go,"Alright, enough with the damn soap opera, I need a beer or five." Sam laughed in agreement and began passing out the bottles while Y/n called for a pizza. Castiel silently came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head. Y/n absent-mindedly patted his hands around her waist as she spoke to the restaurant. Dean flicked his eyes over at them but didn't comment.

Soon the other two men became aware he was being more open with his affection for her, not a normal occurrence even during the many visits with her at the bunker. He was normally more reserved in his physical contact with her in their presence. This abnormality was in direct response to her close call earlier that day. They only noticed because they too would give themselves small assurances that she was still truly there. The saying of her name when it really wasn't necessary and a touch to the shoulder or elbow when gaining her attention.

It was close to midnight when Y/n finally stood and stretched, pulling her motel key from her pocket, "Well, boys I'm headed to bed." She had begun getting her own motel room not long after she started hunting with the Winchesters. She tried to share a room once when they had eaten frozen burritos...well if she had thought it was bad in the bunker, close quarters of a motel room was lethal. Not too mention that Dean hogged the covers and Sam didn't leave much room once he sprawled out. A room to herself was the answer.

They tried to get her to stay longer that evening but she declined when she could no longer ignore the pleading ache in Castiel's eyes.

"Aw, come on y/n, one more beer..", Dean had conjoled but she shook her head saying,"Nah, drink mine." She turned throwing her hand up, "'night boys" They mumbled good night in return.

Y/n was barely to the door when she heard Castiel awkwardly declare he was going to bed as well. Dean gave him a bitchface while he stumbled around the couch and over Sam's feet as he tried to go past. She chuckled and rolled her eyes when Dean demanded," Cas, why the hell are you fumbling around like a damn drunk? You don't even sleep, why not just zap your ass wherever it is you need to go?"

"Oh, yes..well. I don't kn...good bye.", he stammered flustered before pushing past Y/n out the door. She shut the door on Dean muttering,"What a weirdo..."

Y/n unlocked her own motel room door and was barely inside before she was being enveloped by Castiel. His actions were frantic and desperate. His lovemaking more an act of proving she was still there rather than an act of passion. Y/n was finally able to calm him down with gentle actions, gentle words and she soon fell asleep exhausted from the events of the day, their legs and arms tangled up with each other and the bedsheets.

The next morning, she woke up to him standing at the window silhouetted by the early sunrise. He lent a lightness to the grey and faded motel room. Castiel was up to watch the dawn since he had not fallen asleep. He did stay with her through the night. He enjoyed these times, when she slept. It was the only time that he knew for certain he could protect her because she sleeping and not taking chances. Doing things that frightened him, to fear her injury or death.

The first time he had stayed with her, he couldn't understand why she had insisted that he couldn't wear his dress pants and shirt to bed.

"It's just strange, not mention uncomfortable, to wake up with a belt buckle crammed against my backside. Other things are preferable.", she waggled her eyebrows suggestively and he canted his head to the side looking at her. "What is wrong with your eyes?", he inquired. "Oh my gosh, Cas. Just wear the pajamas!" So now, he usually wore his white boxer shorts or a pair of sweats she had gotten from a thrift store a few weeks ago. Today, it was neither. She sat on the bed admiring him before standing up to join him.

Quietly she stepped up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. Y/n rested her head against his back, breathing in a sigh. He didn't let her stay there long before he had pulled her to the front of him so he could wrap his own arms around her and rest his chin on the top of her head. His favorite position.

He dipped his head to her neck and nuzzled it whispering, "I almost lost you.."

"But you didn't," she murmured placing her hands over his. He sighed deeply breathing her in. Last night had been mostly him reassuring himself she was still there. Not wanting to let her out of his sight for very long. Touching her arm, holding her hand.

And now as he held her, while they watched the sunrise, she felt a rumbling agaisnt her back. Was he humming?, she thought incredulously. Y/n stood quietly as she tried to place the song. Then even more incredulous, she heard him sing softly, a bit flat but singing nonetheless, in her ear.

"I've been waiting all my life to feel your heart as it's keeping time. We'll do whatever just to stay alive. Dawn is coming open your eyes."**

"You know this song?", she whispered when she finally recognized the song as one on her most often played playlist. He chuckled softly, "Of course; it fits us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song quoted is "Stay Alive" by Jose González. I did mix the lyrics up a bit to fit the story/sentence.  
> Forgive errors, feedback is appreciated! I hope you are enjoying the story ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy little bit about the morning after with Cas, Dean, Sam, and reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know Cas is an angel and can't taste let alone need to eat, but let's pretend, shall we? ;) it's so much fun!

 

Later that morning, Y/n joined the brothers in the small diner near the motel; Cas said he would join her in a bit. They greeted her with raised coffee mugs and Dean motioned to the cup waiting for her.

"You are a dear man", she murmured before she took a long sip. Dean winked as he took a bite of his bacon and Sam grinned over his own cup when she hummed in appreciation. The waitress came by and Dean took the liberty of ordering for her as well as asking for an extra cup for Cas. "I figure the little dork will show up soon enough.", he reasoned.

It wasn't long until Cas did indeed join them. They didn't notice him at first since he had discarded his usual attire. He was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a light blue cambric shirt which he rolled up on his forearms. Y/n saw him first and was taken aback to see him dressed that way; she had bought the outfit several weeks ago but he had been reluctant to wear it. He favored his suit and trenchcoat. Yet, he wore this new outfit well. The waitress seemed to agree since she was busy giving him approving looks. 

 

Said waitress greeted him with a great deal of curosity as he approached the table, the other two guys had already proven to be disinterested but polite. They were obviously focused on the girl with them. The new guy returned an absent hello as the occupants of the table stared at him.

The waitress got ready to bestow on him her most flirtatous greeting when he broken into the most wonderful smile. She actually caught her breath before realizing it was for the table behind her. He slid into the booth beside the girl without once looking at the waitress.

"What's with the new threads, Cas?", Dean asked in an astonished voice. Cas didn't look at Dean but only looked at Y/n who was grinning like a fool. "Y/n bought them, so I am wearing them"

The waitress gave a little cough to let him know she was there. "Hey, Cas...buddy, you need to order.", Sam informed him while Dean just gaped.

Cas didn't look up but only ordered the special. The waitress gave a little huff when Cas reached over to push a strand of hair back behind Y/n's ear. "Dude, what is up with you?", Dean demanded. Cas just shrugged and Y/n giggled when Dean gave the same exact huff that the waitress had given a moment earlier.

Sam chuckled behind the local paper, "Well at least we know where he was last night."

"Wait? What?", Dean exclaimed looking between Y/n and Castiel. Y/n blushed as Cas took her hand and held it. She wasn't use to him being so openly affection.

"You already know we are together, Dean.", Cas reminded him needlessly in his gravely almost monotone voice.

"Well, yeah...", Dean grimaced. Cas continued as if explaining to a child, "We are together...I believe the term is lovers."

"Oh god, don't say that so loudly, it sounds creepy. That's enough, Cas." Dean tried to interrupt, but Cas kept talking ,"We are in a relationship with sexu...."

"Shut up!!!!", Dean snapped as Sam sputtered his coffee and Y/n covered her face with her free hand. Her shoulders shook as she tried to not laugh at Dean's face. The waitress took that moment to bring Cas's food.

"Here ya go hon.", she slid the plate in front of him.

They all eyed the plate suspiciously. "What is this?", Cas asked in horror.

"The day's special. You ordered it sweetie.", she purred, still determined.

"What is the day's special?", Sam asked with arched eyebrow.

"Livermush.", was the reply.

Dean and Y/n made ew faces as Cas asked, "Do I like liver mush?" The waitress shrugged ,"Don't knock it till you try, sweetheart. It's my fav."

Gamely Cas took his fork as the others stared. He took a huge bite. Without expression he swallowed quickly and took a drink of coffee. "Well, sweetie? Did you like it?", the waitress asked flirtatously, leaning her hip against the table.

  
"There are two things of grave importance I must tell you. First, I am not your hon, sweetie or sweetheart. Please do not lay claim to me, by your behavior I am aware you are interested in me that way. I cannot reciprocate. Second, I think this might be spoiled, I can't imagine anyone liking this.", he answered in all earnestness and without malice. He gently pushed the plate away and pointed at Y/n's plate.

"I will have that," he gave the waitress a huge smile oblivious to the shocked looked on her face and the astonished look on Dean's face. The waitress huffed and took the plate.

Dean looked at Cas and said, "What makes you think she was interested in you? She was just being polite."

Cas mumbled around a bite of bacon he had taken off of Y/n's plate,"She has been trying to acertain which one of us would be willing to take her number. She has been overly cordial and is feeling frustrated about the fact that we haven't noticed."

He turned to Y/n, "Is it normal to be this hungry after se..." Y/n shushed him as Dean's face began to turned red. Y/n distracted with the question, "Ok, so what is going on so that you guys are oblivious to what Cas states is obvious flirting on the waitress' part?"

Sam and Dean exchanged looks and gave her an I don't know look. Cas began to mumbled around his second bite of bacon which y/n snatched away exclaiming,"Wait for your own."

He swallowed his bite with a sheepish grin and continued with a shrug," You. We are focused on you." He leaned towards her conspiritally, "She quote, 'thinks you look frumpy and what do they see in her?'" He leaned back in his seat to search the room looking for his own plate. "Obviously, she is jealous but why would we look at anyone else while you are here."

Y/n opened her mouth and then closed it again as Sam blushed and Dean scowled but neither man denied the truth in Cas's statement. Finally Dean just started talking about the next job he and Sam had found.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who actually like liver and various food items with liver as an ingredient, no offense...you may have my share


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little fun on the way...largely at Dean's expense

Dean rapped on Y/n's motel door, "Alright, get your asses in some clothes...we're burning daylight."

Y/n just rolled her eyes but Cas, ever the literal, opened the door informing the man standing outside, "We are not naked Dean, you clearly stated we were leaving in 10 minutes and that's not enough time to adequately give Y/n..."

Dean immediately began speaking over Castiel, "I don't want to hear it! Oh my god...shut up!" He plugged his ears to drown out what the angel was telling him. "Just hurry the hell up!" The red faced man spun on his heels and stomped towards the idling Impala.

Castiel turned to Y/n who was sitting on the edge of the bed, laughing uncontrollably. He looked very confused. "What did I say? Dean is angry, yet you are laughing...I didn't think it was offensive nor humorous."

Y/n stood up wiping the tears from her cheeks, "Oh, you will be the death of me..." She slung her duffle over her shoulder and took his hand. He resisted her pull saying ,"Why would I kill you?"

Y/n's laughter renewed as she tugged him harder out of the motel room. Dean only glared, his green eyes flashing, while Sam gave a confused smile. Y/n laughed even harder at the similarity between the expression on Sam's face and Castiel's confused politeness.

Getting in the Implala, Cas observed, "I believe Y/n is unstable." Causing Y/n to howl in laughter anew. Dean just grumbled, "All women, Cas, all women. Just remember that.." Y/n would have called him on the sexist comment but she was laughing too hard.

When she finally settled down, she asked Dean about the potential job he had found. Her giggles almost renewed when she discovered that Cas was trying to discreetly check her temperature and pulse. "Cas! I'm fine!", she muttered softly the second time she felt his fingers on her pulse point.

Castiel grinned slightly at her and leaning over brushed his lips agaisnt the pulse point on her neck. "I disagree, Y/n...I detect a rise in your heart rate and temperature." Her cheeks flamed when the hand on her wrist drifted to her waist and his thumb stroked her hip through the thin cotton of her shirt. Oh my goodness, was he flirting?

"Yes, definitely a rise in temperature but it seems your heart rate has become erratic.", he murmured when his lips brushed the shell of her ear, his warm breath against her cheek. She squeaked when his hand casually cupped her left breast, thumb brushing lightly across her nipple.

This was all hidden from Dean's view by Cas's turned body but he could see Y/n's expression. He immediately slammed on the brakes.

"Oh, hell no! Not in my car! Not in Baby!", he exclaimed turning around in his seat to glare at Cas.

By this time, Cas had turned back around, placidly looking out the passenger window, hands resting languidly on his knees. Y/n had schooled her facial features but had her arms crossed suspiciously across her chest. She arched her eyebrow at Dean's indignant face. Sam was looking from Y/n to Dean in confusion, not having seen what Dean had witnessed.

"Just keep your hands to yourself, flyboy or zap off BUT leave Y/n here. We need her for the job.", Dean snapped, eyes focused on Cas. Castiel slid his eyes from the scenery out the window to Dean's irate face.

"Of course, Dean. I have no wish to offend you.", Cas said smoothly. Dean huffed and looked back at the road ahead. Therefore he didn't see Cas cut his eyes at Y/n with what looked almost like a smirk nor did he see Cas's hand slid across the leather seat.

Castiel flipped his hand palm up and flexed his fingers, giving them a little wiggle. Y/n had already lowered her arms, so Dean didn't notice when she reached out to take Cas's hand in hers at his silent request. Cas entwined his fingers with hers and other than gently stroke her hand with his thumb, he didn't move. He just looked expressionlessly out the side window.

Y/n sighed contentedly at which Dean snapped his eyes at her but only seeing her gazing out her own window, grunted and turned his attention back to driving. Cas and Y/n rode this way for several hundred miles until Dean stopped at a dumpy gas station for gas and a stretch of the legs.

With his usual charm, Dean announced, "If you gotta take a leak, get to it. We ain't stopping again until we get there." Y/n wrinkled her nose at him and he just flapped his hand at her to hurry her up.

"Get going, I'm not waiting. Five minutes!", Dean prodded her as he started pumping the gas.

Cas had gotten out as well but wandered off to look at something spray painted on the side of the convenience store, therefore Dean wasn't paying attention to him. Consequently he didn't see Castiel vanish.

He reappeared in the women's restroom located in the back of the small gas station. Cas stifled her yelp of surprise with his mouth. The small restroom did not have air conditioning and she was soon perspiring at their closeness.

"What do you think you are doing?", she murmured in his ear when he quit kissing her to move his lips to her neck. She carded her fingers through his dark hair as he hummed in approval against her damp skin.

"You heard him, no stopping until we get there and no touching in the car...so we gotta do it now.", he muttered lifting up her shirt. He knelt down in front of her, seemly oblivious to the fact it was a public restroom floor. She giggled when his nose nudged her stomach before he kissed her belly button.

"Quit..that tickles", she whispered pushing at his head, he only grinned and did it again.

"Quit it! And get up, that floor is nasty!", she hissed tugging on his hair trying to get him up off his knees.

"I like your giggle," he protested but he quit only to stand up to completely remove her shirt. Her eyes grew wide as he also pushed down her jeans.

"Cas! We only have five minutes!", she gasped agaisnt his neck as he held her up against him.

"Then we better make them count," he growled, kissing her neck tasting the slight saltiness of her skin. She didn't protest anymore.

It was actually ten minutes before Y/n rejoined the brothers in the Impala. Cas had returned a few minutes before her, coming from the opposite direction of the gas station. He had climbed in silently, looking out the window watching for Y/n. When Y/n climbed, nothing was out of place, almost too neat, her face was flushed and she had a silly grin on her face. Castiel couldn't help but return the grin.

Dean narrowed his eyes when he saw her. He didn't say anything but he glared as he looked back and forth between the two occupants of the backseat. Sam began laughing when he realized what was bothering Dean. His long brown hair fell into his eyes as he laughed. He pushed it off his face when he finally was able to speak.

"Well, it wasn't in the car," he wheezed at the indignant look on Dean's face.

"Laugh it up, hairball....", but that was all he said about it. Yet every so often y/n would catch him glaring at them from the front the seat.

Finally he couldn't keep quiet, "It was a public restroom for crap sake, Y/n! Do you know how much nasty ass stuff goes on in those places?!"

Y/n rolled her eyes as Sam snickered beside him.

"Shut up, Sam. I'm serious....those places are filthy.", Dean persisted. "All kinds of crap..."

Cas turned anxious eyes at Y/n who in turned retorted, "Did it ever stop you?"

Dean was very indignant, "I have never once had sex in a public restroom, " he quelled Sam's outburst of laughter, "Unlike everyone else in this car!" Sam looked a bit guilty at that, having participated in who knows how many restroom jaunts when he was without his soul.

Y/n didn't flinch but snapped, "Yeah, but you can't say that about the car!"

"Wait? What? I am the only one who has sex in Baby!", he declared as Y/n smirked. Sam frowned, "That sounded really wrong,"

"Shut up, Sam! What are you talking about, Y/n."? Dean demanded. Y/n shrugged and looked out the window while Cas looked slightly mortified at the seat beneath him.

Dean turned his attention to Sam who also shrugged, "I thought the car was mine while you were gone..."

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred?!", he yelled pounding the steering wheel as Y/n silently chuckled.

"Well, yes, Dean..there's.." Castiel began.

"Shut up, Cas!", Dean roared. Cas shut up and it was quiet for the rest of the trip, except for the occasional giggle from y/n and replying chuckle from Sam. Cas, confused at their exchange just smiled awkwardly as Dean glared at him in the mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I agree with Dean, though...public restrooms are nasty and honestly even with someone who could instantly "degrossify" them like Cas could...I don't think I would participate in extra curricular activities in them. It's bad enough if forced to use them for their intended purposes...ugh...even then sometimes hiding in the woods might even be preferable? I digress....  
> Hope this one was fun, even though now I'm second guessing the whole encounter in the restroom...
> 
> And yes that's Cas and Meg-it fit (I prefer the pic of them kissing over April!)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless ;)

Y/n woke up bleary eyed and slightly confused. There was a heavy weight pressing down on her hip and her legs were tangled up with something. Scratch that, someone. She peered sleep drunk at the form beside her and was momentarily surprised to see Sam nestled up against her. Her surprise faded when she remembered why she was sleeping beside him.

A glance at the clock revealed it was still early so she shrugged and shifted a little closer to the large man beside her. Y/n had discovered earlier that the a/c was broken, stuck on frigid and that Sam was a still a blanket hog. She took advantage of his closeness to get warm since he had wrapped himself in most of the covers. Y/n woke up a little more when she heard a soft cough behind her.

Looking over her shoulder she saw Cas standing near her side of the bed. "Hey, Cas...", she whispered sleepily. "Hello, Y/n," he whispered back formally. She smiled at his prim tone. She was about to ask how he was but her teeth began to chatter because of the broken air conditioner. "You're cold," he stated and immediately he crawled up behind her and pressed himself against her back; he spooned her while draping the edge of his trench coat over her. Sighing happily, she leaned against him and finally getting warm she fell back to sleep. Castiel slid his arms around her and press closer against her before closing his own eyes in faux sleep.

 

 

That was is until Dean woke up yelling, "What in the hell is going on?!" He stood looking absolutely scandalized at the foot of the bed, bare chested and barefoot. Sam jerked awake, gun in hand, demanding, "What? What is it, Dean?!"

Dean gave him a bitchface and thrust his hand at the bed beside Sam. Sam glanced over and seeing an equally startled awake Y/n and a confused Castiel, fell back onto his pillow with a groan.

"Is that all?", he muttered putting the safety back on his gun before placing it on the bedside table.

"Is that all?", Dean repeated in a quiet voice but it got louder when he repeated again, "Is that all?! You have practically participated in a damn ménage à trios, Sam!"

Castiel didn't look at Dean but mumbled into Y/n's hair, "He must be jealous."

Dean gaped and sputtered at the suggestion. Y/n couldn't help but laugh helplessly at the idea not to mention how scandalized Dean looked.

 

Sam laughed until he couldn't breath, "When did you become such a grandma?"

 Castiel lifted his head and said very seriously, "Don't you mean grandpa, Sam? Since he is male?"

That sent Y/n and Sam into another round of laughter causing Dean to explode.

"That's it! I'm going to breakfast, get your own damn food!", he yelled slamming the door behind him.

"Don't forget your shirt.", Y/n yelled.

"I need my damn shirt, " he came back muttering before storming out again.

"And your boots!", Sam yelled this time.

Dean stormed back and no one dared to speak at the murderous look on his face. "Not. Another. Damn. Word.", he hissed before slamming the door.

"Do you think he wants his wallet?", Cas asked dubiously staring at the offending square of leather. "I think he would sooner shoot us than come back in here," Sam chuckled getting up. "We'll take it to him when we go for breakfast," y/n told him after reassuring him that Dean wasn't going to shoot them. At least she hoped not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really shouldn't pick on Dean...but he's so cute when he's angry. Scary but cute...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit longer..I hope it makes up for the shorter one earlier   
> And who can resist pics of the boys as FBI agents?   
> I hope you have fun reading it!

Once Dean had settled down, they gathered outside the local sheriff's department, the brothers and Y/n dressed as FBI agents. Cas was curiously MIA again.

"Where's your feathery shadow?", Dean teased, cooled off enough to comment about Cas without going nuclear. Y/n stuck her tongue out, glad he was no longer upset, and brought the attention back to the case. She was ready to get out of these pantyhose and heels. As adrogynous her normal outfit for hunting was, it was more comfortable than this getup.

"Okay, so Margie Thompson has been missing since February 13 of this year. What makes her disappearance so special?", Y/n questioned "People go missing all the time."

"That's true, except someone has gone missing from this town once every month since last October.", Sam informed her, handing her several file folders.

Y/n flipped through them with a frown. "So, if five people have gone missing each month since the fall of last year, why hasn't the real FBI been on the case? Can't they see the pattern?"

"Margie Thompson is the first one from around here. The others have all been from out of town, passing through. So no one really thought about a pattern," Sam explained.

"Yet, if it keeps happening the authorities will catch on, right?", Y/n continued.

"Yeah, maybe. But after what, three more abductions? Six?", Dean interjected.

Y/n shrugged and handed the folders back to Sam. "So what's the connections? Why were all the victims even coming through here?"

"Ah, some touristy crap they went off the main highway to see. There's suppose to be the world's largest ball of twine or pile of shit around here somewhere.", Dean muttered.

Y/n perked up, "Really?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Man, what is it with you and your fascination with all things kitschy? We'd never get anywhere if I gave in to you every time we passed someplace."

Sam chuckled, "But you do stop, Dean. Every time."

Y/n grabbed Dean's hand as they walked towards the sheriff's department swinging it as she said in sing song, "Because you liiii-ke me...you really liiiike me"

Dean snatched his hand from hers, "Dammit, Y/n, we're suppose to be agents not frickin' nine years old", but he just barely hid the grin from his face as she said softer behind him, "You liiiike me..." He flapped his hand behind him to shut her up and all three schooled their features to look expressionless and bland.

The sheriff was willing to help especially since there had not been a trace of the young girl. The Feds had actually stepped in when it was thought that it might have been a kidnapping but soon ruled that out. Evidence had seemed to point to run away.

"It just doesn't make sense, though fellas, ma'am, " he nodded at Y/n including her in the conversation. "Margie was a straight A student, involved in all sorts of school activities. Even though the Feds ruled it as a runaway, I just don't believe it."

Y/n was listening to the conversation but the underwire in her good bra had decided to be uncooperative. It was poking her right in the side of her boob. She began to roll her shoulders slightly to see if she could get it to cooperate. Dean shot a look at her. She gave a small smile and he looked back at the sheriff.

Sam questioned, "But they found a letter, a hit from the bus station on her credit card, video footage of her getting on a bus."

Damn, this stupid bra. She made a pretense of scratching her upper arm to sneak a quick adjustment. This time Sam quelled her still with a look. Aw, carp she had only made it worse.

"Yeah, but that's the weird thing. Why didn't we see find them? We looked in all the same places...I can't believe my guys are that inept, even without the expertise of the high and mighty FBI. Sorry, no offense. It's just a frustrating situation. She was a good kid.", the sheriff muttered looking disturbed.

Y/n started fidgeting and Sam placed a heavy hand in her knee as Dean cough to deflect attention from it. Dean nudged her with his foot.

Sam nodded and murmured, "We will do what we can, sheriff. Thank you for your cooperation."

The three faux agents stood up and left with the sheriff's promise of help in whatever they needed. They stood for a moment on the steps.

"Well, I don't credit it as imcompence on the local law enforcement. As po dunk this place is, no one struck me as a Barney Fife. And what the hell was that side show, Y/n?"

Y/n glared and reached into her shirt behind the shield of the two larger men. "It's my bra.", she hissed.

Sam sighed, "No. Their own files indicated that they had done exactly what the Feds did three days later when it was thought to be an abduction. Something doesn't fit."

"Yeah, like Y/n's bra. Would you stop? Unless you want me to help?", Dean raised his eyebrows teasingly and she shoved at him playfully once she had fixed her shirt.

Y/n joined in, "Well, right now we have a connection with the victims. I guess we ought to check it out." Her enthusiasm about the tourist sight was dampened at the thought of it being a sight for a serial kidnapper or worse.

"Ok, Sammy. Y/n and I will check out this tourist crap and you see what you can dig up in research.", Dean said briskly leading Y/n to the Impala. Sam threw up a hand in farewell as they left. He began walking back to the motel.

Sam was startled out of his musings on the case by the sudden appearance of Castiel.

"I'm sorry, Sam," the angel apologized to the man after Sam almost pulled his knife on him.

"Y/n is with Dean, going out to the tourist spot.", Sam told him as they continued to the motel.

"I know. I decided Dean might not want to see me right now," Cas gave a small smile. "He seemed a bit upset earlier."

Sam agreed, "Yeah, but he'll get over it." Cas continued to walk with Sam towards the motel.

"So where've you been, Cas?", Sam asked curiously.

Cas hunched his shoulders and looked very much like a confused human for a moment instead of something other worldly.

"Something is off about this place, Sam.", he muttered looking around.

Sam huffed a chuckle, "Yeah, that's why we're here, Cas."

Cas sighed as he nodded but continued looking around with an almost paranoid look. It was beginning to put Sam on edge and he was about to suggest screw Dean, go find Y/n, and calm down.

Just as he was about to say something, he got a text from Y/n. It was a picture of a fountain, that was odd. He was showing the picture to Cas, when he received frantic call from Dean.

 

It didn't take Dean and y/n long to get to the tourist spot. It was close enough to downtown, they could have walked easily from the sheriff's department.

Y/n was a little disappointed, it wasn't kitschy at all. It was actually quite nice. A marble fountain with an angel statue on top surrounded by four fat cherubs. She stood looking at it while Dean searched the surrounding area for anything that seemed out of place.

"I'm going to send Sam a photo. See if he can get something about this fountain. There isn't a sign or anything indicating why it's here. As nice as it is, I can't imagine out of town folks flocking here just to see this.", Y/n told him. Dean grunted in agreement as he continued to poke around.

Y/n studied the fountain. It was a recent addition to the town's local public garden but had been made to look older. Faux tarnish and oxidation of the materials used gave it an appearance of age. It looked familiar but she shrugged. Once you've seen one cherub spitting water you've seen them all.

Y/n took the photo and began looking around herself. There wasn't anything that suggested nefarious let alone supernatural activity; except for its somewhat isolated location, there wasn't anything weird.

"It's not far from town, but pretty isolated, with the surrounding trees and high stone gate. I can see it being a good place to take someone.", Y/n told Dean. She was about to say something else, except she was distracted by a sharp pain in her left shoulder as she heard a sharp popping sound behind her.

"What the hell?", she muttered reaching up to rub the sore spot. She was confused when she pulled her hand back and it was red with blood.

"Dean?", was all she was able to say before she felt another sting, this time closer to the center of her chest.

Dean had circled the perimeter of the tourist spot twice and still couldn't see anything that stood out as unusual. He was looking through the tree line studying the closest neighboring house when he heard a familiar sound. Hand on his gun he began turning towards Y/n about to comment how odd it was to hear a gun shot within city limits, let's check it out, when he heard it again.

Although it wasn't every loud, Dean heard her sigh his name and turned completely around, only to see a rose of bright red bloom on her chest; he realized the sound he had heard once before had indeed been a gun discharging.

"Oh, shit...Y/n", Dean rushed to her as she crumpled to the ground. He lifted her up trying to call 911 at the same time. "Come on, Y/n, stay with me! Son of a bitch, Y/n!" He pressed one hand to her chest while trying to dial one handed.

It didn't take long for the EMTs to reach the site, the emergency dispatch being right beside the sheriff's office. They found Dean sitting unusually quiet and still, a contrast to the frantic call that had come in moments earlier. They had been prepared to contend with someone potentially combative in his anxiety, which was common when people panicked. Yet, he was just sitting there holding her.

Sam and Cas joined the small crowd that was gathering. Dean had called Sam right after 911. They arrived not long after the EMTs having started running to the site.

Dean looked up at his brother, Y/n's blood on his face, hands.

"She's gone, Sammy.", he murmured expressionless as an emergency technician leaned over towards him.

"Sir, we need to see her.", the EMT told him and Dean released her without a fight.

"She's already gone.", Dean repeated looking at Cas.

Castiel looked at her lifeless body in disbelief before disappearing. He was back within seconds, panic wearing at his edges, coloring his normally monotone voice.

"I can't find her, she's not in heaven. I don't know where she is," he told the brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to throw in a mystery as well...let's see if it's any good ;) more clues later...  
> Forgive any mistakes please :)


	9. Chapter 9

Although to Dean and Sam, Castiel had only seemed gone for a few seconds, in reality he had been gone for hours. The first place he searched was Y/n's heaven, thinking surely she would be there. Yet, her heaven was empty except for the window dressings that made it her exclusive heaven.

His heart twisted in his chest when he stood alone in the quiet front yard of a two story home, picket fence, garden. This was a normal human's life, different from what she experienced daily. He couldn't resist a walk around the side where a garage stood with its doors open, revealing a mechanic's shop. Sitting inside was a black 1967 Impala, hood up waiting for her owner to give a tune-up.

Castiel took a staggering step towards the side entrance of the house, half intending on looking inside. To see if the house held any more evidence of the car's owner. He stopped himself when his hand touched the doorknob. He leaned against the door frame, resting his forehead on the wood. This was not the time to indulge selfish curiosity. He fought the urge to seek and to look in another heaven, fearful that the it might be the exact replica of this one, empty as well since the occupant was still alive. Y/n was not here and he needed to find her.

The other place that he needed to search required assistance. Castiel stood stoically as the neatly dressed King of Hell mocked him for losing his favorite human pet. But, he reassured Castiel that Y/n wasn't there and would never be.

"She's too...perky", he sneered before disappearing, leaving the stench of sulfur in Castiel's nose. His relief was short lived because he was no where closer to finding Y/n. His next move was to search all of earth and all known galaxies. He returned to the brothers defeated.

\------

Dean paced the motel room, still dressed in his bloodied FBI suit but without his tie. That he had tried to use as a tourniquet on Y/n arm but the bullet had gone to far up onto the shoulder. It was now still tangled up around Y/n's arm as she lay on the mortician's table.

"Where were you, Cas?", he muttered running his hands through his hair. This had almost become a mantra since they had returned to the room, with him pacing and gripping his hair in frustration. Some of the blood from his hands had transferred to his hair, causing it to stand up grotesque, painted with her blood. Anger radiated from his body so strongly, it could almost be felt by the other two occupants.

Castiel stood motionless by the door where he had stopped once they had returned and Sam sat dejectedly on the one bed, elbows resting on his knees hands dangling between. His head had fallen forward as if it were too heavy to hold up. He listened to his brother mutter as he paced.

Sam lifted his head slowly and looked at Cas standing silent by the door. He looked old and stooped, as if he had aged years in the past few hours. An impossibility since his presence was what kept his vessel young, immortal.

Cas lifted his hands and let them fall helplessly back to his sides, "I couldn't see her...I couldn't hear you..I couldn't.." Cas seemed to crumple into himself. Ever since he had returned from his search for Y/n, he had been listless.

Dean rounded on him furiously grabbing his coat's lapels, "I screamed for you, Cas, and you never showed! This isn't the first time, either! She is dead because of you!"

Sam jerked to full attention when Dean strode towards Castiel and grabbing his upper arms began shoving him back, yelling, "Where were you, Cas?"

Sam stood up to intervene as Dean began shoving the angel repeatedly into the wall. Castiel just let him, refusing to defend himself, arms hanging loose by his side as Dean screamed in his face.

"Come on, Dean...calm down.", Sam placed his hand cautiously on Dean's shoulder.

Dean knocked his hand off but let go of Cas after one final shove, "I will not calm down, Sam. This is the second time he didn't come when called and this time it was too late!"

"I couldn't see her...I couldn't see..", Cas mumbled.

Dean dismissed his excuse with a muttered bullshit and began pacing again. He ignored his brother asking Castiel what he had meant and mumbled loud enough for the other two to hear, "I gotta get her body. She's needs a hunter's burial."

Sam was startled out of his questioning Castiel by a brisk knocking on the door. Dean turned to face the door, tense, as Sam being the closest, pulled his gun and asked, "Um...yeah? Who is it?"

"It's housekeeping, jackass! Let me in!", a familiar voice snapped through the thin wood.

Sam jerked the door open to reveal Y/n standing there in her ruined FBI outfit and a stolen overcoat.

After subjecting her to silver, holy water and multitude of other tests, they just stood staring at each. That had even examined her wound sites, only to find nothing. Not a scar, not even a bruise. The silence grew heavy until Castiel pulled her into his arms, murmuring agaisnt her hair, "I'm so sorry...I couldn't find you. I couldn't find you."

Y/n murmured, "I don't know where I was...I remember Dean screaming my name, I remember the pain and then I wasn't there...I was...I don't know." She sighed and then muttered, "Now my good bra is ruined!"

Dean pulled her roughly out of Castiel's arms and embraced her, "Who gives a good god damn about your stupid ass bra...you died..I was holding you...you died in my arms. Oh, baby....I'm sorry...I couldn't stop the bleeding...you..." His voice faded as he held her tight.

Y/n wrapped her arms around Dean and pressed her face into his chest, breathing in the cheap motel soap doing a sorry job of masking the tang of his fear mingled with the all too familiar coppery smell of blood. Blood that she assumed correctly belonging to her.

The rare use of the endearment wasn't lost on her and she held him tighter as he pressed his forehead against the top of her head. Castiel had not resisted Dean removing Y/n from his embrace and stood there impassively watching them. Images of y/n's heaven were in his mind's eye as they held each other. It might not be her ideal heaven now, but in the future it seemed it would be.

When Dean released her with a gruff promise to buy her a "new damn bra", Sam gathered her up into his arms, holding her silently against his chest. Y/n could feel his heart pounding against her cheek, telling her what the normally eloquent brother couldn't put into words. She rubbed her hands up and down his back as she realized he was suppressing sobs. He released her with a deep breath.

Sighing, Y/n looked down at her bloody and ruined clothes, "Okay, I really need a shower, so..."

Sam's phone began to ring and looking down at the screen, cleared his throat and said, "Wanna bet this is the sheriff calling to let us know our partner's body is missing?"

Dean sighed, "I guess we better go and bullshit our way out of this one. Roll it up in our ongoing "investigation". Cas, you stay here and keep your eye on Y/n."

"I'm only taking a shower, Dean.", Y/n muttered gathering her stuff.

"Yeah, like you can't die in a shower," he retorted, "Come on, Sammy."

Sam eyes had darkened with past grief as he flashed back to that horrible string of Tuesdays and repeated Dean's request, "Watch her, Cas...please."

Y/n sighed again as the boys left locking the door behind them. Cas still stood impassively in the middle of the room as Y/n entered the small motel bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Y/n began running the water, giving the ancient hot water heater time to get working. She stood in front of the small mirror and removed her shirt. Both sites of the bullet entries were smooth as a baby's bum, nothing. Sighing she got into the shower and began soaping up with the small bar of motel soap. Although thr mortician had clean her up somewhat, there was still blood smeared in hard to reach places. She frowned at having left her body wash in the other room.

"What the crap, Cas!," she shrieked when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. He chuckled into her neck but grew serious when he turned her around. Solemnly he began washing her with her forgotten body wash. Each time she tried to start talking, he just looked at her with such a sad look, she finally quit trying.

Once he had cleaned her to his satisfaction, Castiel wrapped her in one of the worn motel towels. He carried her to the bed and lay down beside her.

Tracing the edge of her face, he whispered, "Where were you?" He trailed his fingertip down to her shoulder, to stop momentarily at the wound site, before trailing farther down to her chest. She shivered at the light touch.

"I couldn't find you," he whispered looking away, not wanting to admit his failure face to face.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I'm here now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I had a fright when I got ready to post this..all my work, gone poof :( :( three chapters worth!!  
> But I here's a re-working of what I could remember of ch.9 and a bit of a different twist in the story that I had not previously thought about.  
> Any who...whew I got this up. Let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

When the brothers returned, Y/n and Castiel were fully dressed and sitting on the couch. Dean's eyes narrowed seeing that Cas's hair was damp, the angel never needed to shower. Dean's eyes also lingered a bit too long on the rumpled bed but he chose to keep silent as he popped open a beer.

"So now what?", he asked the other three

 

\------

Later, they were already into their fourth or fifth beer as they sat around the small table. They were discussing the case while Cas held Y/n's hand tightly. His eyes never left her face, studying it as if he could determine what happened to her by just looking. He had already tried reading her thoughts but it had only been a blurry muddle.

Every so often, Y/n would squeeze his hand reassuringly as they discussed what little information they had.

"So did you find out anything about the fountain?", Y/n asked Sam.

He shook his head, "I never looked at it again."

Dean agreed, "We were too messed up over you "

"Well, I'm here and apparently back to normal so...let's figure out this puzzle before someone else disappears," she said picking up her phone to re-examine her photo.

Sam opened his laptop to try and cross reference the photo to anything familiar while Dean said he was going to go back to the site and see if he had missed anything. Castiel offered to go with him and to the surprise of the other two humans, he agreed.

Dean and Cas had not been gone long before Y/n murmured to Sam, "You know, I think I might go lay down. I'm really tired all of a sudden."

Sam didn't look up from his screen but agreed that might be a good idea. A few minutes later he glanced over to check on her. She was covered up, head resting on the pillow. Other than a little pale, she looked fine. Sam turned back to his laptop and continued working.

Y/n lay with her head on the scratchy hotel pillow, watching Sam stare intently at the computer screen. She was so tired; she would just take a short nap and then get up to help Sam. Y/n fell deep into black.

Sam was startled out of his research a couple of hours later by his cell phone ringing, "Hey, Dean....yeah..we're good..yeah, she's resting. Okay, let me ask her. She's been asleep for a while, now." Sam crossed over to the bed, where Y/n lay pale against the pillow.

Sam gently nudged her but she didn't wake.

\------

Dean and Cas had combed through the place for two hours and were coming up with nothing. Finally Dean said, "I'm going cross-eyed looking at everything a billionth time through, not to mention hungry. Let's grab a pizza and head back to Sam and Y/n." Cas nodded in agreement and stood silently by Dean as he dialed his brother.

"Hey, Sammy...we are coming up with bupkis here, not a damn thing. How are you guys?....that's good,..hey you think she'll want to eat something? Pizza sound good?... Ok...I'll wait." Dean turned his attention to Cas, "Sam said she's been sleeping which is good, he's gone to.." Dean was cut off by Sam's screaming Y/n's name. "Sam!? Sammy? What's wrong!?" Dean turned panicked eyes at Cas who looked at him in confusion, "I can't see her, Dean!"

"Take us back to the damn room!" Dean demanded.

\----

When y/n didn't respond, Sam pulled back the covers to discover the entire bed underneath her was covered in blood. "Oh, my god..y/n! Y/n!!" He jerkd her up and began feeling for a pulse that was not there. "Y/n!" He couldn't hear his brother yelling his name over his own screams.

\-----

Instantaneously, Dean and Castiel were standing right inside the room where they found Sam cradling Y/n in his lap, blood was everywhere and he was weeping, "She was sleeping...she was only sleeping..."

Castiel reached out with a hand he couldn't keep from trembling and touched her forehead. It only confirmed what Sam had already told them. She was gone. And if this were anything like the past, he wouldn't be able to find her.

Dean had fallen to his knees beside the bed, "What the hell is going on, Cas?"

Castiel shook his head, "I...I don't know, Dean."

He let his hand drop weakly to his side as Sam only held her closer, muttering, "She was just sleeping, only sleeping."

Knowing there wasn't any point in taking her to the hospital, they sat in relative silence for quite some time, the quiet interrupted occasionally by a ragged breath from Sam who still held her body close to him.

Castiel fought the urge to wrench her motionless body from Sam, to cradle her close like Sam was doing, to weep and wail as the larger man had done when they had first returned from the tourist sight. Yet, Cas just stood wordlessly and still beside Sam, standing watch against a foe that couldn't be beaten and had already won.

Dean had been taken aback by his younger brother's reaction. He had actually thought his brother had gotten use to losing loved ones; his poker face was damn good. He had not reacted this violently since Jesse had died all these many years ago. But then, Dean had not witnessed his brother's reactions to the many deaths of him that Gabriel had caused him to be witness to. A man can be expected to endure only so much before breaking and they were all pretty broken to begin with.

Around midnight, Dean finally stood from his sentinel and announced, "I'm gonna get it ready."

Sam looked at Dean in despair while Cas looked at him in confusion.

"Not yet, Dean," Sam whispered.

""When, Sam? When she begins to rot or her spirit comes back to haunt us? She wouldn't want either.", Dean snapped turning towards the door.

Castiel finally grasped what Dean was saying, "You're going to burn her?"

"She was a hunter, she deserves a hunter's burial. You've got two hours. Get her ready.", Dean didn't turn to face them so they couldn't see the tears coursing down his own cheeks. Not since Charlie had he felt so useless and empty.

\---------

Dean was finishing up the pyre when he received a call from Sam.

"She's alive, Dean. I don't know how, but she's alive.",Sam told him.

Again, they subjected her to all the tests and each one came up negative.

"Do you remember anything? Anything at all?", Sam quizzed her for what seemed the hundredth time.

Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose and thought, "It's just what I told you. I felt really tired. And then I wasn't here. I was somewhere. And...I wasn't alone..."

During all this, Castiel had not spoken. He just looked at her, studied her. He had touched her forehead and still nothing clear had appeared. Just swirling color and light.

"Were you alone the last time?", Dean asked. Y/n shrugged, "I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I don't remember a whole lot."

Dean turned to Cas, "What do you think?"

"I don't know," the usually mild angel snapped. He was getting frustrated, seeing her wake up like that. He hated not knowing what was going on.

Y/n swallowed hard and said softly, " What if it happens again?"

"Then we'll assume you'll come back like before; we'll figure this out", Dean said stubbornly.

"But what if I don't?", she said even softer.

Dean scowled and said,"Then we'll take care of you."

Knowing what that meant she nodded but Castiel glared at his best friend.

"But we're going to figure this out," Sam assured her picking up on the tension between Dean and Castiel.

A few minutes later, Dean stretched and said, "Well, I don't know about you kids but I'm beat."

He tossed a key at Sam," I got us a room." He didn't look at Y/n or Castiel but only began gathering his things. Sam seemed almost reluctant to leave but he left with an extra long embrace. He was having flashbacks to those horrible Tuesdays.

When they left, Castiel stood silently in the middle of the room. This had been the second time in 24 hours he had seen the woman he loved dead and come back to life. This feeling of fear. It was not an experience he relished.

Lost in his thoughts, he was startled when Y/n placed her hand gently on his arm.

"Hey...you wanna lay down with me.", she asked softly.

Panic must have shown on his face because she quickly said, "Just to lay down, not to sleep."

Soon they were lying together in the motel bed. They had helped each other remove their clothing but there was nothing sexual in the act. He only wanted to be as close to her as physically possible. He couldn't help but shudder when he covered up with the bed sheet. The only thing he had been able to do during the whole crisis was clean the bed of her blood. She was already gone when he and Dean had returned.

Y/n was worried about Castiel. He had hardly spoken since what could only be called her second "resurrection". And when she had touched his arm, he had jerked as if she had hit him. His face had been sheer terror when she suggested going to bed.

 

Now Y/n felt him shudder against her back and she nudged him with her elbow, "Hey, roll over."

Confused but compliant, Cas rolled over and she became the big spoon, as well as she could around his larger frame. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her chest as she rested her cheek agaisnt his back. She felt him sigh a few minutes later.

"This is a time when I am thankful I am not human," he whispered.

"Yeah?", she murmured against his back. Her fingers were tracing patterns against his skin.

"Yes, because when I close my eyes I can't see you. I'm afraid if I were able to sleep you'll disappear.",he murmured bringing her hand to his lips. They lay the rest of the night, silent but awake. One, not needing sleep and the other fearing what would happen if she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a hundred percent certain....would Sam react as violently to another death besides Dean, I don't know...


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, Y/n woke bleary eye having dozed off around dawn despite her resolve to stay awake. Castiel had remain eyes wide open by her side, rigid with worry. Sam and Dean rejoined them with breakfast. They too looked like they were short on sleep.

"I guess you better stay out of sight since you're suppose to be, um..you know.", Sam told her as he handed her a coffee.

Y/n blanched at the thought of staying inside the entire investigation. The four walls of the motel room were going to get old quick.

Immediately Castiel offered, "I'll take her to the bunker, where it's safe."

Dean pursed his lips, thinking hard, torn between his desire to see her safe and his need to have her within reach in case something happened to her. He didn't trust her being alone and with her not being able to go out into the field, they now needed Cas with them. That would leave her alone hundred of miles away.

"No, you stay. We need you on research and...stuff.", he didn't want to go into detail about his reasons in keeping her close. That it was hard to breathe when he thought about her being gone.

Y/n began to pout and he conceded with the offer that Cas might could take her somewhere later, far from the town under the condition they didn't stay gone long. "Go do girly crap..."

It wasn't ideal, but Y/n could tell by his tone Dean wasn't budging. Cas agreed saying conspiratorally, "I'm sure we can find an ice cream parlor." He gave her a small smile when she grinned, yet all he could see was a '67 Impala resting in a remote part of heaven. Especially when it seemed that Dean's hand lingered a bit longer than necessary on her shoulder when telling her good bye as he and Sam left to do more investigating.

Sam and Dean returned a few hours later, still without a lead on what was going on. But they did find out that the victims when passing through might have had something else in common as well. Sam wanted to to do some more research since right now the connection seemed a bit far fetched.

Sam had also managed to find a fountain that looks strikingly similar to the one in town. Yet this fountain was in Central Park, New York City.

Y/n studied the larger fountain and asked "Why put a replica here in the middle of no-wheresville?"

Sam shrugged pulling his laptop back over to his side of the table.

Y/n began going through the files of the other missing persons. "This is odd...did either of you realize that all the disappearances were on a Saturday?" Sam stopped scrolling and stared at her.

"What?", Dean looked at her with a what the hell does that matter look. She shrugged as she stood up to stretch.

"Too weird.", she agreed. She let her arms snap back down to her sides as she looked pleadingly at Dean.

"Can I go out? Cas will take me were no one will recognize me and we won't stay longer than an hour."she asked looking at the eldest brother.

He frowned doen at the file in front of him. Dean had already been second guessing his suggestion from earlier, he wasn't sure how he felt ahout her going so far.

"Come on, Dean...please??", she wasn't as good with the puppy eyes as Sam but they worked on Dean almost every time. Dean snorted but waved her on. He pinned Cas with a glare, "Keep her safe."

Castiel grated in his monotone voice, "With my life."

The two continued to glare at one another until Sam snapped,"Okay, enough with the pissing contest. Cas take her and be back by 5:30." He was giving them an extra half hour. Dean huffed but didn't contradict his brother when Y/n squealed grabbing Castiel's hand.

"Come on, come on! I want some fries too!", she chirped tugging on him.

Castiel looked down at her smiling indulgently, "A bit demanding, aren't we? Anything else, your highness?"

Y/n grinned up at him,"I'll think of something." They disappeared, leaving Dean smiling slightly at the spot where they had been standing. Sam watched Dean and felt a bit concerned at the look on his brother's face.

\-----

Castiel had taken Y/n to an ice cream parlor on a boardwalk on the West Coast. He enjoyed listening to her laughter as the salt water washed up on her bare feet. He had been persuaded to remove his own shoes, which he held along with hers as she danced along the water's edge.

Y/n giggled at the sight of him in his suit and trenchcoat, pant legs rolled up, holding two pairs of shoes and an ice cream cone. She had told him she could hold her own shoes yet he insisted on carrying both pairs. He looked...uncomfortable, but he was smiling.

Y/n was skipping ahead of him, laughing. She would stop every so often, kicking her foot out causing the droplets of water to scatter like diamonds in the sun. Castiel had stopped to watch her, a smile playing on his lips, this would have been his heaven, given a choice. Her laughter, the wind and just being.

The sun was shining brightly on the waves, reflecting a bit in his eyes. That's why he didn't think anything about her stopping for a moment, because of the sun hindering his view. She was standing still on the edge of the foam, facing him. He smiled at her, not really being able to see her.

It was only when he came closer and saw the strange look on her face, did he feel a twinge of anxiety. Her ice cream cone had fallen onto the sand. Castiel tried to speak in normal voice, not to let his anxiety bleed through but the use of human endearment was evidence of his struggle for normalcy, to cling to what had been, trying to deny what he was actually witnessing, "Honey, you dropped your ice cream."

The terror on her face frozen him to the spot and it wasn't until she reached out to him, whispering his name that he was able to move and come to her. He dropped his own ice cream and the shoes when he saw the red blooming across her chest and spreading over her shoulder and down her arm. Everything seems to be going so so slow, he couldn't get to her fast enough.

Castiel caught her as she fell forward. "Y/n? Y/n?" People were beginning to look over at them and Castiel risked being seen, disappeared as he returned to the motel room. He was holding her against him, her head lolling on his shoulder, her arms awkwardly draped over his, while he clasped his hands around her back trying to keep her upright. Her feet turned on her ankles, as her literal dead weight sagged in Cas's grip.

"What the hell?", Dean yelped, jumping up at Castiel's sudden appearance. Sam tipped his chair over in his haste getting up as well.

Castiel had fisted his hands in the back of her shirt and he sank to the floor. This time he let all the pent up rage at his uselessness in keeping her there, keeping her with him. His emotional outburst was causing the lights to flicker and blow out. Later they would discover that several power substations had caught on fire, resulting in several neighborhoods to go black for several hours.

Dean tried to remove her from his grip but Castiel only growled at him to not to touch her. Time and time again, Castiel's power flared as he futilely tried to heal her and bring her back. What seemed a eternity later, Sam pulled her body from his weaken grasp while Dean told him repeatedly, "She's gone, man. There's nothing you can do. You're gonna burn yourself out."

This time Dean did not brook any arguing. "She's dead. She's gone. We give her a burial. Get her ready. What is dead, needs to stay dead. I can't..I can't do this again..."

Sam just sat in the floor beside Cas, holding her as Castiel held her hand and wept.

\-------

Dean led them out into the abandoned field where he had constructed the funeral pyre earlier in the ordeal. Castiel had washed her body of the blood, such a different senerio was being played out that from the last bath he had given her. Sam gently wrapped her in the sheet from the motel's bed and carried her to the Impala.

Castiel sat in the back seat with her head in his lap. Dean looked back and his jaw clenched at the sight for Cas had unwrapped her face and was stroking the hair off her forehead. He was whispering to her and Dean could barely hear what he was saying, "I'm so sorry...I promised..that I would teach you... Olani hoath ol..." 

Dean's hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white and he drove too fast down the old dirt road. Sam just slumped further down in his seat, head resting against the window and Dean's heart broke all over again. It was just like he would do when he was younger, drawing up into himself from grief.

\---

Once they had gotten to where Dean had built the pyre, Cas had already recovered Y/n's face. He wouldn't let either of the brothers help him, he insisted on placing her on the pile of wood himself.

The three men stood silently staring at the shrouded body for several minutes. Dean opened his lighter and got ready to toss it on the gasoline soaked wood.

"What the hell is going on!", the muffled demand was heard from within the wrap of cotton. "Seriously, guys, what in the hell?" The bound body began wriggling about before it stopped suddenly, "Hey...do you smell gas? I smell gas...oh hell no! Get me out of here!!"

Castiel was quicker to recover and he pulled her off the pyre and began unwrapping the cloth. A very scared y/n peeked out from it. "Um...hi?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'm sorry! So sad! :( I need to to write some fluffy on shots now  
> (The Enochian is "I love you" I will cite where I got it when I get back. )


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to go ahead and apologize...I'm sorry

Dean stumbled back as if he had been punched in the gut and fell ass first to the ground, drawing his knees up to his chest, putting his head in his hands while Sam staggered drunkenly to her in order to inspect her body. The wounds, which had reopened mysteriously two times, were gone again.

Dean roared into the night pounding the ground in anger while Castiel and Sam helped unwrap the shroud. "What in the hell is going on?"

There was no answer to be had.

The ride back to the motel was tension filled to say the least. Y/n was wrapped tightly in Castiel's arms, this time he was afraid to probe her mind, afraid to see...or not to see. Terrified of failure once again and horrified that he might succeed...

Y/n kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. Pretending that she didn't notice the hitched breathing of an angel who had no need for oxygen.

Dean was having a hard time focusing on the road. He kept looking up at her in the rear view and each time was overcome with the horror that he had almost burned her alive. He was soaked in sweat and felt sick. Sam had offered to drive but he knew if he gave up what little control he was using to drive, he'd be sick all over the place. He wanted...no, he needed a stiff drink...a lot of them.

Once they were back in her room, Sam began questioning Y/n. It was how he coped. Find the answer, discover the solution, fix the problem before he broke into a thousand pieces. His emotions teetered on the edge of a deep, dark hole and he was holding as tight as he could.

"Do you remember anything? Anything at all? Anything, even if it seems insignificant."

Y/n shrugged uncomfortably because this time she did remember and she knew they would not handle it well.

\-------

It had been amazing. For a few brief minutes, Y/n could imagine living a life outside of hunting. Married and living a life so boring and mundane that it was wonderful.

She had allowed herself to daydream, looking at Cas, dreaming that they were just a family visiting the seaside. She even indulged in the thought of a little girl with dark curls, bright blue eyes, squealing in delight as she walked her first steps on the sand holding on tight to the finger of this wonderful man who had chosen her, Y/n..a no one, nobody special.

Then it all came crashing back when she felt, again, the excruciating pain in her shoulder and chest. Her vision was fading to black and Cas who looked, scared oh so scared and then...he was gone.

Y/n was back, wherever her spirit had gone before, only now she was more aware, alert. A soft white light surrounded her before fading into a beautiful spring morning, those rare days that even the smell of it held promise. And her blood chilled at the voice behind her.

"Oh, sweet...when will you learn? When will any of you learn?"

\--------

Y/n sat lost in her thoughts as Dean stomped around making declarations, "Let's get this damn case over and done with so we can get the hell out of here. So we can focus on Y/n, find how what in blue hell is going on."

Castiel was half paying attention when he murmured,"Hell isn't blue, Dean. You know this." He was staring at Y/n intently.

"Son of a bitch, Cas...it's an expression.", Dean pulled his hands down his face, stretching it down in his frustration.

Sam sat pensively looking at Y/n as he thought. He had not spoken since Y/n was unable or unwilling to answer his questions. Just sat in silence. Something was nagging in the back of his mind, but it was just out of reach. Sighing he stood up, "I'm gonna go get some supplies...some fresh air." Maybe being out of the room would jar his memory.

Y/n stood up as well, pulling a scarf out of her bag and a pair of sunglasses. "I'm coming with...I'll stay in the car."

Dean didn't have the energy to argue, he just nodded at her. Then curiously he looked at Cas, and when the angel caught his glance, Dean flicked his eyes at Y/n. Castiel stood and silently followed her out, climbing into the backseat letting her sit shotgun.

Sam didn't even put on the radio, driving slow with the windows down. He drove out to a store one town over, just in case, even though she said she'd stay in the car. Cas sat motionless in the back, lost in his own head. Y/n leaned on the side of the door and stuck her hand out the window, letting the air stream through her fingers. Everything seemed normal, yet also so screwed to hell.

Sam found a gas station that was several miles out, a small one that catered to the locals. The chances of anyone from the other town being there slim but Y/n kept the sunglasses on. Sam parked a small distances from the entrance and Sam killed the engine, he just sat for several minutes before sighing and opening the door.

Slowly Sam got out and ambled over to her side of the car. Leaning, leaning , leaning his tall frame down until he was level to the window. He asked her, "Anything special?"

Y/n shook her head without speaking and he patted her arm through the window,"Alright, a surprise then." Y/n's eye pricked at his attempt to comfort.

He smiled as he said it but it didn't quite reach his sad, sad eyes. She tracked him as he shuffled away to the store, hands deep in his pockets, shoulders hunched, flannel pulled tight between his shoulders. She could almost see the distress and worry radiate from his body.

And she turned words over and over in her mind like rocks bouncing along a stream smoothing their edges out, only these thoughts kept their jagged edges, cutting as they tumbled. Wounding.

\---------

"They love you, you know. More than you could ever know, more than they even know themselves.", the honey warm voice spoke behind her as she looked out over the wildflowers waving gently in the spring wind. Columbines, cockscombs, tall grasses swayed as the sun warmed her face.

"It's going to be the death of them..and you. Don't you understand?", a hand gently rested on her shoulder.

Y/n looked up to watch the birds play in the clouds.

"They will risk their small lives again and again to keep you safe...until one day they will be a second too late. And you'll be gone...." The speaker leaned over her shoulder, slowly almost tenderly.

She looked out to the trees at the bottom of the hill, leaves tossing green and new.

"Oh, they'll continue on until one day they'll realize they're just as dead as you, just going through the motions, but ashes on the inside.", she could feel the breath on her cheek, warm and sweet.

She closed her eyes and turned her head away to feel the wind blow against her face.

\--------

Y/n opened her eyes when Sam returned to the car, plastic bags in tow. He tossed them in onto the seat beside her before he climbed in after, folding his long legs behind the steering wheel.

"Dig through and see what you like," he smiled, this time it wasn't forced when he saw her delight at the prospect of goodies.

"You're almost as bad as Dean," he laughed as she pawed through the bags looking at what he had bought. Castiel echoed the laugh with a soft chuckle as she exclaimed happily over the wide variety. He fought against the panic, the sense of dread, against an idea that surfaced uninvited, it was a last supper of a sorts.

Settling on a bag of sweets, she tore it open enthusiastically while Sam pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the small country back road. The sweet smell of the candies hit her nose and she quickly begged Sam to pull over. He barely got to the shoulder before she had the door open and was retching into the tall grass.

"Too late...too late..", echoed in her head as Sam and Castiel frantically asked what was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the fluff piece that this started out as has grown into to this not so fluffy story  
> O.o  
> Thank you for everyone who has gone this far on the journey with me! I'm hoping that it will be a happier one soon, it still has a story to tell so let's keep our fingers crossed and hope it's a good one :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized this story was getting way short on the good feels...

Y/n rode the rest of the way back to the motel with her head in Castiel's lap, looking up at the stony set of Castiel's face. When he had touched her forehead with his fingertips in an attempt to help her earlier, he snatched them back as if he had been burned. His eyes had bore into hers, questioning...almost angry even and she had silently pleaded for him not to speak. Now he avoided her gaze.

Yet, he carded his fingers through her hair gently and she was lulled into a semi-sleep state. Why was this happening? What was to be done?

Sam picked up on the tension between them but was kind enough to not to pry, even though he was jittery with anxiety. He knew Cas had discovered something when he brushed her forehead but for now he was keeping silent as was Y/n.

When y/n entered the motel room, Dean immediately knew something was wrong.

"What happened?", he demanded. Y/n tried to shrug it off but Sam told him.

"Y/n got sick on the way back.", Sam said leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets.

"You mean car sick? She didn't throw up in Baby, did she? Or what?", Dean demanded looking at Sam who shrugged. He swiveled his eyes at Castiel who avoided his look.

"What is it?",Dean asked staring directly at Cas. Cas sighed and looked up at the ceiling still avoiding the question. Y/n just sat quietly on the bed.

Sam told Dean, "I don't know, Dean. She just opened a bag of candy and got sick."

"And Cas knows why?", Dean demanded, getting more frustrated by the second.

Sam shrugged again, "He knows something but..." Sam trailed off at the stubborn look on Cas's face. Y/n just crawled up the bed to a pillow and hugged it.

"Ok, fine...be a dick, Cas.", Dean snapped walking up to the side of the bed. In contrast to his anger towards Castiel keeping secrets, he gently placed his hand on Y/n's head, his thumb stroking her temple.

"We'll figure this out, Y/n...I swear I'll die before I let anything else happen to you again, baby", he whispered and was dismayed when all she did was wail into the pillow.

\--------

It took several minutes to calm y/n down. This was the first time they had ever witnessed hysteria like this from her. With all the crap they dealt with on a daily basis, this was the first for them and they were scared shitless. Even after the dying and returning she had never once reacted out of control like this.

Cas was hesitant about it but finally put her to sleep, against his wishes, but Dean has his arms around her as she flailed against him, screaming at him to leave her alone. Dean was yelling over the top of her screams for Cas to do something, dammit. Even Sam looked at Cas with a silent plea and a nod of his head. Reluctantly Castiel reached out and touched her forehead and she fell silent almost immediately, asleep in Dean's arms.

Dean smoothed back the sweat soaked hair from her forehead, and although she couldn't hear him in her almost coma like sleep, muttered soft words that he didn't give a damn who heard and what the hell is going on, baby...he pressed his forehead hard against her head.

Sam sat heavily into a chair and held his head with his hands. His fingers clutching his brown hair in despair.

"What the hell was that?", he muttered, brokenly. Castiel turned away from the sight of Dean holding Y/n, Dean's eyes closed tight in pain. Castiel closed his own eyes as well, struggling against the panic and fear fighting for control. He shook his head before disappearing from the room.

"That's right, run, get your shitty ass out of here you damn coward...run..", Dean muttered when he left. Sam only looked at the couple on the bed, despair etched on his face. Y/n slept soundly and dreamed.

\------

Y/n was sitting in the bunker, sitting at a table in the library. Sam was holding a book, laughing. Castiel was sitting beside her smiling broadly, holding her hand tightly. Dean was behind her, hands on her shoulders. She heard something unfamiliar and looking up, she was aghast. Dean was laughing. Truly laughing. He caught her looking up and dropped a kiss on her forehead. His eyes were crinkled at the edges and his grin was so broad.

"Aw, smile, sweetheart. It's just a phase, trust me. Sammy was the worse. Let me tell about the time..."

It faded away as Sam moaned, "Again? Come on, Dean..."

Now she was walking along a beach, it was colder than the last time she remembered being there. It didn't stop the others ahead of her from staying out of the waves, two men were teasing a child.

The sun was behind them, so all she could make out were their silhouettes. But she could hear the little girl's squeals, "No Daddy! It's too cold!", as her father pretended to throw her out into the surf. The other man laughed when the waves actually splashed up on the other man. He jumped back yelling, "Dammit, its cold!" Y/n smiled at the laughter, then came to a dead stop when she recognized...

"You're going to be fine...", Castiel was sitting beside a hospital bed, holding her hand. So many tubes, so many wires. "I'm tired, Cas.", she whispered squeezing his hand. He returned the squeeze gently.

"I know. It's okay. Sam is right out side, he would like to come in and see you, before...", Cas stood up and went to the door. Another person sat down, a doctor. The young doctor tossed a long dark braid over her shoulder as she took Y/n's hand gently in her own, "He'll be right back, he's just gone to get.."

Y/n interrupted her, "Where's Dean?" The doctor whispered, "He's okay...he'll be waiting." The young doctor smiled broadly although tears were gathering in her eyes...eyes that looked oh so familiar...

It was a good dream...

\---------

Y/n woke up a few hours later, still wrapped in Dean's arms. He had fallen asleep himself, exhausted from the last few days. Castiel had returned and was sitting in a chair he had pulled up to the side of the bed, holding her hand. He sat with a preoccupied look on his face, as if he were listening to distant voices but when he became aware that she was awake he smiled at her softly.

"Hey,", she whispered squeezing his fingers. She felt heavy and even though she had slept for a couple of hours, still bone tired.

"Hello," he whispered squeezing back gently.

Y/n could have sworn he looked older, tired. An impossibility she knew ...but...he looked aged. His blue eyes less brilliant, face more lined. And her heart consticted because she knew it was from worry over her. Attention placed on her, taken from grander schemes and more important things than her.

His thumb stroked her wrist and he whispered, "Nothing compares."

Y/n closed her eyes and a tear leaked out from her beneath her lashes. He had heard her thoughts tumbling...

Castiel brought her hand up to his lips.

"You know?", she asked, eyes still shut.

Castiel sighed heavily. "Yes...I do."

"Will you tell them?", she asked as more tears leaked.

"I...don't like keeping secrets...but I am content to do what you think is best.", he told her softly.

"Why aren't you angry? You seem so...passive about it now that you know.", she asked, curiosity about his reaction fighting and winning over the urge to jump up and flee.

"I am....concerned. No...actually I have never been more terrified in all of my existence, but not angry, no...this is my responsibility. No...that's not true, my honor, to...", he was interrupted by her.

"Cas, what in the hell are you talking about?! How in the bloody hell is it your responsibility? He's the one who's responsible! He's the one who has killed me three times already! Where is the honor in it for you?!", Y/n exclaimed not worried about waking up Dean.

Castiel dropped her hand and stared at her. "You don't know?"

His frown deepened as she asked again, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Cas stood up and looked very agitated. "You must tell me right now who you are talking about, Y/n"

Just then Sam burst in from the other motel room, "Hey guys, check this out..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did it help balance out?


	14. Chapter 14

Dean sat up stretching and made a pretense of rubbing his eyes, pretending to just now wake up. He'd been awake ever since Y/n had first stirred. Heard the conversation between Y/n and Cas, had felt her suppressed sobs. Dean had heard Castiel's confession on knowing what was going on, yet there was now confusion on what that actually was.

"Geeze, Sammy..", he pretended to grouse, acting as if Sam's loud entrance was what had woken him up. Sam shrugged, having kicked the door shut, balancing his laptop and a cup carrier with coffee on top.

Y/n had already scooted off the bed looking at Castiel warily, while Cas just glared at her. He ignored Sam as he put his laptop on the table, moving a vase of flowers out of the way and saying, "I figured out the connection with the vics."

Y/n pointedly turned away from Cas to look at what Sam was trying to show them. Swallowing a growl of frustration with her, Cas stood rigid on the other side of Sam while he explained what he had found.

"So the fountain here in town looks just like the fountain there....", Sam pointed to a fountain that looked very similar to the one they had been investigating.

"Where is that?", Y/n asked, chewing on her nail, ignoring Cas who was staring a hole through 

"Central Park, New York. Bethesda's fountain.", Sam supplied.

"Why the hell did someone replicate that fountain here? What does it have to do with the victims?", Dean griped opening a beer.

Sam quirked an eyebrow at his brother's beverage choice, it was nine in the morning. Sam had brought in coffee for himself, as well as Y/n and Dean but they had both declined. Dean was in need of something a bit stronger. Y/n only pushed the syrofoam cup across the table away with a small frown.

"Beer is made from grain...it's liquid bread. I'm having toast in bottle. Just answer the damn question.", Dean griped before taking a long drink.

"This place.", Sam tapped to another screen. It was showing a comic book store in Los Angeles. Each month, different actors, comic book writers, illustrators, you name it, are scheduled for a meet and greet."

"It's like a Mecca for geeks...oh hey is that Stan Lee?", Dean turned the screen so he could look more closely.

Sam sighed turning the laptop back to face him, said, "That's the connection. Each of them were going there."

Dean looked up and asked, "So?"

Sam brought up pictures of each victim. Apparently, they were all huge comic book fans. More specificly fans of a certain story arc.

"The Avengers?", Dean made a face. "Don't tell me this is some Civil War crap that got out of hand!"

This time Sam looked at him blankly.

"Captain America? Iron Man? Come on, Sammy!!", Dean moaned. Sam shrugged and Y/n shook her head.

"Anyway, this is a replica of the fountain from New York.", Sam told them. "It's been featured in a bunch of movies..including the Avengers" He was interrupted by Dean, whose wheels were turning.

Dean asked his brother, "Hey, show me the pictures again." Sam gave a long suffering sigh.

Dean leaned over between Y/n and Sam to look at the laptop screen, casually, not causally, he slung an arm around Y/n's waist while leaning the the table with the other arm, Palm flat on the Formica top. This was not lost on Castiel, who's eyes narrowed but he didn't move.

"Huh, so that's it then." Dean grunted.

"So...what? "Y/n asked. The hunting life didn't leave much time for movie watching.

Dean made another face. "Come on guys,The Avengers... Central Park...Thor returns to Asgard from there...some geek thought it would be cool to build this craptastic version."

Sam stared at Dean and mumbled, "Thor?"

"Yeah, yeah...Thor has the thing, the hazmat or something..." Sam ingnored him to ask Y/n, "Did you tell me all the victims disappeared on Saturdays?"

"Yeah, why?", Y/n looked confused as she answered.

Sam stared in thought and then seemed to notice the vase of flowers, he had moved earlier, for the first time.

"Who brought the flowers?", he demanded picking them up.

The other three looked at the vase. "They were just here...", Y/n said feeling queasy....columbines, cockscombs and mistletoe?

\-------

She was back...there.

This time she was on the edge of the field, close to the tree line. Looking into the dark of the forest beyond.

"It's too late...I warned you and now he will go to his ruin because of you, sweetness." The voice was dark and foreboding.

For the first time she spoke back, "Why are you doing this?"

"I have my reasons.", the voice turned slightly petulant, a bit more whiny.

"Tell me...since you're so hell bent on insisting I quit whatever it is I'm doing. The least you can do is tell me why you are putting us through all this crap.", Y/n snapped turning around.

When she turned, the sun was behind him, blinding her. She held her hand up to shield her face.

"I'm nobody...what is so special about me that you have to do all this?", she demanded.

"You were until you and those douchebags pulled Castiel down into your lives....he has crossed lines before, doll...but with you....", the figure gave a low whistle, "he might as well have dug his grave. It was bad enough when he grew emotionally attached. Nothing new, seeing how he's fond of those two knuckle draggers he calls friends. "

"But you sweetheart, he's throwing it all away...you'll see. He was a fool to have fallen in love with you. It's one thing for a casual fling but this...Unless you do something now, well the shit's gonna hit the fan. And since he already knows and unless you do something, it's good bye Angel."

"Already knows what? What does he know?! What's going to happen? What's going t o happen to Cas?!" she stepped towards him grabbing his shirt.

"Whoa, sugar!", he put his hands up to fend her off but too late, she saw his face.

"It is you!", she stammered letting her hands fall limply, her suspicion confirmed.

\----------

Castiel grabbed Y/n as she slumped down to the ground.

Pure rage was on Sam's face, "Oh my god...", he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.

Dean began asking, "What?! What?!"

"Thor, Dean...Saturdays, the flowers....," Sam was so angry he was having trouble speaking.

"I thought Thor was Thursday...", Dean looked confused but Castiel was furious.

"But Saturday is associated with his brother...", Castiel's eyes burned bright blue. The lights began to flicker as his rage rose.

"GABRIEL!!", he roared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive any discrepancies...I tried to make it a bit mysterious and thought the tie in with Loki/avengers was an interesting idea? So what did you think? Lame?


	15. Chapter 15

The TV began to flicker and oldies music could be heard playing through the static....Earth Angel. Castiel growled and the outlet to the TV began to smoke and with a pop, the screen went black.

"I prefer the Death Cab by Cutie cover, " Y/n murmured groggily against Cas's chest.

The screen flickered again without a power source.

"Everyone's a critic" was heard through the TV's speakers.

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!", Dean yelled grabbing his knife and turning in a circle.

"Show yourself, Gabriel.", Castiel demanded angrily.

"Ha...I'm not a fool. Not with Dean-o waving his toys like that. He could put an eye out. And you, dear brother, being all hot and bothered? Ppffftt."

"Gabriel, you son of a bitch...I'll do more than hurt you", Dean sneered still turning, looking for his opponent.

Sam was barely containing his own anger when he asked, "Why? Why Y/n...why this again?" He was thinking back to all those long, long damn Tuesdays.

"Well that's the million dollar question, isn't it, Sasquatch", Gabriel answered.

The TV screen flickered again and cleared revealing the archangel.

"Hello boys...miss me?", he grinned cheekily. He was dressed in that same atrocious Casa Erotica outfit form the last time the brothers had seen him.

"Hell, no...now answer Sam!", Dean roared.

"Or you''ll what, mean Dean? Bash in the TV? Throw a bigger hissy fit? Where will that get you, other than having to pay damages?", Gabriel smirked. "And your lack of solicitous greeting saddens me, after all I did for you."

"You didn't do shit, Gabriel!", Dean snorted.

"I died for you and your stupid quest to save the world...and how did that work out for you, huh? I know it went just peachy for me..." Gabriel snapped.

Sam clenched his teeth and hissed, "What were you trying to tell us, Gabriel? Why with all the mystery crap? Is this revenge?"

"Hell, no, string bean. All of that was for fun," he said, snapping his fingers and a tall blonde with a drink appeared beside him.

"What the hell are you talking about?", Dean was in danger of bursting a vein.

"Well, I had a choice between just telling you...bor-ing", he sing singed the last word. "You know me fellas, between oh hum and a good time, you know what I'll pick."

"Did you like it?", he asked gleefully.

"What the hell, she died in front of us three times. What do you think, asshole?", Dean grated, readjusting his grip on his blade.

Gabriel made a disgusted face, "Not that...that was not fun but it sure as hell got your attention. You cretins don't understand anything but pain and heartache. How else was I going to make sure you listened?"

"The clues, pretend g-man. The fountain, the flowers? It took you great minds a while to figure it out, I was kinda disappointed that ol' boy wonder didn't figure it out sooner. I almost sent a decoder ring but...meh."

Sam rolled his eyes disgusted as Dean said, "Well, it's kinda hard to keep focus when the woe...a person you care about keeps bleeding out in front of you, jackass." Gabriel's eyes sharpened at Dean's statement.

"Well, well, well...we have us a interesting situation here, Brawny.", Gabriel said smugly, flicking his eyes between Y/n and Dean before arching an eyebrow at Castiel.

Dean only glared but Castiel had heard the quick correction as well and his eyes slid over to Dean, but Dean was staring angrily at the TV, body rigid ready to pounce at the least provocation.

"What were you trying to tell us, Gabriel?" Cas spoke up for the first time since he had summoned the other angel, his voice deep and commanding.

"Well, baby brother, really just you. I only let these two knuckle heads join in the fun for shits and giggles. But, really this was all for you, Castiel. But we already know it's a day late and dollar short."

Castiel tilted his head and Gabriel waved his hand, "Yeah, yeah, you don't get that reference."

"The fact of the matter is, you already know, Cassie. What I had been trying to prevent has already happened and I'm just pissing in the wind at this point. But I needed the diversion, things were getting a bit blah.", Gabriel told his brother angel.

"What does Cas already know? If he already knew like you claim, why go through all this?", Sam asked.

"Well, that's where it gets dicey. Mi hermano and I found out about the same time. I was hoping to prevent it, but well," Gabriel popped a lollipop in his mouth.

"The candy...her getting sick from smelling the candy was another damn clue...", Sam muttered as Gabriel sucked on the sweet.

"No, Gigantor...that one's not on me...", Gabriel admitted ruefully, "But it's a great big neon sign on what's happening."

"Sooo...You gonna tell 'em or shall I drop the bouncing bombshell?", Gabriel taunted Castiel.

Before Cas could speak, Dean held up a hand to shush everyone and pinned Y/n with a sharp look.

"Dammit...dammit...dammit...Son of a bitch...", he finally muttered.

"What?", Sam and Y/n said at the same time and the look on Cas's face confirmed Dean's conclusion.

Y/n looked at him in confusion and Dean told her, "Certain smells...and your bra not fitting right. Dammit, I should have figured it out sooner."

"Figured what out, Dean?" Sam asked as Y/n's eyes grew wide in comprehension, stepping back and bumping into Castiel's solid frame. Cas placed his hands lightly on her hips to steady her as Dean continued.

"Mom...she would gag whenever she smelt roses, which she usually loved to have around all the time, and the smell of coffee made her throw up. I'm assuming she had size issues as well, but she was mom...so yeah...but I remember...it was the first time I had ever seen her sick, that's why I remember.", he answered.

"Ding, ding, ding! Give the man a cigar, he's a lot more observant than I give him credit for or is it just because it's Y/n? Now, there's a riddle for another day...", Gabriel crowed.

"Dammit, Cas...I thought we had already discussed that your angel blade was not that kind of protection," Dean tried to joke but the it fell flat as his voice cracked when the implications of this situation began to weigh on him. Y/n frowned looking down at her stomach, placing her flat hands on it. Castiel slid his hands around her waist to rest on her own hands, gently pressing them against her abdomen.

Dean had dropped his blade to step up to Y/n, framing her face with his hands, "Hey, we'll figure this, baby...it's going to be alright." She closed her eyes and nodded as Castiel pulled her just a little closer against him.

"I hate to break up this Lifetime movie moment, but guys...you do realize what this means?", Gabriel interrupted.

Sam was watching the interplay between the three most important people in his life and this time he caught on before Dean, understanding the gravity of the situation.

"A Nephilim.", he muttered bitterly.

Castiel agreed grimly, "An abomination." He clenched his eyes tightly and swallowed hard remembering what Metatron had convinced him to do.

Dean pulled Y/n away from Castiel, "What the hell?" Castiel let him pull her away without a struggle.

Castiel looked at Gabriel, "What do you plan to do, Gabriel?"

The archangel closed his eyes in thought," You know what the regulations are, Castiel. You are a rules man, you tell me."

"Nephilim are abominations and must be put to death", Castiel rasped between clenched teeth.

Dean placed himself between Y/n and Cas, Angel Blade back in his hand and pointed at Castiel. Sam stepped up to stand beside Y/n, hand on her arm, his other hand on his gun in the waistband of his jeans, even though he knew it wouldn't stop an angel.

"I'm asking you, Gabriel. Why get involved? What are you going to do?", Cas repeated his inquiry.

The trickster looked at him thoughtfully, "Let's make a deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I took an idea from one of my other writings so please forgive the recycling...  
> The next update might be a while...I have ideas and a plan but want it work smoothly   
> I might it get it up sooner   
> I hope all are still enjoying the ride!


	16. Chapter 16

"What kind of deal?", Castiel narrowed his eyes while Dean interjected, "No! We are NOT trusting this asshat."

Gabriel and Cas ignore him as they stared each other down.

"So...you have a mucho problemo on your hands but I have an idea that might just benefit us all.",Gabriel began, trying to ignore the growls of distrust from Dean.

"No one will question who the baby daddy is of the newest addition to team Winchester if you agree to one thing.", he spoke over the eldest's mumblings.

"What?", Castiel asked suspiciously, hands curling into fists.

"I want to be able to interact in the real world again without these two bozos trying to cut me down. There's bad blood but I'm willing to let that all go as water under the bridge, if they agree to leave me alone.", Gabriel stated.

"And what do we get in return?", Sam beat Dean to the question.

"Keeping my mouth sealed about the bun in the oven.", he said simply.

"Or we could just gank your ass and no ones the wiser.", Dean spat.

"Right, if I can figure out she's carrying Castiel's child, do you think you can keep it from the others on halo patrol?", Gabriel huffed.

"So, what can you do?", Sam asked more calmly than Dean, but just barely.

"Heellloooo, Trickster. How do you think I laid low for so long? It will be nothing for me to create a little illusion of mud monkey normalcy around the human bean."

"But if you die, the illusion is gone.", Castiel reasoned.

Gabriel nodded, "See, a win win. Not only do I have insurance that these freaks of nature won't hunt me down, but they might actually come in handy for protection."

"Why would we protect you in the future? Isn't it enough we won't be hunting you?" Dean sneered.

"Well seeing as that me staying alive is in the best interests of 'a person you care about', " Gabriel smirked a bit, " then yeah I think you will." There was a pause while he let that sink in.

"And that's not all.", he continued.

"What else?", Castiel asked.

"One of these chuckle heads needs to claim her as his pride and joy...pass her off as a Winchester. As distasteful as having my niece grow up calling one of these guys daddy dear, it's what needs to be done.", he told them.

Dean immediately spoke up, "Wait? Won't that put her danger as well? Being seen as a Winchester?"

"Not as dangerous as being discovered she is the child of Castiel, destroyer of heaven.", Gabriel snapped.

"It's a deal.", Castiel agreed without hesitation.

"Wait..what the hell, Cas...this is your kid. This is Y/n. You two haven't even talked about it.", Dean yelled.

Castiel looked over Dean's shoulder to Y/n. He held out his hand and she stepped around Dean to him.

"Another thing...it's got to be as if you two were never an item.", Gabriel added.

"Oh, hell no!", Dean yelled while Y/n and Sam began to protest.

"BE QUIET!", Castiel yelled, lights flickering.

"Let Y/n and I have a moment.", he said in a more normal voice when all eyes were glued on him.

He pulled Y/n over to the other side of the room. "If you want this child, this is the way it must be. This is the only way I can protect you.", he said firmly.

"I...I don't want you to leave me", she wept against his chest. This was beginning to be too overwhelming.

"I will always be here, I'm not leaving. It will just be...different.", he comforted her, wrapping his arms tight around her. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and closed his eyes tightly.

Gabriel coughed to get their attention and Dean snapped, "Give them a damn minute, ass."

Gabriel sighed, "I can give you 24 hours, tops. After that we gotta get this ball rolling. The longer we wait, the harder it's gonna get."

Castiel nodded and suddenly they were back at the bunker. Her room..where they first discovered their mutual feelings for each other. He stood by the door, arms held rigid by his sides.

"Umm.", he cleared his voice, "was there anywhere else you would have liked to have gone. It's more quiet here and I..."

"Shhhh...this is fine.", she whispered holding her hand out to him. Castiel took it and pulled her close. Every movement, every action, every sound he committed to memory. He needed this to sustain him through eternity.

For the next twelve hours they worked at forgetting about the wolf at the door.

 

\---------

The next morning, Castiel held her tightly against him and she whispered, "I don't want to forget you...to forget this." His voice broke as he told her, "I'll remember for the both of us."

Y/n sighed deeply. She pressed her face into the side of his chest and just breathed. The smell that was him alone, hard to describe but just on the tip of her thoughts, a good smell. She didn't want to forget his smell. Her chest felt tight and she held him harder.

Later, they were sitting on the top of a field, not dissimilar to where she would meet Gabriel.

"Gabriel said "her"...the baby is a girl?", she whispered.

"Yes..", Cas said simply, stroking her hair.

"I've seen her.", Y/n said eyes on the flowers.

Castiel glanced down at her thoughtfully and hummed a questioning sound.

"It was a good dream.", and in the soft light of the setting sun, Y/n told him about her dream.

"It is a good dream, it is a beautiful future." Castiel agreed and pulled her up to him.

"It's time.", he whispered softly as he took her back to the motel room where the brothers were waiting for them.

Sam was sitting on the couch and Dean was sitting stiffly at the small table. Neither brother had spoken much after the couple left. When Castiel and Y/n appeared, Dean stood up and awkwardly reached a hand out to her.

"Um...I volunteered.", he gave a lopsided smile, tears unexpectedly shimmered, his putting himself forward as the one to take the burden was not a surprise to anyone.

Without releasing Cas, Y/n took Dean's in her empty hand.

"Is...is that ok?", Dean asked uncertainty laced his voice and he couldn't quite meet Castiel's eyes.

"You're a good man, Dean. You will be a good father.", Cas said gravely, sincerely. "Other than Sam, there is no other man on earth I would entrust my heart to."

"There isn't any other way?", Sam asked one more time. He had been working through it the entire time they had been gone.

Castiel didn't speak but shook his head in the negative.

"Ok, kiddos..it's show time.", Gabriel's voice belied the lightness of the words. It sounds sad and serious.

              

"How do you want to do this, Castiel?", Gabriel asked. "I don't mind to, if...", he trailed off when Castiel shook his head.

"I think, maybe, it would be good to have them fall asleep and wake up...you know..", Sam stammered, voice thick with emotion. Y/n nodded in agreement.

"So, who first?", Gabriel pressed, "I am really trying not to be a dick, but this ain't gonna get any easier."

"I'll do it.", Dean volunteered, ever the first to enter the fire. He shuffled a few minutes before toeing off his boots and clumsily climbed onto the bed. He lay there stiffly, like a man awaiting his execution.

"O..ok.", he mumbled and Cas walked over to touch his forehead. Dean caught his hand, "I'm sorry, man"

Cas nodded and whispered,"Thank you". He brushed his fingers across Dean's forehead and he immediately fell asleep.

Castiel straightened up and turned to Y/n.

Y/n took a ragged breath and panic laced her voice, "I'm not ready...I'm not..." Her hands began fluttering and Cas took them gently in his.

"Shhhh...It will be okay. Just kiss me.", Castiel whispered pulling her to him. Y/n nodded and gave a small smile putting her arms around his neck before Cas pressed his lips to hers. They stood silently in this embrace for a few seconds.

Then Y/n's arms slid limply from around him to hand hang by her side. Castiel clutched her to him, his hands fisting her shirt as he whispered, "Shhh...it's okay...I've got you." He swung her up into his arms to carry her to the bed.

Sam closed his eyes in grief at the sight of the broken man in front of him. Castiel arranged her just so in Dean's arms and stood back for a moment. He turned to Sam who nodded before sitting back down on the couch. Cas touched his forehead and Sam blinked a few times.

"Hey, Cas....why are you here?", Sam questioned.

"Dean had called me but it seems I wasn't needed.", Castiel answered formally.

"Yeah, it was pretty weird, those people missing for months, then just turning up like nothing happened. No game, no foul, huh?".

Cas lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

Sam huffed a chuckle, "Would you look at those two? Seriously, if I weren't so happy for Dean, I'd puke."

Cas arched an eyebrow in question and Sam told him, "Oh...I guess you don't know...I better let Y/n tell you. You know how she can be."

A moment later, Dean woke up yawning, "Oh, damn...how long was I out?" He looked down at Y/n snuggled up against him.

He gave a gentle smile, "She's been so tired lately."

"Why is that Dean?", Cas asked in his trademark monotone voice. He asked a question already knowing the answer.

"Oh, yeah.we haven't told you yet. Hell, we just found out ourselves" Dean grinned broadly, "What do you think about being called Uncle Cas?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, patient readers....what do you think? I tried not to make Gabriel a total douchebag...and he might pop up in a later chapter BECAUSE the next chapter was going to be like an epilogue but then it's gotten bigger...so then I was thinking can you even have an epilogue for an epilogue. So there's another chapter in the wings if y'all are still willing to hang in there, plus something else, lol


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy fluff finally! We were in dire need here.  
> This chapter is a bit long...it encompasses eighteen years...bear with me...it's so fluffy I could die XD

"Mr. Perry? Mr. Bono?", the nurse made a strange face while saying the last name but smiled when she told the two men, "Mrs. Perry and Mr. Perry told me you two would be waiting out here. They would like for you to come and meet your niece."

"Bono?", Sam said with a disbelieving smile. Cas's voice was monotone when he confirmed, "Yes, Y/n likes The Johsua Tree."

The nurse smiled appreciatively at the taller man, asking, "So, you are the uncle?" Sam huffed a chuckle, "One of them." He thumbed back at the man behind him, "He's an uncle as well"

She looked back to smile at the dark haired man, noting that he was also easy on the eyes, although over dressed in a full suit and overcoat for the hospital at 2 am.

"Is Mrs. Perry your sister?", she asked and was confused when blue eyed man gave a tight smile and shook his head no. Huh, she thought, the two men didn't look like they were a couple, but she shrugged...who knows. Too bad if so, she wouldn't have minded getting to know the brother.

The two men entered the hospital room in hushed tones. The nurse smiled at the beaming face of the new father as he showed off his daughter to his brother, although she thought it a bit odd that the other man went straight to the hospital bed. He stood at attention speaking softly to the new mother before even looking at the new baby. The nurse couldn't help find an excuse to stay in the room to watch the small family bond.

The new baby looked so tiny in the taller uncle's hand and she couldn't help but grin at the goofy look on his face. But it was the reaction of the other man that caused her heart to stutter. When the daddy handed the infant to him, his face lit up and the look of pure joy caused tears to prick her eyes.

Castiel had never seen a creature more beautiful than the tiny being that he held, she was as beautiful as her mother. He passed the infant back to Dean, "Your daughter is very small." It was all he could say without his voice cracking. It was not what he wanted to say but it was all he could make come out.

\-------

Six months later...

"Da...da...da...", the baby babbled as she blew bubbles with her spit.

"See how smart she is...already calling me.", Dean grinned besotted at the tiny girl.

"I believe this is normal child development, this sound being the easier of the sounds for her to make.", Cas observed objectively. Dean glared at him.

Cas lifted a shoulder in apology but stuck his finger out for the baby to grab. She immediately blew a raspberry and chortled.

"See, that's what she thinks of your opinion, Uncle Cas.", Dean snickered as the little girl grinned up at her uncle before saying, "da..da..da..."

Castiel smiled back saying solemnly, "I stand corrected...."

\---------

Almost a year later..

"Y/n, should we put a bumper on the corner coming into the library?", Dean asked watching the little girl toddle towards him from her Uncle Sammy's room.

"No, Dean...we already have a gate to the stairs and the kitchen. She'll be fine.", Y/n laughed coming up behind him for a hug.

"Hmmm...", he sounded dubious and asked Cas for a second opinion, "Whaddya think, Cas?"

"That is a sharp edge, Dean", Cas readily agreed.

"Oh...my...gosh...she will never learn if you keep her from getting hurt every time she turns around.", Y/n rolled her eyes.

"That's my job,", Dean argued, "To protect her." He was so earnest in his argument that Y/n huffed fine, put a bumper.

Cas immediately snapped his fingers and it was done. Y/n blinked and looked at their proud faces.

"You guys had already decided before hand.", she accused.

Dean shrugged sheepishly, "We wanted you to feel like part of the decision."

\--------

Five years....

"Uncle Cath..see...I losth both teeth...", the little girl grinned proudly. She looked like a pig-tailed Jack o' lantern. The man knelt down and very seriously examined the empty spaces.

"I wasth going to put my teeth under my pillow for the tooth fairy like Uncle Thammy said but daddy said he'd gank that bee...", she informed him as her mother yelped, "Do NOT repeat everything your daddy says."

The little girl just shrugged and said off-handedly,"He gave me $20 dollarth anyway, so who needth the freakin' tooth fairy."

"What?! Oh that man!", Y/n muttered but couldn't help smiling at how this four foot Titan had every man in her life wrapped around her little finger. Castiel could only grinned at the little girl adopting Dean's mannerism.

\------------

Nine years.....

The little girl sobbed into the man's trenchcoat, "Please, Uncle Cas..."

He looked anxiously over her head at her mother, heartbroken at her tears, but confused.

"She's been crying for you all day. She's convinced you can bring Theodore back.", Y/n frowned as her daughter wailed.

"Who is Theodore?", Cas asked stroking the child's hair.

"I told you it was stupid to get that damn cat.", Dean glared, his anxiety level over the top at his inability to console his daughter. "I told her it was sick and was going to die."

The little girl only wailed louder. Her mother looked disapprovingly at him but softened a bit at his look of helplessness.

Y/n sighed, "Theodore is...was a stray that had been hit by car. She found it at the top of the road on our walk. She convinced Dean to bring it back, telling us that Dean could make it better and when it died, you could." Y/n looked at Castiel closely.

Cas gave a small shake of his head, indicating he had not revealed his true nature to the child but that it was something she had come up with on her own.

Cas knelt down and looked at her, asking seriously, "Why do you think that?"

The little girl snuffled and said brokenly, "B..because you and daddy can f...fix anything."

Dean sat down suddenly at realizing his daughter held him in such high regard, "Oh, honey...he was too hurt for me to help."

The little girl cried harder, " Then Uncle Cas can!"

"Oh, sweetie...", Y/n reached out for her but Cas held up a hand and pulled her into his embrace.

"Sometimes, a lot of times, people and animals die and we just can't do anything about it.", the Angel told the little girl.

"That's what Uncle Sammy said!", she only cried harder. Sam shrugged his shoulders with a sad look.

For four people who had dealt with death on a daily basis, they were at a loss on how to help the little girl who had never experienced it.

Castiel got a stubborn look on his face and swung the little girl up in his arms. "Let's go outside, sweetie." She nodded against his chest and he walked up the bunker stairs with a purpose.

"What is he going to do?", Y/n asked.

"Probably show her the stars and bore her with explaining how we are all stardust...I don't know and I sure as hell don't know what to do.", Dean sighed.

Once they were outside, Cas whispered in her ear, "Where is Thoedore?"

The little girl pointed to a small bundle under a tree.

"Daddy was going to bury him, but I wouldn't let him.", she sniffed.

When they got to the tree, Cas reached down and touched the cat briefly. Almost immediately there was a wiggling under the cloth.

The little girl unwrapped it with a big grin and held its face in her palms.

"Stay out of the road, Thoeodore. That's an order.", she told the cat seriously before letting him go.

Cas watched the exchange and asked,"Why did you let him go?"

"Because he is a free cat....not a stay here always cat.", she said seriously. "Like you. But he will come visit when he gets lonely."

She hugged him hard, "I won't keep this a secret but if they don't ask, I'm not telling them about your magic. It will be a "between us"...like when mommy tells me that she and daddy have a "between us" conversation. It's not secret, just not my business."

\----------

Thirteen years....

"You know what's funny, daddy?", the girl said handing her dad a wrench.

"That your mom still can't tell the difference between a socket wrench and screwdriver?", his voice was muffled under the car but Y/n heard it.

"Haha,", she directed at the man under the car, nudging his foot with hers as she passed., "It was one time, Dean."

"But seriously, Y/n...they are two completely different tools, they don't even look alike...", Dean slid out and looked up at her. He was so damn sexy even with the grease smear, maybe more so.

"You keep it up Winchester and no pie for you...besides I was too busy looking at something else..", she waggled her eyebrows at him.

He opened his mouth and closed it, lost for words. The tips of his ears turned red.

"Mooooom!", the middle schooler pretended to gag but secretly loved seeing her parents flirt. Most of her other friends' parents fought all the time. She'd take this any day.

Dean stood up and waggled his grease covered hands, "You threatening me?" Y/n grinned and made to get away but was too slow. Dean grabbed her from behind and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

"So..what's funny, sweetheart?", he asked hugging Y/n.

"Besides you two? Uncle Cas.", she stated, grinning at them.

"Ummm, your Uncle Cas is a lot of things but his humor is not the first thing I think of.", Dean snorted.

"Nooo..not his jokes, they're pretty lame, like the worse dad jokes ever, but he tries. No...he never changes. You and mom, are old.", she said.

"Oh geeze thanks.", Dean muttered.

"NO, I mean getting old, older. But Uncle Cas...he looks just like he did when I was born.", she told,them.

Dean released Y/n coughing, "Nah, he's getting old."

"No! He's not....just look at all our pictures!", she protested.

Y/n deflected,"Hey, speaking of uncles, Uncle Sam is coming for dinner. Let's go finish it up."

"Don't forget my pie!," Dean yelled when they left.

\---------------

The three men smiled proudly at the young woman in front of them. The taller one hugged her hard, telling her, "You're going to do great, we're so proud of you."

The next tallest handed her a duffle and gruffly said, "There's an extra hundred in the side pouch of your toiletry bag, don't spend it all in one place."

"Daddy, you already gave me money.", the girl protested.

He only pulled her tight and then shoved her towards her mom who was standing beside him. "Stay safe,sweetheart." He had already said his tearful good bye in the privacy of their home.

Y/n held her tight, pressing her lips against the cheek she had kissed good night for the last eighteen years and just breathed. Y/n didn't want to forget her smell, so uniquely hers. Then patting her back, Y/n said briskly, "Okay, go tell Uncle Cas good bye."

The said man was shuffling awkwardly a few steps away. The young woman gave her mom extra squeeze then went to hug the man that had been more like a second father than an uncle.

She was all grins, waving hard from the bus window. Her dad and his brother had lifted a hand and went to the car. They had said enough good byes. Her mom and uncle stayed waving back until the bus was down the road.

Y/n stumbled as she began to make her way to the car and Cas caught her up in a hard, bone crushing embrace, almost lifting her from the ground. This was the first time in decades that Castiel had voluntarily touched her, in the past it had been awkward shoulder pats and quick side hug welcomes. All of his affection had been channeled towards the girl moving farther and farther away from them.

Other than when she had been held by Dean, Y/n had never felt this encompassing comfort. At first she thought, "Oh..poor Cas...he's going to miss her as much as we are." But then when she breathed deep, his smell hit her. There was something distinctly different, but so familiar. It hit her that it smelled a lot like her daughter, except there was something that she knew would uniquely identify him as Cas if she were to smell it else where.

It was that night the dreams began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	18. Chapter 18

 

"Mmmm," Y/n murmured as a hand snaked up her leg, starting at her ankle on the foot that was exposed out of the covers. She had tried to pull her foot away and back under the warmth of the blankets, but the hand held it firmly before she stopped struggling. She gave a half whiny groan as it's progress allowed colder air under her cocoon and he chuckled before flipping the blankets over them both. His hand slid around her shoulder pulling her close as it came to rest on the pillow beside her. Y/n took his hand and kissed it before placing it back on the pillow. She then began to fiddle with his wedding ring as she always did, she liked seeing it on his...wait...where?

"Dean? Did you forget to put on your ring again after working on the car?", she asked softly, groggily. There wasn't any use getting upset, at least he wasn't as forgetful now as he had been in the beginning. She'd find it safely stored in Baby's ashtray every time he'd panic about losing it. She didn't answer though, he only just pulled her closer with a questioning hmmm?

She turned in his arms...only to wake up alone.

"What?", she felt the pillow beside her, cool. She stuck her hand underneathit, picking up residual heat. So he had been there, but it had been a little while. Gone a lot longer than when that exchange just happened.

"Dean?", she called out softly. Immediately, he poked his head out of the little half bath connected to their room.

"Yeah, babe?", he asked, shaving cream on his face half shaved off.

"Did you hug me before getting up? ", she asked genuinely confused.

"Noooo...but sounds like a good idea...", he lifted an eyebrow suggestively. She huffed a chuckle before asking, "So...you didn't grab my ankle while I was sleeping."

Shaving cream dropped from his chin to the floor, "Shit..", he muttered trying to grab another glob as it fell. He glanced up at her, "Hell no...and risk getting kicked in the throat? You know I learned the hard way never to mess with you like that when you're sleeping, Y/n."

Y/n smiled sheepishly as she remembered not long after they had gotten married he had tried to get frisky after she had fallen asleep, not knowing she was in a dead slumber. It had been a week before the swelling around his eye went down. Y/n had felt like dirt and it had not been beneath Dean to use that guilt for pity sex. A lot. When she caught on to his ploy, he had only grinned cheekily. The sexy bastard...

"I am sorry, Dean.", she laughed although now she didn't feel quite as guilty. In her defense, she had been asleep.

He grinned, "And I learned never to mess with a woman when she's sleeping...it sure as hell did not go the way it does in the movies. I'm just glad you only punched me and didn't gut me." He paused, "I was proud of you actually."

"What? Why?", she laughed again getting up taking the razor from him.

"Meant I had taught you well...", he murmured as she drew the razor across his cheek, shaving a swathe of foam off. This wasn't the first time he had allowed her to shave him. His green eyes darkened in anticipation as her tongue touched her bottom lip in concentration. His own tongue mimicked and she smiled when she saw it.

"Well...I am awake now...", she whispered as shaving...and the dream...were forgotten for a while.

\------

"Ummm...you might need to change your razor, Dean.", Sam looked quizzically at Dean's face.

"What? Why?", he asked reaching up to feel his face.

"You missed like...all that...", Sam muttered making a waving motion at the entire left side of Dean's jaw.

Dean felt it and winked at Y/n, "Nah...it was one of the best damn shaves I've had in a while."

Y/n laughed and laughed harder when Castiel asked, "How can it be the best when only one side is shaved?"

Y/n poked Dean's shoulder as she passed, "He must have gotten distracted."

Sam made the obligatory eww face but after all these years, it really didn't bother him. For all the crap they had been through, Sam was just glad they were still together. And happy.

Cas accepted her explination with a sweet smile and handed her the coffee he had fixed for her. Y/n smiled back thanking him. She dropped a chaste kiss on his cheek, before fixing her breakfast.

Later, they were all in the library discussing a potential job. Ever since their daughter had been born, Y/n had been strictly on research duty and now that she was grown, Y/n was pressing to go back out.

Dean and Castiel both argued against it. Dean was surprised that Cas was just as adamant about her staying out but he didn't question his motives, he was glad for the reinforcements. Dean tried to get Sam to take their side and wisely Sam stood up saying, "I'm getting more coffee. Y/n, would you like some?" She accepted with a clipped, yes, please and he left the room, leaving them to continue the argument without him.

Dean had reached the point where he would only stand with his arms folded and silent, glaring, refusing to listen anymore. It always infuriated her. It was like he had rocks in his brain, unrelenting when he thought he was right. Just as she was about to exploded, Cas placed his hand on her arm. Y/n looked down with a frown...and froze. His left hand on her arm, warm...ring less.

Y/n snatched her arm away, pretending it was because she was angry and didn't want placating. Her mind was whirling as she tried to focus on what had been the argument. Her breathing became shallow and it was getting hot in this damn room. Finally she muttered, "This is over...I've got a headache from both of you guys nagging." Dean only smirked thinking he had won, misinterpreting it as a stall so she could think up counter arguments. Castiel offered to heal her but she snapped no. She was normally not that harsh and Dean quirked an eyebrow, concern now replacing his supposed triumph.

"Why don't you go lay down?", he told her, a little less smug. She nodded and wandered down the hall. Dean watched her, asking Castiel, "You think you could check in on her while I'm gone? I'm gonna do a bit of recon..." He sighed, "Now that she's gone to school, time weighs heavy on Y/n...she thinks she has no purpose...I get that. Maybe I should let her help."

Castiel agreed to his request for checking in but gave him a disapproving look at his admission about maybe letting Y/n back out in the field.

\-------

Y/n had gone to her room still shaken by what she surely had been mistaken about. Men's hands were men's hands...they all looked...differently. She pressed her fists to her eyes. She knew Dean's hands...she knew Castiel's hands. Hell, after twenty years of living together in the bunker, she even knew Sam's hands. Y/n fell back onto the pillow, the headache she had lied about was now truth.

It wasn't long before she fell into a fitful sleep.

When Y/n didn't get up for lunch, Castiel went to her room to check on her. She was still sleeping, a frown on her face. Castiel reached down and touched her arm not quite sure if he should wake her. When she didn't immediately stir, he allowed himself an unguarded moment.

Gently, he pushed the hair from her cheek and tucked it back. Lightly with his forefinger, he traced her cheek, jawline. "Olani hoath ol.", he whispered softly. She stirred and whispered, "I love you too, Cas" she drifted back into deep sleep.

Castiel froze, finger resting gently against her cheek, eyes wide and shocked.

Castiel was not one to use human oaths, he preferred using Enochian when greatly distressed but this one slipped out....

"Son of a bitch...."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was thinking about the direction of this story, I told myself, you know this isn't a sprint...more of a marathon. This train left one-shot territory 20,000 words ago....  
> Therefore this chapter was a-hey...I like this idea, let's follow where it leads.   
> Was it a good trail to follow....


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one had some sweet parts I enjoyed writing :)

Y/n was standing at the sink washing up what little bit of dirty dishes that were left from her lunch. There would have a butt load if Dean and Sam had been home. Dean could dirty every pan, pot, and dish boiling water when it was his turn to cook, but she could forgive him since it always tasted so good. It was still amazing to her how well that man could cook.

Just as she was washing the last piece, two hands came around under her arms and began washing it with her. Well, tried to wash it. Bursting into laughter, she attempted to finish it with two sets of hands now.

"Okay stop...stop....bubbles are getting everywhere.", she admonished without heat. She felt a deep rumbling of a chuckle and then a chin rested on her head. Arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her snug against a warm chest.

"Tsk...now my shirt is wet.", she mock scolded as she pulled the stopper out of the sink, letting the dirty water swirl down. She watched it spiral as the man behind her laughed again while reaching out to scoop a bit of left over suds on his finger. This he deposited deftly onto the tip of her nose.

"Seriously?", she muttered reaching up to swipe it off, not in the least upset.

"Sam says flirting is how someone expresses interest.", the deep monotone voice gravely informed her, as the arms rearranged themselves around her waist again.

Y/n huffed a chuckle,"Better to have flirting lessons from Sam than Dean...subtly is not that man's strength."

An agreeing hmmmmm reverberated against her back and she heard him whisper, "Olani hoath ol."

Sighing she leaned back into his warmth and strength as she whispered, "I love you too, Cas."

\----------

Sam found Cas standing rigid and still outside the bedroom Dean shared with Y/n.

"Hey, Cas, how's Y/n? Dean told me before he left that she wasn't feeling well. Is she doing okay?", Sam inquired as he walked up, brow furrowed in concern.

Castiel gave hm a strange look before saying, "I need to go." And abruptly disappeared.

"What the hell?", Sam muttered at his abrupt departure. Sam peeked inside the darkened room and saw her sleeping so sent a quick text informing Dean but also that Cas was acting weird. What's new was the only reply.

\------

"Come on, Cassie...you're gonna wear a hole in my rug...it's Persian.", Gabriel whined as Castiel paced the floor in Gabe's penthouse apartment. Cas glared at him and Gabe finally just threw up his hands in surrender.

After a few more turns, Castiel stopped suddenly in front of Gabriel, asking "Why is she remembering? It was suppose to be permanent. Should I alter her memories again? What is going to happen?"

Gabriel arched an eyebrow," I don't know. Yes, it was. No, you shouldn't. I haven't the slightest idea."

Castiel gave him a bitchface and Gabriel defended," Come on, man..I. Don't. Know. It's not like with Sam when the wall broke and Luci came back with a vengeance."

Castiel winced at the memory, remembering the suffering and eventual coma he went into after helping Sam.

"Hey, brother...these are good memories. At least there's that.", Gabriel placated.

Castiel rubbed his head in frustration, a habit he had picked up over the years from the eldest Winchester. "What about our daughter? What about Dean and his marriage to Y/n?"

"Eh, she's a good kid. We'll figure something out. As for 'me Tarzan, you Jane'...he might not be so keen to remember what was up between you and Y/n."

"He truly loves and cares for her", Cas murmured. "And I am certain the feelings are mutual."

Gabriel gave him a half hearted smirk, "Halvsies?", he suggested. Castiel rolled his eyes and began pacing again.

Gabriel sat down to drink a huge mocha with extra chocolate, smacking his lips in anticipation.

Castiel stopped again, "How do you know she's a good kid? I've never noticed you near her."

"Seriously, Castiel...have those morons rubbed off on you? How the hell do you think no one notices her or me? That's the whole point, isn't it? Hey what the hell?" Gabriel snapped as Cas took a photo of him with his phone. "What in the hell are you doing? Who are you sending that to?", he demanded as Castiel tapped a message in his phone.

Cas ignored him as he waited. A few minutes later he received a reply and he just stared at his phone.

Gabriel began to anxiously ask, "Who did you send that to? Surely not Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Come on, Cas?"

Castiel turned his phone around for Gabe to see the recipient and the message. It was Cas' and Y/n's daughter.

"How long have you been visiting her?", Cas demanded.

Gabriel actually blushed and stammered, "Only a few months. Ever since she left for college."

Cas glared and Gabe defended,"She's on her own. This is the first time she has lived this long outside the safety of the the bunker, I wanted to make sure she was doing ok."

"She thinks you are my estranged brother, Gabriel.", Castiel snapped irritated.

"Well, I had to figure out a story that didn't sound like a damn creeper and well, you kinda are.", Gabriel explained.

Castiel huffed and was about to argue when he received another message from her. His face softened as he read it outloud, "She says she's glad we we are talking and even though family doesn't end with blood, it's good for us to reconcile. She also says you make good chocolate cake."

Castiel rubbed his brow. "I still don't know what to do about Y/n..."

Gabriel sighed heavily, "Yeah, this sucks.....but wait before you do anything drastic. She might just dismiss it all as weird ass dreams and nothing comes of it."

Cas nodded and was dismayed when a part of him hoped she would remember it all.

\------

Y/n woke up from her nap feeling worse than when she fell asleep. Not to mention more confused. She was dismayed that she was able to remember her dream so vividly, as if it were more of a memory and not a dream. But that can't be right...she and Cas had never....

Her breathing became harsh and her heart began to race as she forced herself to really think...to really think about all the dreams she had been having lately. These were not like normal dreams, they seemed so real, not losing clarity and becoming foggy like most dreams over time...was she truly going crazy? After all these years of living this life had her mind finally broke?

Y/n covered her face with her hands and tried to make sense of the bitter sadness and deep longing she felt when she thought of Castiel. She loved Dean, so what in the hell was going on?

\-----------

Sam found her sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee as he came in to grab a quick snack. He had been doing some research concerning the job Dean was reconning and therefore missed lunch.

"Hey, y/n...how are you feeling?", he asked pouring himself a cup before sitting down across from her.

"Fine...I think?", she answered running her finger around the rim of her mug.

"Yeah, that sounds convincing," Sam gave a small smile as he took a sip before making an eeeww face.

"Sorry, it's a bit strong.", she apologized.

"That's an understatement, why so strong? My spoon could stand up in this, Y/n. Is there any ground coffee left?", he teased gently adding a few spoons of sugar to try and cut the bitter. He grew serious when he heard her quiet answer.

"I'm afraid to fall asleep, Sammy", she whispered, her usage of Dean's name for his brother gave him pause. She only used it in very rare times of distress. He reached out and to grasp her fidgeting hands. That was another sign of distress, her hand flailing. They would tease that to make her focus, they had to hold her hands still, all that nervous energy distracted her. If she wasn't twisting them, she was picking or biting her nails. Things were bad when her fingers would tangle up amongst themselves; Lil Bit would tell her mom that she was going to break her fingers off one day if she wasn't careful.

"Bad dreams?", he asked softly, stroking her wrists soothingly.

She nodded with jerks and he sighed asking, "Are they about her leaving?"

Y/n was too embarrassed to tell Sam the nature of the dreams and only sighed herself, "I don't know."

Sam asked,"Have you talked with Dean?" She shook her head, "Not yet." She didn't want to admit she was reluctant to reveal the nature of these dreams to her husband.

"How about asking Cas to help?", Sam asked innocently.

Y/n froze before snatching her hands away, "No...no..", she stammered, "There's no need to bother Cas about stupid dreams." She practically stumbled as she tried to get away, "I'll be fine..."

Sam frowned and watched in silence as she basically ran away. He'd give it a few days before talking with his brother and Cas. Try to figure out what in the hell was going on with her.

\-----------

Y/n stopped in the library to take steadying breaths. Her eyes roved over without really seeing the room, that is until they focused on a leather wingback chair. Her favorite place to curl up and read, especially when it wasn't for research. A rare occasion.

An image invaded...she was sitting in the chair reading and someone shook out a folded blanket before settling it across her lap. The person then sat down in front of her, long legs stretched out and head leaning back against her knee. Her hand reached out to card through dark, disheveled hair, making it even more messy before looking back at her book. This was not a dream...she could see the actual text on the page...she vividly rememebered the book but couldn't remember if she had ever finished it.

With weak legs and trembling hands, she searched the shelf until she found the particular book. There was a maker keeping place and she slowly opened the book only to reveal the page from her vision marked with a ribbon. Her hands were so cold as she picked up the ribbon...a ribbon she used to wear all the time so many long years ago on days she wasn't hunting. It had been cut, too short to wear anymore but perfect for a marker.

\--------

"Here, " she smirked pulling the ribbon from around her ponytail. She pulled out her knife and cut it in half. "A token for my knight in shining armor. You are my hero..." She slipped the other half in her book to mark her place.

The dark haired man answered, "It was a spider, Y/n. Not even a poisonous one. It was actually a good spider...."

Y/n rolled her eyes, "The only good spider is a dead spider...anyway...here...a token to wear as you go into battle."

Cas sighed deeply but he did take the ribbon and told her gravely but his eyes twinkled, "I will keep it always, m'lady."

Y/n adopted a regal face telling him, "I should hope so, I don't give those out willy nilly." Then she burst into laughter.

\---------

Y/n dropped the book still holding the ribbon, staring at it, remembering....

"What a pretty ribbon, Uncle Cas.", the six year old said approvingly of the delicate piece of silk. "Can I wear it?"

Y/n was fixing lunch and curious on why Cas was carrying a ribbon, paused to listen.

"Yes, Hoath Obza*, it is very pretty.", Castiel agreed seriously. Y/n smiled at his special nickname, she seriously needed to learn Enochian. "It is also very special to me and I know that you would take special care with it, except I like to keep it close."

"Why?", the little girl asked and her mother very quietly continued making sandwiches so she could listen as well. Curious about why an angel had a keepsake.

"I keep it because it helps me feel brave.", he told her gravely.

The little girl breathed an ahhhh as she squeezed her own lovey closer. Daddy had given it to her one day before he left on another long business trip with Uncle Sammy. She hated when he had to leave her and mommy. And she never did understand why everyone had laughed at his choice of stuffed animal, everyone except for Uncle Sammy. But she loved Moose very much and understood why Uncle Cas kept his ribbon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness! So..what you think y'all? Fun ride through this part so far? :D  
> What is Dean going to think/do when he finds out O.O
> 
> ***the Enochian phrase Cas calls his daughter means love one****


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean confronts reader concerning her anxiety

Dean began to notice her anxiety and jumpiness. At first, he was inclined to attribute it to their daughter being gone and out from under their protection but soon he realized it was more than that. She was avoiding both Cas and him. A very hard feat since he and y/n shared a bed.

"Okay, sweetheart...spill.", he confronted her with his characteristic tact. Dean had followed her into the library and watched Y/n as she searched book titles that she already had read only to start the action over again a few minutes later. Running her finger idly along the spines without really seeing, pulling a random book out only to place it back on the shelf.

"Wha?", she feigned innocence but she knew what he was talking about. At least about her being upset. Eighteen years of marriage, you learn the other's mannerisms. Tack on the years before and she would be surprised if he couldn't read her mind. Y/n stood picking at a loose thread on the flannel she was wearing, one of his old ones, half the buttons were gone and hems were unraveling.

Dean made a face at her and Y/n sighed sitting down at the table closest to her, covering her eyes with her hands. Dean waited somewhat patiently. His fingers twitched in impatience but he kept his body hunter still, eyes trained on her, unblinking, watching. Unconsciously he had a hand poised by his belt as if in ready to pull a weapon, ready to fight whatever was causing her pain.

"I've been having weird dreams.," she sighed heavily again. Dean sat down as well and looked at her with concern. Ever since Sam had damn visions all those many years ago, he didn't take strange dreams lightly. His anxiety level went up a notch because Sam's had ended up being something more sinister.

"They're just dreams, Dean.", she muttered. She knew exactly where his thoughts had turned, she too knew him as well as he did her.

"Dreams that are freaking the hell out of my wife. Tell me.", he gave no quarter. No sense in not taking the damn bull by the horns. He was still tense and coiled as if preparing to fight.

"You remember the case we were working on...back when we first found out we were going to have her?", Y/n asked, her fingers running along the grain of the wooden table.

Dean's face softened at the memory, "Have the dreams been about her?" Okay, this is fine, dreams as a result from her worry. We can deal with this.

"Yes...no...after that case....my memories after that case are clear and all my memories from years before are clear... at least up until a certain time.....but....", she trailed off. Dean looked at her closely.

"Do you have a time frame when everything gets wonky? Do you have an idea of when?", he asked taking her hands to keep her from picking at her nails nervously. Y/n sat in silence for a few minutes, chewing her lip, looking at his hands holding hers.

Calloused and rough, she had seen those hands be oh so gentle over the years, even though she knew those hands could inflict pain, even death. She looked up at his face, concern for her was causing a wrinkle to form between his brows and making his green eyes dark. Then without provocation another set of eyes, full of concern for her invaded her memory, but these eyes were blue and bright.

"Yeah, to the day.....it was the day I met Castiel.", she whispered, not looking away from his careful study of her face.

\--------

Dean maked a huh noise and let go of her hands to sit back in his chair to think. She missed the contact immediately. And she just as quickly began picking at her nails again nervously. Her nails were in danger of bleeding from her anxious attention, she had already chewed most of them to the quick.

"And it's not that I have blank spaces, it's like....another memory is trying to bleed through. Like when you have a page on top of another page and the top paper is just thin enough that you can just barely make out that something is underneath, something important. For the most part, everything is similar...lines up on each other almost perfectly.....but other times....just enough bleeds through to know something is off.", she explained. She began chewing on the edge of her thumb nail.

"Give me an example.", he asked staring intently at the floor. Let's keep this objective, approach it like any other case...

"Um, well...hunts that we've been on...where my memory has been mostly of you, Sam and me with an occasional appearance of Cas...all except for two. That's when I can't make out what actually happened. The shapeshifter job in Arkansas and the missing person's case right before she was born.", she told him.

Dean nodded and motioned with his hand to elaborate. So far...objective..ish

"So...anyway...the hunt in Arkansas I have the memory of you carrying me to the Impala...then being in the hospital. But, when I think hard, I have images of Cas leaning over me, screaming...very uncharacteristic of him and a bright white light.", she continued. Her other thumb nail made its journey to her mouth.

Dean's face hardened, on this particular hunt she had almost died and he tried not to think about that one at all. Objectivity was getting harder to hold on to.

"And then, the missing persons case...I keep dreaming that I was shot..but that just doesn't fit the case, how they just showed up at their homes with no memory of what had happened, so it ended up not even being a job...", she trailed off and then whispered, "But that's not all..."

Dean looked at her sharply and she covered her face with her hands. "All of our times....um..together -together....all I remember is..you. And there's only one memory of before her and that one is dodgy."

"Okay..."

"It's you....and me...and we're...you know...", she stammered, a blush creeped up on her cheeks. There was no hope for her fingernails now, ragged and bleeding cuticles, a testimony of her extreme anxiety.

"We've been married eighteen years...I know what we do...keep going.", his voice was all professional.

"Except...images of Cas keep coming through...", she murmured embarrassed.

"What the hell?", Dean muttered, " Images of Cas doing what?"

Y/n arched an eyebrow and the blush deepened.

"Son of a bitch....CAS!", Dean yelled. Objectively just jumped off the cliff and died a very tragic death.

'Dean! No! It's bad enough I told you...", Y/n exclaimed standing up in a panic, embarrassment flooding her whole being. She began tangling her hands up together in worry.

Castiel appeared and was immediately by Y/n's side, picking up on her anxiety. "What's wrong? You're distressed... If you're worried about her, she's fine...what is it?" He was almost babbling, he grabbed her hands to keep her from wringing them.

Dean fought back the jealous urge to pull her from his side and lay claim to her but this was Cas. He had never once indicated he was even remotely interested that way in Y/n.

"Y/n has been having bad dreams," Dean began but Cas ignored him...what the hell, he wasn't even looking at him. Dean's jaw clenched so hard, his teeth almost shattered.

Y/n refused to comply when Castiel softly commanded her to look at him. Cas let go of her hands to gently frame her face and turn it towards him, "What is wrong, Y/n?"

"I...it's nothing...", she tried to pull away but Dean snapped angrily, "She's having dreams...about you."

Cas still didn't look at Dean but gazed intently at Y/n. She glanced up and blushed.

Castiel's chest tightened in both anticipation and fear.

"You remember?", he whispered and with a sob she nodded, "I think so..."

"Remember what?!", Dean demanded, he took a step towards them.

"Could you give us a moment, Dean?", Castiel, not so much as asked as commanded, his eyes never leaving Y/n's face.

"She's my wife.", Dean said folding his arms not going to budge. Oh, hell no...

"Just five minutes, Dean. Please." Y/n looked at him, Cas was still ignoring him.

Dammit, he could never resist her asking please...or her damn pleading eyes. Sammy had nothing on her and their daughter was ten times the pro. He rubbed his face vigorously with both his hands and then his hair. He felt tired.

"Son of a bitch..." He huffed but left going into the library. Where he picked up a picture of his daughter. She was around three years old looking at something beyond the camera. The wind had caught her dark hair, lifting the strands , the light catching in her blue eyes, causing them to stand out so beautifully. And the tilt of her head, indicating her curiosity at what she saw...the tilt...

Dean pressed the picture to his chest and sat down in a chair. She was his...they were both his...

He clutched his head with one hand as he held the picture tightly, fighting against what he had always seemed to know.

\---------

Castiel looked at her and asked gently, "What do you remember?"

"Not much right now...just bits and pieces....more each day though...but how could I forget this?", she cried against his chest when he pulled her close as tears dropped from her chin. "Shhh...", the soothing noise rumbled.

"But, Dean...Dean is my husband...", she murmured and then saying scandalized pushing away, "Dean is my husband!"

"I know and he will remain so...", Castiel told her calmly, letting his arms fall loosely by his sides.

"Why? Why do this?" she wrapped her arms around her waist, stepping back from him.

"To protect her. To protect you.", he said simply.

Understanding crashed down, "Eighteen years...eighteen years you have known....where's Dean? I need to find Dean..." She asked frantically looking around.

"He's in the library.", Castiel told her.

"Does he know?!", she demanded.

Cas stood impassively as if thinking then said, "He...suspects."

Y/n stumbled back and the started forwards the library. Castiel made to follow.

"No. You will not follow me. Please. This is between me and my husband.", she told him without looking at him. Her shoulders were hunched and her arms were wrapped tightly around herself. It took everything to keep from wrapping his own arms around her.

"I'll be here.", he told her gently and she nodded, her back to him. As she walked away, she lifted a thumbnail to her mouth and was startled to realize Cas had healed her ragged and bleeding nails when he had held her hands earlier. She lowered her hand and tucked her arms under her elbows in an effort not undo what he had done for her.

Y/n found Dean sitting slump shouldered at a table, looking dejectedly at a framed photo of their daughter. Except she wasn't, was she...oh what was going on?

Y/n sat on the arm of the chair and gently took the picture from him. She studied the framed photograph, one Sam had taken years ago. Now that she allowed herself to really look, she could see him. But...

"You rememeber when she was three and fell running in the garage? Right after this photo was taken, I think. She wanted to help Sam clean up after tuning up his car."

Dean grunted but didn't answer verbally.

"She cried and cried. Even her beloved Uncle Sammy couldn't get her to stop even after bandaging and the promise of cartoons on his TV after. All she kept asking for was her daddy and once you picked her up. She was fine.", Y/n told him.

Dean didn't respond and Y/n continued, "You taught her to drive...in Baby."

"What are you doing, Y/n?", he muttered bitterly.

"She gets her sense of humor from you...Three Stooges, really? And she loves pie..."

Dean huffed and tried to get up but Y/n pushed him back into his seat and slid into his lap.

"She is our daughter...regardless of how it came about, Dean." Y/n whispered.

"She gets her love of outdoors from you...and those crappy chick flicks.", he murmured. Y/n's eyes twinkled, "And her love of physical exercise and academia from her Uncle Sam."

Dean sighed looking at the photo, "And her curiosity and sense of wonder from..."

"Her uncle Cas...her father.", Y/n finished stroking his cheek. Dean leaned into it.

"Until she asks questions on her own...", Y/n murmured.

Dean pressed his face in her neck and kissed her. A moment later she heard the muffled question, "What in the hell do you have against the Stooges...they're freakin' hilarious."

A moment later, Dean leaned back and asked the obvious question.

"So...what about Cas...and you...and ....stuff."

Y/n sat very still and knowing the next words were going to cut deep, whispered, "I love him." Dean took a deep breath and made as if to get up.

"And I love you.", she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight, keeping him from doing so.

After a moment he wrapped his own arms around her, eighteen years of reflex was hard to ignore, and whispered, "Then I guess we better figure out what in the hell is going on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one seemed a bit harder to write, I'm not sure why.   
> Let me know what you think


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew...here is the next installment...trying for some balance  
> Let me know how it works :) :)

Y/n had been inclined to throw Castiel out of her room just as ruthlessly as she had Dean when he just appeared. She had jerked back in surprise seeing him suddenly standing just right inside her door. Y/n had not yet remembered the other times, so so long ago when he would do the exactly same thing but her response then had been very different.

Tonight, her hand had immediately moved to a knife that wasn't there. His reaction to hers looked so pitiful that she could only pat the bed beside her in invitation. She plumped up the pillows she had not graciously " given" to Dean and leaned back against the headboard watching him as he hesitated before toeing off his shoes. It had been many years since he had lain down in a bed.

It was as if he were mentally going through the steps, shoes off, check, overcoat draped at the foot of the bed, check... She watched in silence as he rolled up his sleeves to just below his elbows. She marveled at the arms that had held her, those hands that had...she shook her head sharply to dispel any more thoughts and he settled down beside her. Y/n reached over and loosened his tie, patting it against his chest in satisfaction before leaning back to her place a few inches from him, close but not touching.

Finally, Y/n whispered, "How were you able to live this way? Seeing us almost everyday...not being able to claim her as yours? Watching Dean and I live as husband and wife." She couldn't bring herself to look at his face, not yet...but she looked at his socked feet, casually crossed at the ankles. Gaze traveled up his legs clad in the so familiar suit, to his stomach where one hand rested lightly the other hand between them, palm up but still. It would have been so easy to hold it...just to a few inches to her left...her pinky even twitched slightly in anticipation but....her hand, her arm felt like they were made of marble instead of flesh and bone. The few inches could have been yards at her inability, at her fear, of placing her hand in his.

To have another man in the bed she had shared with Dean for almost twenty years weighed her down, the feeling of familiarity woven in with the forgotten, the sense of forbidden....

Cas remained quiet for a long time, for so long that Y/n had to stifle a yawn as her eyes grew heavy.

"Knowing you were safe, protected....loved...it was enough...", he finally told her, truthfully. He had examined every part of the past eighteen years and discovered for all the pain, he wouldn't change anything. Yet, he didn't think too long on where he was. Her marriage bed. A bed she had been sharing with his best friend as a result of his own decisions. If he had need for breath, it would have become harsh and ragged, if he had need of a heartbeat it would have raced and stuttered in turn with the thought of where he lay....as an imposter of sorts, this place not his but created by him for another man, for her and his daughter, to protect them. He stared a bit too hard at the ceiling, his profile stark.

Y/n nodded, not quite sure if she believed him but chose to trust him. Another yawn practically unhinged her jaw. Castiel smiled gently, the action softening his usually stoic expression, "You need to rest...this has kept for eighteen years, another eight hours won't cause harm." She nodded again and y/n started to snuggle down, seemly at peace with Castiel staying the night, but then froze.

Slowly, y/n got up and went to her closet. She stood there silently for a moment before crawling in the back. Finally, she pulled out a cardboard box. Placing in on the floor by the bed, she pushed a few items out of the way before her breath caught and she pulled out an old pair of sweatpants. Surprised at the fact they were relatively dust free and only smelt slightly musty, she crawled back onto the bed before handing them to Castiel.

"I think these belong to you....your belt buckle pokes me when we sleep.", and she proceeded to burst into tears, "I knew these weren't Dean's but I couldn't throw them away...I never could figure out why until now."

Castiel pulled her into his arms as she cried eighteen years of lost time away.

"Olani oai emna, olani gemeganza paid naomsi emna....shhhh....", he whispered as he held her. And although her tears were heartbreaking, his heart couldn't help but sing at being able to hold her, comfort her. "Olani oai emna...."

\-------

Dean woke up stiff and sore, having chosen to sleep in the backseat of Baby. It had been several years since he had done so and he realized with a grimace he wasn't as young as he had been then. Groaning, he pushed the door open with his foot and slid to the end of the back seat only to be confronted by Y/n. She was barefooted, the state of her hair indicating having only been awake for just a little while, she was beautiful.... and she was holding a cup of hot coffee. By reflex, Dean put his arm up to shield his face and her lips twisted as she tried not to laugh, "I'm not going to throw this....consider it a peace offering."

Cautiously he reached up to take it from her but instead of drinking it, he rested his elbows on his knees and lowered his head to look despondently at the black brew.

"I don't know what to do, Y/n....I really don't. I don't want to be a jackass and forbid you from ever seeing Cas...being with him....but I also don't want to let you go...I....love you." Y/n could count on two hands all the times he had ever said those words in the years they were together, he had a hard time saying them vocally, being more apt to show it, so she treasured them and they always sounded sweet to her ears.

Y/n reached out and carded her fingers gently through his hair, "We'll figure something out...." She tapped the edge of her barefoot against his, "We will..." Dean reached up, took her hand and pulling it down kissed it before holding it to his cheek.

"Yeah...", he muttered.

\------

They were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast together. A familiar routine, a safe tradition.

"So...Cas and I were talking last night....", Y/n began.

Dean stared at her before muttering, "Is that code for something?" He fought a wave of jealousy that Cas had been with her while he had tried to sleep in the damn car.

"Dammit, Dean...we were talking!! Just because we had...have...a whatever it is we have...it doesn't mean I'm going to jump right back into bed with him the first chance I get." Although Y/n blushed slightly because as they had talked, she had been unable to keep her thoughts from straying in that direction. And she had actually been in bed with him, granted she had only slept, but he had been there.

"Fine...what about?", Dean mumbled around his eggs, stabbing the next bite bit more aggressively than necessary. He chewed it savagely staring at her.

Y/n couldn't help but feel a thrill of something, knowing that all these years later, Dean Winchester ladies man extraordinare in the past was choosing to stay with her. In her eyes, he looked just as he had so many years ago, why would he stay with her...regardless of the years shared. Things did not look the same with her...childbirth and age had left their marks. Now, even more than that, she marveled at his commitment to her.

"Our...situation....what we could do about it...agreeing that this is just one fantastic mess.", she told him.

Dean only grunted in agreement as he drank the rest of his coffee. He sat for a moment in silence.

"Why don't you go visit her? Sam and I found a job....maybe you...and he...could go together?", Dean suggested.

Y/n stared at hm and he began justifying the suggestion, "It'll take a couple of days to drive there...safely, " he stressed the word knowing that the trip could be done in one day without stopping, "give you time to...I don't....you know...dammit, Y/n, just do it. That way I don't have to witness any of it....it's bad enough with just my imagination." He looked everywhere in the kitchen except at her.

It was where his mind went that was killing him. The thought of anyone, any other man, looking at her, touching her, the ways that had been his exclusively for all these years. The idea that Cas had done all these things before he had, mapping her body with his hands, his mouth...shit..shit...

He pushed away from the table roughly, going for another cup of coffee, wishing it were whisky instead.

"Do you think she'll mind a visit?", Y/n asked and he stopped in surprise at her fearfulness.

"Hell, no...you're her mom. She's been asking for us to both come out. We'll go together another time.", Dean told her, finally letting his gaze rest on her face.

"What if he says no.", Y/n said more softly,

Dean laughed bitterly, "Trust me...he won't say no." He would stab the son of a bitch if he dare hurt her.

\----------

For some reason, Y/n felt very jittery talking with her daughter about the trip. Castiel had enthusiastically agreed to accompany her and now she was making the plans with her daughter...their daughter.

"So...yeah...dad and Uncle Sam have to work so Cas is going to ride out with me...keep me company.", she smiled shyly at him and he grinned back as he reached out to take her hand in his.

"Yeah...we'll probably leave at first light and stay over in a motel half way or so. Yeah....your dad doesn't want me driving in the dark....ha...he also doesn't want me letting Cas drive but he didn't want me coming alone.....no, no...everything's fine, dad wants come out with me again later, he's just a bit busy right now and told me I was being too mopey without you...okay..I'll text when we leave...love you sweetie," Castiel raised his eyebrows and Y/n added, "Cas sends his love as well" and she was rewarded with a sweet smile. "Stay safe."

Y/n looked at Cas and smiled a bit nervously, "Well, I guess all that's left to do is pack. So...I think I'll go pack." He released her hand and she twirled lightly on the balls of her feet, heading to her room.

Dean came in from the kitchen, beer in hand. "So, how's the kiddo?"

"Y/n says she's doing fine and is excited about our visit.", Castiel told him with a small smile.

"You didn't talk with her?", Dean questioned nonchalantly, although there was weight behind the question.

"No, it was Y/n's phone call, although she did ask to talk to you. Y/n wasn't aware you were home.", Castiel informed him.

"Yeah, I've been home.", Dean took a long pull from his beer.

"Then you should have spoken with her...she misses her father," Cas told him as Dean avoided his gaze.

"Yeah...", Dean muttered before taking another sip.

"Drawing away from her isn't going to help this situation, it will only make it worse. You are the father she knows and loves. Don't abandon her.", Castiel advised him before leaving the library.

"Yeah," was all Dean said in response but once Cas was out of sight, he pulled out his cellphone.

"Hey, sweetheart....how are you? I'm sorry I missed you earlier but I can talk now..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' Enochian phrase "I am here, I will always be here
> 
> Dean's gif makes me giggle XD


	22. Chapter 22

Tears pricked Y/n's eyes and they burned with the effort of trying not to cry, knowing Dean would loudly deem it a chic flick moment, mostly to hide that the fact that her tears were always his undoing. Yet when he handed her the keys to Baby for her trip to visit their daughter, it took every ounce of her willpower to keep from bawling like a four year. She sniffed and pretended to pick imaginary fuzz off his shirt. "Alright, then..." She couldn't even look him in the face, god she was such a baby.

Dean could tell by the way she held herself rigid and tense that she was trying very hard to hold it together and he almost was able to leave with a quick ok, tell the kid I love her, see you when you get back but at the last minute he pulled her into a hard embrace. The action broke the fragile hold on her control and the front of his shirt became damp very quickly.  
Sam coughed, indicating they needed to leave.

  
"Okay, sweetheart...I gotta go...stay safe....", Dean said gruffly pulling back and Y/n stood watching Sam's truck pull away, Dean looking strange sitting shotgun. She already could hear the glee in Sam's voice as he would inevitably tell his brother driver chooses the music and then proceed to play a soundtrack from a horrible musical just to piss his brother off.

A few moments later, Castiel cleared his throat and Y/n looked over to see him hold two duffles with clothes for the next few days.

"Are you ready?", he asked a bit shyly. She smiled through the last of her tears at him and nodded. After stowing the bags in the trunk, Y/n slid behind the wheel while Cas climbed into the passenger seat.

Once they were on the road, she hesitated on ejecting the cassette that was playing AC/DC, leftover from the last time Dean had driven the car to town on a supply run the other day.  
"Leave it," Cas instructed her, "Anything else would sound...strange in here." She grinned in agreement and he smiled as she belted out songs that had practically defined every car ride for close to forty years or more.

A few more miles down the road, Castiel placed his hand on the seat between them, palm up. When she caught sight of it, he waggled his fingers just as he would do so many years ago and gave her a grin. Without hesitation she grasped his hand, holding it tight. The miles melted away and it felt like they reached the halfway point way too soon.

Y/n sent a quick text letting Dean know they were there and safe and she received a short ok in reply. A few minutes later though she received a heart emoji which made her smile and then a text from Sam telling her that Dean was insisting it had been sent by accident, which made her laugh outright. She could imagine the bitch jerk exchange and her heart ached just a bit at missing it.  
Cas stood patiently outside her door as she completed the message and she accompanied Castiel into the motel office to check in. He held the door open for her politely, giving a little bow that made her grin. The lady at the desk was friendly and chatty.

"So what brings you two lovely folks to our parts.", she asked smiling as Castiel signed in as Mr. Jimmy Bono.

Y/n beat him to the answer, "We are visiting our daughter in college."

"Oh how nice! Is she your oldest?", the lady inquired, waiting for Castiel to write down the tag number on the Impala. A "new" one for this trip, it's original owner broken down and rusting somewhere in a West Virginian salvage yard. Sam had picked it up on one of their last jobs.

"Our only.", Y/n answered and Cas smiled as he continued to fill out the paper work. The lady smiled also and told them about her own son attending the local community college. Majoring in business, wants to take over the motel. Keep the business it in the family. And was she following anyone in the family with her pursuit of a degree?  
Both Castiel and Y/n responded with a sharp, "No!"  
"What is she majoring in?"the lady inquired curiously, interested now piqued at what her family actually did.  
"Pre-med.", Castiel stated proudly handing her the paperwork with his fake credit card.  
"Ah, a doctor! But what do you do that you don't want her following in your footsteps?", she asked bluntly.  
Castiel gave her a blank stare and Y/n quickly answered, "He's with the..um..government." The woman nodded encouragingly.  
"The ..uh...IRS?...", she continued weakly.  
Cas shot her a look before telling the woman, "I hate it. Boring stuff...numbers...and stuff..."  
The woman nodded handing him the keys, "Have a good night, Mr and Mrs Bono." She pronounced it Bowno to which Y/n grimaced but Cas only murmured "Yes, Thank you", as he led Y/n out the door and down to their assigned room.  
"IRS?", he muttered, holding her elbow as they walked. "Couldn't you think of something....more..."  
"More what?", she giggled, "Sexy?" He opened the door and nudged her in, closing the door firmly behind them.  
"Well...yes...FBI..I have portrayed an agent on occasion.", he pouted.  
She grinned taking his tie in her hands and pulled him closer.  
"Oh...I think the IRS is sexy...all those numbers...", she purred, a bit over the top.  
He glared still not placated, "You hate math, Y/n", he said flatly, a bit put out by her teasing.  
"But I like....smart men...you're a smart man.", she began unknotting his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.  
He cleared his voice before asking, "Is that so?" Not quite relenting to her, not just yet, eyes hooded as he looked down at her.  
"Yes, a very smart man....who knows when to stop talking and kiss me..."  
\-------

The next morning, the motel manager apologized profusely, "I am so, sorry about the electricity. I have the electrician coming. Is it okay if I run your credit card information later. I can call you when it's back on."

"That's okay," Y/n told her smiling as Castiel agreed, "Yes, that's fine. Was there a storm, because if so, we slept right through it." It was quick but Y/n caught the wink he aimed at her.

She blushed and he bustled her out the door with the lady's words ringing in their ears, "No! The electrician said it was the weirdest thing, the entire power grid for this part of the county blew last night. He also said he thinks the county over was effected as well. Possibly terrorists!"

Once in the car, it took a few minutes to find a radio station but once she did the news was on. She about to to push in a cassette when the newscaster caused her to whoop with laughter.

"Authorities are now ruling out terrorist activity concerning three counties losing power simutaniously . They are now considering it to be faulty engineering." Castiel looked out the window, embarrassment evident on his face.

Y/n reached out and placed her hand on his leg. "Hey, it's okay." He could hear the teasing in her voice and lifted a brow, waiting, "Most men your age have a completely different problem...." Tears rolled down her cheeks at the effort of not bursting into laughter. Cas stared at her before he huffed and folded his arms, "My age spans millennia, it wouldn't be a factor....besides you weren't complaining last night.", he muttered looking out the window.

Y/n bit her cheek to keep from snickering and realized that men were no different, regardless if they were immortal or human, they could be easily offended concerning criticism about their sexual prowess.

She poked his shoulder with her forefinger, eyes still on the road. "Hey...I was kidding..." He didn't speak but when she glanced over she was rewarded with a small smirk, showing he wasn't upset, merely teasing her. "Gah...", she muttered pushing his shoulder but smiling.

He took her hand before she could place it back on the wheel. It wasn't long before they were pulling up to the condo where their daughter was living.

\-----------

She heard the familiar rumble of her dad's car before she saw it. Squealing she jumped to look out her window on the second floor of the townhouse she shared with two other girls.

"I wish I had the same reaction when I come, sugar", the man behind her smirked.

"Shut up, jerk!", she grinned looking back. Her roommate appeared, "Hey, I think your parents are here!"

"Nah, just my mom and uncle. Dad had to work", she correctly cheerfully. Her roommate gave her an odd look and shrugged as she left. Her family wasn't her concern.

Looking back out before heading down, she exclaimed, "What the hell?"

The man came over and peered over her shoulder, "Son of a bitch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we have some fluff here, I think...I can't trust my own judgement sometimes ;)  
> What do y'all think?


	23. Chapter 23

Y/n got of the car and joined Cas on the sidewalk outside of the condo. He held out his hand which she took, intending to hold only for a second but pulled her close into an embrace.  
"What if she sees?, Y/n murmured trying to pull away, he only held her tighter, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.  
"Then she sees.", Castiel stated, "It's just a hug."  
\-------  
The young woman looked down in disbelief while her companion asked a supposedly innocent question, "I thought Cas was your honorary uncle or something like that...what gives with the PDA?"  
"I...I...don't know.", the young woman was shaken by the scene below her. Other than quick hugs from her Uncle Sam she had never seen her mother embraced by another man other than her father. Until this moment all the interaction between Cas and her mom had been awkward at best. This...this was...intimate....she felt like an intruder on something private. Very similar to the rare times she would catch her dad holding her mom, not the playful hugs and teasing in front of family, but intimate, just between them.  
"Excuse me...", she murmured before going down to confront them.  
When she reached the sidewalk, the embrace was over and her mother was standing eagerly waiting for her to greet them. The girl could see the instant change on her mother's face when she saw her daughter's expression. Confusion, hurt...the girl fought down any inclination to feel compassion and held on to the sense of betrayal.  
"How could you?", she hissed but the question was not directed at her mother but at the man standing beside her.  
Castiel gave her his own look of confusion, but his slight motion of placing his hand on her mother's arm protectively was not lost on her. He was unconsciously preparing to pull her behind him. Y/n tried to intervene, "What's wrong?"  
The girl shook her head, ignoring her mother, "He's your best friend...." She took another step and he shifted his weight so that he did indeed place himself in direct fire of her anger.  
"I don't understand; what is wrong," Cas asked the angry young woman standing in front of him, her hands balled into fists looking very much like Dean at the moment, the man she was furious on behalf of.  
"You...with mom...", she snapped.  
Her mom tried again, "Please, tell me what is wrong?"  
The girl looked at her mother, "The hug, mom.....it was ..." The girl's ire began to weaken when she realized how hard it was going to be to explain what she saw because yes, it had been just a hug...but seemed so much more.  
"It....he", the girl was at loss, feeling suddenly young and confused. "He looked...."  
She was interrupted by her companion, "What a touching family reunion, positively too sweet for words."  
"What are you doing here?", Y/n snapped, this time Castiel did push Y/n behind him, hand flexing, a silver blade falling into his hand.

  
"Gabriel," Castiel practically growled to which the archangel only smirked and bowed.

  
\----------  
The four stood tense and silent until Gabe suggested, "Why don't we go inside?"  
Y/n glared at him and her eyes raked over his appearance. Button up pulled over a t-shirt, jeans, barefoot. He looked too casual for her comfort. Seeing her inspection, he stepped close to her daughter and slung an arm over her shoulder, "Come on, sugar. Let's play nice."  
Y/n could feel Castiel tense up beside her and her palm itched to slap that smug look off his face. Castiel hid the blade behind his back, glaring at Gabriel.  
Her daughter rolled her eyes and shrugged his arm off, "Get off it, Gabe. Quit being a creep." The girl shifted her feet before saying, "I guess you should come in since you are here." She turned away and went inside without looking back. Gabe gave another smirk before following her.  
Y/n took a deep breath and Castiel straightened his shoulders as if going into battle. He shifted the blade back into its hiding place, both of them surprised that it had not been seen.  
They followed behind the angry girl and infuriating archangel.  
"Tea?", the question was barely civil.  
"Yes, please." Y/n responded and followed her into the small kitchen. Y/n chose to plow ahead.  
"What did you see that was so awful?" Y/n asked as the girl placed the kettle on.  
The girl froze and bristled. "He looked...happy."  
Y/n snorted a laugh. "You're angry because we hugged and he looked happy?"  
With a sign, she turned saying, "Uncle Cas is never happy, not like that. I never thought..." She trailed off.  
Y/n pressed, "What...you never thought what?"  
"That it was actually true!", the girl exploded. "I always wondered...how strange it was, he always on the peripheral and no family of his own. But now I understand....that it was true."  
"Understand what?", y/n whispered.  
"He's in love with you, mom! He has been for so long...I used to romanticize it when I was younger...the tragic lover separated from the one he loves because she was with another. But that was the foolish daydreams of a kid, I never realized the one he loved was you. You are the reason he kept coming back."  
Y/n sat down weakly confronted with the reality of what had been happening all those years, her daughter witness to the effects it had on Castiel while she had lived in blissful ignorance.  
\-------  
Castiel was standing stiff and glaring at Gabriel who just sat, relaxed on the couch, bare feet propped on a table, smirking at the furious man. The other girl who lived in the apartment stuck her head in the door, "Would you like something to drink? Get your feet off the table, Gabe. Geeze how many times do we have to tell you?"  
Cas turned to face her and answered for Gabriel, "Thank you, she is in the kitchen preparing tea." The room mate grinned answering,"You're welcome. Gosh, she looks so much like you. Are you her uncle from her dad's side or is her mom your sister?"  
Castiel froze while Gabriel cackled, "Oh definitely from the dad's side, cupcake. More than you think."

  
Cas glared at him but the girl just shrugged like she was use to his crazy.  
"I'll go see what's holding them up.", she smiled as she left.  
"What was that?", Castiel hissed stepping closer to Gabriel, anger at his hinting of her parentage.  
"Oh, brother....she's not stupid, which doesn't seem to come from her dad-either of them. The smarts come from her mom, I wager. It wouldn't take much for her to figure things out if it weren't for my, shall we say, assistance. But daaaaamn, Cassie....public displays like that? Anyone could see it."  
"It was a hug, that's all", Cas defended.  
"Ha, yeah right, except your face was screaming that it was something more. By our father, Castiel , even a blind man could see how you feel about her. Dammit, you were always a fool when it came to Y/n. If you had just walked away, never looking back, it would have been better." Gabriel snapped, irritated at Castiel.

  
She came in carrying the tea things, "What would have been better?" The girl thumped the tray down and folded her arms glaring at Gabriel. Y/n followed behind carrying a decadent strawberry cake.  
"That I should have brought chocolate cake, sugar.", Gabriel was all smiles. She saw right through him.  
"Right...are you two getting along?", she inquired while Y/n only looked confused.  
Gabriel stood and stretched before dropping a kiss on her forehead, "Of course, being as sweet as candy. I think I'll make like a tree...got things to do." Only Castiel and Y/n seem to notice that he was no longer standing barefoot but had on shoes no one saw him put on.  
He put his hand out to Cas, who hesitantly put his out as if to shake it but Gabe slapped him five. Then he turned to loop his arm around Y/n shoulder and pulled her close, whispering in her ear, "When you get tired of this try hard and that knuckle dragger, look me up."  
No one else heard him but by the look on her face, Castiel knew it had been offensive and muttered, "Gabriel..." advancing towards him. Gabriel removed his arm and held up his hands, "Hey! Hey! We're cool!" He turned to leave but smacked Y/n on the bottom causing her daughter to yelp, "Come on Gabe! That's my mom!" His parting words made Castiel see red.  
"That's why you're so hot! Definitely get that from your momma!"  
Y/n turned shocked eyes at her daughter and Castiel just glared waiting for the answer when Y/n demanded, "Are you dating him?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...who tells Dean that Gabriel is sniffing around his baby girl...oops   
> ;)


	24. Chapter 24

The girl crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "What if I am?"  
Castiel exploded, eyes flashing. It took everything in him not exhibit his true power because of his anger.  
"Of all people in the world, you chose him?! What are you thinking?" He grated through clenched teeth.  
"What does it matter to you? The problem with Gabriel is between you and Gabriel.", she snapped, her own eyes flashing.  
"He cannot be trusted.", Cas hissed.  
She laughed bitterly, "You would know about mistrust...." Her eyes slid over to her mother. Castiel fumed, "There is more to him than what you can see."  
"That applies to more than Gabriel, Cas.", she sneered and he was struck by her not using Uncle, but he didn't let it deter him.  
"You cannot date Gabriel.", Castiel said firmly his countenance dark and foreboding, his anger making him look taller and commanding, a testimony to his time commanding forces in battle.  
She just looked at him and said simply, "You are not my father."  
The effect was immediate. His shoulders slumped and instead of angry, he now just looked sad.

  
Y/n could only sit there heartbroken, not able to defend him. They had already determined not to reveal their secret to her for as long as they were able.  
Instead, she said, "Dean would agree with Castiel." Y/n made a point of using full names, not honorific titles; her daughter just huffed and rolled her eyes.  
"Why? What is so wrong with him?", the girl demanded. Y/n pinched her nose, at a loss what to tell her. She really didn't know how to answer the question without compromising their secret life.  
"It's complicated.", Castiel muttered. "A long story."  
The girl sat down and pertly crossed her ankles, resting her crossed wrists on her knees, "I've time." The sarcasm was thick.  
Cas glared at her and then at Y/n, "She gets that from you.", he muttered.  
"No, that's Sam.", Y/n arched an eyebrow marveling how this young woman had grown up and was now exhibiting attributes from all the adults who helped raise her. The girl flipped her hand dismissing the side remarks.  
"Tell me why I should have nothing to do with Gabriel.", she demanded.  
Y/n and Castiel looked at each other, both at a loss. Finally Castiel reluctantly told Y/n, "I think we need to call Dean and Sam."  
The girl began to feel a bit of foreboding at the look on Y/n's face when it was suggested they call her father and his brother. Y/n began twisting her hands. This could be bad.  
"We should wait till they get here, before we explain that it involves Gabriel.", Y/n said slowly. Cas nodded in agreement. "That would be wise."  
The girl swallowed hard, her bravado at standing against her mother and uncle fading at the prospect of facing Dean.  
\---------  
After several minutes of convincing Dean that their meeting with Y/n and Cas could wait until they wrapped up their current job, it had been decided they would meet in two days time to discuss some things. He was beyond angry that Y/n refused to talk about it over the phone and Sam had a hard time keeping him on task.  
"My god, Sam. What if it's drugs?"Dean looked anxious. Sam had laughed and said, "We'd have to worry more about a boy than her taking drugs or drinking, Dean." And could have immediately shot himself in the foot when Dean yelled, "Oh god....she's pregnant! I'll kill the son of a bitch!"  
"Dammit, Dean! Let's finish the job. We don't know and won't know until we get there. Which we won't if you get us killed before then. Now focus!"  
They were on the road in eighteen hours, not stopping except for gas.  
\--------  
"Uncle Sammy and dad are here," the girl informed her mother and Cas when she looked out the window. The older couple looked slightly apprehensive, Castiel placing his hand reassuringly on Y/n's shoulder at the announcement. And the girl wanted to smirk, erroneously thinking the apprehension was because of Cas's supposed clandestine feelings for her mother. Fear at being found out. Well, she had ammo then if things went south concerning Gabriel. She would just mention the not so discreet display of affection from earlier. That should deflect from her for a while.  
She got ready to wave in case they looked up, oblivious to the storm that was brewing. Her raised hand dropped when she saw the look on her father's face when he stepped out of the truck. She had only seen that look on occasion, and very rarely aimed at her.  
\------  
The only time she could remember for certain was back around the first of high school and the group of friends she had been hanging out with were proving to be false, not worth her time. Her mom had seen that but she didn't want to listen. She recalled yelling at her mom, horrible, mean, untrue things in her anger. Her had voice echoed through out the bunker. Then suddenly her jaw had snapped shut as if it were a rubber band snapping back when Dean entered the room. His face and his words stuck with her.

  
"No one...no one....speaks to my wife in that manner. Do you understand me?"  
She had ran heartbroken to hide in an old storage room. That's where Sam had found her, face muddy from her tears mixing with the dust of the room.  
"Hey, Lil Bit.", he squatted down beside her, even then still towering. She had snuffled a hey.  
"Your mom asked for me to find you.", he explained and was surprised at the renewing of her tears. Even after the horrible things she had said, her mom was still concerned for her. She felt wretched.  
Y/n had sent Sam after her when he stepped into the room after hearing her yelling at Y/n and Dean's response. Dean was no where to be found. He had hidden himself away as well, feeling remorse over hurting her, but he'd be damned if he would sit back and let her say such horrible things to Y/n.  
Through her tears, she confessed to her uncle what had happened. "He looked so angry, Uncle Sammy."  
Sam sighed deeply. Looking up she saw a similar face as her dad's but to a lesser degree. She realized he too had heard all the things she had said, things she didn't mean. If only the ground could swallow her up.  
"You need to understand that first of all, he loves you very much, more than you could ever imagine, you know that right?" She nodded. "Now...increase that by tenfold and you will have an idea of how he feels about Y/n." Tears dripped from her chin.  
"I'll let your mom know you're okay. You come out when you are ready.", he assured her. She had sniffed and nodded. He left after rubbing the top of her head affectionately.  
A few minutes later she heard a rustle and wasn't surprised when her Uncle Cas sat down beside her. He always seemed to know when she was upset and she always wondered how he could find her so quickly, but that was just one more oddity that made him Uncle Cas. He didn't speak but just sat. She broke the silence.  
"You know what happend?", she whispered. She peeked over and saw him nod.  
"She made me so mad. They are my friends. Why is she so unreasonable?" she sighed, seeking an ally.  
"Yet, she is your mother.", he stated. She frowned. That wasn't quite the answer she wanted.  
"But don't you and Dad always insist family don't end in blood? What about Garth, Jody? You?"  
"You consider these friends family? Family like Jody?", he questioned, "So much so you'd risk your relationship with your mother over them?" She heard an edge in his voice. She shook her head no. He wasn't done.  
"You hurt her.", he said grimly. She sat in silence before asking, "Does daddy love her more than me? Uncle Sam said he did. How is that fair? How is that even possible?"  
Castiel sighed and shifted his weight as he sat thinking. Finally he reached out and took her hand. She turned to face him and he looked at her intently. "Your father loves your mother more than his life. It is out of that love he is able to love you beyond anything else in this world. He will protect her and subsequently you even if it means his death." She had no clue that it also applied to someone else as well as Dean.  
\-----------  
She jerked back to the present when she really looked at Dean. She was shocked again.  
"Um...mom? Why is daddy covered in blood? Mom?", she turned to see her mom chewing her thumb nail and her feeling of foreboding actually turned to little trickle of fear.  
"Momma?", she whispered.  
Her mom immediately dropped her hand and looked at her,"Hmmm?" Seeing the look on the girl's face, she said,"Everything is fine, dear" The girl's eyes immediately dropped to Y/n lip and she jumped up from the window seat.  
"Hey...um...is dad really going to be that upset about Gabriel?", the girl asked anxiously.  
She froze when a gruff voice behind her demanded, "What about Gabriel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out Gabriel! 
> 
> A great big thank you to everyone who has stuck through this far! This has been fun to write and I am surprised by out long it has become when I had only intended it to be such a little thing...it has grown into a monster!  
> Those of you who have enjoyed it, I am so glad and hopefully when this journey reaches it ends, I won't have disappointed you with the telling!


	25. Chapter 25

Castiel, Y/n and the girl froze at the harsh demand.  
"I asked 'What about Gabriel'?", Dean demanded again enunciating each word through clenched teeth, tight jaw.  
Y/n moved towards Dean but her daughter turned and confronted him head on, her trepidation making her a bit hysterically reckless.  
"He's my...friend.", she hesitated on the last word, not quite sure what to call him actually.  
Dean's face was immediately a mask, hiding his true feelings from her. Something he had never done before.  
"Oh...is that so?" Dean remarked too casually. "For how long?"  
"Dean...", Castiel said quietly bringing his attention from the girl to himself. Dean glanced up at him and Cas told him, "We are not sure about the exact nature of their ....friendship, but we intended to find out."  
"You bet like hell we are!", Dean yelled furiously, "Gabriel!!"  
"Dad, he's not here...", she said. He ignored her as he continued to yell, pacing the small room.  
"Gabriel, get your ass here right now, or so help me it will be a longer more painful death! Gabriel!"  
The girl stared at him wondering if he had truly gone off the deep end. He looked like a maniac, rage contorting his face, covered in day old blood.  
"Mom! Tell him that Gabriel is not here!", she began to beg but fell silent when she felt a woosh of air behind her and Gabriel saying, "Well if it isn't my two least favorite humans...with my sweet bestie." She felt his arm drape over her and she froze. She was facing the door. She was facing the door he would have had to come through to get back into her apartment. The door that was shut...and there wasn't a window behind her. What in the hell is going on?  
"Hello, Dean-o and Saaaaaam! Long time wish I never saw you again..."  
She jerked away from him to stare, "How did you get in here, Gabe?"  
He smirked but it seemed forced, his eyes sad. "Magic, sweetheart."  
"M..m..magic?", she stammered. Dean ignored the exchange demanding that Gabriel explain to him why he was with his daughter. Gabriel shrugged and kept silent. Dean rounded on her,"Why has he been around?"  
She blurted the first thing that came to her mind. "Cas is in love with mom."  
Dean gave her a perplexed what the hell look, the comment stalling his brain for a moment. She plowed on hoping to gain time to figure out how to explain Gabriel's presence without her father going berserk.  
"He's been in love with her for a long time. Years. I saw him hugging her outside and...and...stuff.", she trailed off at the look on Dean's face.  
She stared at her father and received an answer she didn't expect, "I know, sweetheart.", he said softly.  
"Wait.....what?", she stammered. Her world was beginning to tilt. She closed her eyes and gave her head a quick shake.  
Gabriel gave a low whistle, "A bit late to the party, huh sugar?" She glanced over and his face was indeed sad.  
Dean sighed and said, bringing her attention back to him, "We'll get back to that later. But for now...Why. Is. He. Here?" This time when Dean pointed at Gabriel it was with a silver blade that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.  
"Dad, where did that knife come from? Uncle Sam? Mom, why does dad have a knife?", she asked but she was ignored as Dean stalked up to Gabriel. Sam tensed, hand behind his back. When Dean was right up on Gabriel, her eyes bugged out to see her Uncle Sam pull a gun from his waistband.  
"Uncle Sammy?", she whispered, shocked, she had never seen him with a gun. Her dad sure, they had a firing range at home but... He held the gun with ease, trained on the smirking archangel in front of his brother. He flicked his eyes at her, his face pulled into a grim expression and gave a small shake of his head. Now was not the time. His eyes jerked back to the scene in front of him when he heard his brother speak again.

  
"Why have you been around my daughter?", Dean spoke calmly but the rage could be felt in the room, radiating from the tense set of his broad shoulders. "That wasn't part of the arrangement."  
"What arrangement?", the girl asked completely confused by what was happening.  
"Can I help it that she's just so sweet?", Gabe said smoothly, taunting. Dean raised his arm and brought it down quickly, leaving a thin gash on Gabriel's cheek.  
"DADDY!", she shrieked starting towards them. Her Uncle Sam grabbed her around the waist to keep her back.  
"Dean! Stop!", Castiel ordered.

Gabriel looked at him intently, and spoke directly in Cas 's head, "It's a little too late, don't ya think, brother. Mayhap we were foolish to think this could end any other way.....I had truly hoped..."  
"Gabriel!", Castiel internally screamed, realzing his brother angel was about to do something foolish.  
Outloud, Gabriel let the next jab fly, "I understand now why Ol' Cassie can't keep his hands off of Y/n...that sweetness runs in the family."  
Pushing Y/n behind him, Castiel advanced towards Gabriel, rage short circuiting his thinking, but Dean was closer.  
With a roar, Dean swung the blade, causing a huge gash to appear on Gabe's chest. The archangel grunted, holding his hand to the wound. He grinned smugly.  
Gabriel clicked his tongue, saying, "Now, Dean...I'm shocked that you forget so easily that you can't do anything too serious to me with that silver toothpick."  
"No, you bastard, but I can make you bleed...", Dean roared this time stabbing him full in the chest. Ignoring the screams behind him, Dean pushed his face into Gabriel's. "Stay the hell away from our daughter because I will hunt you down, I will skin you and I will cover your ass in holy oil then I will light you up. Do you understand me?"

Gabe wheezed, "And what about our little deal? Doing that makes it null and void." Gabriel looked over at Castiel and Y/n.  
"The deal's broken....you have till the count of three to get a head start before I start slicing.", Dean hissed. "I still owe you for all the shit you put us through with Y/n."  
Dean twisted the blade in Gabriel's chest and Gabriel's eyes grew wide.  
"You are remembering everything as well?", he wheezed, the knife unable to kill him but it still hurt like hell.  
"I never should have forgotten!", Dean snarled as he ripped the blade out.  
"Go...but I will hunt you and I will kill you if you come near my family again.", Dean told him.  
"No...Dean!", Y/n cried out. Gabe gave a half hearted smirk, "See ya on the flip side, cupcake."  
He looked at the girl crying behind Dean, still being restrained by Sam, the smirk dropping from his face, "I'm sorry, Limlal **" Then he was gone.  
Dean turned around only to have Y/n begin hitting him in the chest. "How could you? How? He was the only one keeping her safe! How could you?"  
Dean stood there taking it until Castiel stepped up to wrap his arms around her and he held her until her screams were hoarse and then silent.

  
Their daughter stood in horror, watching her mother come apart and then put herself back together. She stared at her father who had just...tried...to kill a man. A man who then disappeared from right in front of her. She whispered,"What in the hell is going on?"  
Dean stood silent, her mom no longer hysterical but standing quietly still in Cas's arms. Her Uncle Sam finally said in a hoarse voice, " That is a very, long and complicated story."  
"The doozies usually are..." And she sat down slowly in a chair, as if she had aged years. "I believe it would be best to start at the beginning....and use small bites."  
Sam looked at her puzzled and she began to laugh hysterically," How else are we to eat the elephant in the room...."  
She gestured weakly at the couple standing together. She stared a bit glaze eyed at them, her mother tucked protectively under Cas's chin, head resting on his chest, his arms tightly around her. The girl blinked and rubbed her eyes. Their image seemed a bit off, darker, like they were wrapped in something that she could just barely see. What the hell...were those....wings? I am going mad, she thought, ...along with him. Her gaze swung almost drunkenly to the man standing beside them, the man she thought she had truly known, his arms dangling, bloody knife still in hand.  
"I think I need a drink.", she muttered.  
The man she called father looked at her with a familiar smile, "You and me both, kiddo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized there's danger of the daughter coming off a bit....harsh. I don't want her going in that direction, don't want to down play the shock but also I don't want to end up not liking her ;p
> 
> ***Gabriel calls her my treasure in Enochian


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay dokey....someone's gonna need to figure out what to do now that Dean has done what he does best! ;)  
> Seriously...bear with me....this is getting ALL twisty, turvy...

Sam cleared his throat and was about to speak when Dean spoke first. "I already knew about your mom and Cas. That was a douche move on your part, I want you to know that."

  
The girl looked at him, a bit shocked on how calm he was about the whole thing after his completely raging episode against Gabriel.  
"But...she's your wife....", she stammered.  
"So she is. And we'll get to all that. You need to remember she is also your mom. Not once has Cas given me cause not to trust him concerning her. As a matter of fact this whole shit fest is because how much he cares for her...and you."  
"Dean..." Cas tried to stop his talking, but Dean held up his hand.  
"I understand the hesitation on telling her the truth but...we have all known what happens when we keep secrets....even when we think it protects those we love. It usually ends up biting us in the ass. So...I think it's time we tell her."  
Everyone was silent as they looked at Dean but Dean's eyes were on Castiel and his gaze never wavered. "I'm not going to overstep because this is your call. I'm only giving one man's opinion, for what it is worth."  
Cas sighed deeply, nodded once before wandering over to the window by the door. He looked out but not seeing the street below him. He was lost on his own head.  
Sam asked, "So where do we start?" Dean chewed his bottom lip, at a loss. Shrugging he said, "From the beginning, I guess. "  
Y/n sighed and said, "I better go make some coffee, this is going to take a while." Sam huffed a chuckle and when she walked past, Dean caught her hand squeezing it before letting go. Castiel didn't move from the window.  
So, as best they could Sam and Dean explained who they really were. Not a community college professor that taught ancient and foreign religions, that being Sam, nor a business contractor, Dean, whose younger brother assisted him on occasion as a side job to supplement his teaching income.  
"What about mom? What about Cas?", she asked trying hard to wrap her mind around what they were saying.  
They explained how they had met Castiel, years before her mom. What he was. How they had met Gabriel. What they had all done concerning the potential end of the world. Her eyes darted over to Cas, where he still stood by the window, unmoving, silent.  
"So...he and Gabriel...are angels.", she whispered, part of her thinking this was a sick joke, another part wishing like hell it was.  
"Yeah, most of them are dicks...like Gabe but your d...Cas...is a good man, a shit angel sometimes, but always a good man", Dean told her.  
"Oookaay....so where does mom fit in to all this?", she asked getting s bit impatient not to mention overwhelmed with learning about the things she used to read as fairy stories in Uncle Sam's books. Now they are insisting that crap was real.  
Sam retold the day that they had managed to kill a nest of vampires, where Y/n was being held prisoner..not quietly mind you.  They both had heard her yelling once they started fighting against the vamps. Dean eventually found her tied up in the head vampire's bedroom. Apparently the leader thought her to be entertainng, so he kept her for a while  
to taunt until he finished feeding on her. And although she had been bitten, she had not fed so they cured her.  
"Wait...what the hell...okay...I played along with Cas and Gabriel being Angels and the whole Apocalypse crap...you've had your freaking fun but now are you telling me that all the movie shit is real and there are vampires as well and you know how to cure the victims?"  
"Oh, hell no...", Dean exploded, but her smug look vanished when he continued, "They are nothing like that pansy ass stalker/rapey crap and they sure as hell don't sparkle in the sun, sweetheart. They are ruthless and the only damn good thing about them is when they are dead. There was only one I ever trusted, the rest I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire."  
"Okay...so you saved mom from vampires and then you and mom lived happily ever after?", she muttered.  
Dean barked a bitter laugh. Sam leaned back in his chair with a frown. Castiel continued to stand stiff and silent at the window, why wasn't he adding anything? He just stood there. Y/n only looked at the floor, even she was now silent, having interjected once in a while to clarify a detail or two. Y/n began picking at her nails nervously.  
"Stop it, momma. You're gonna make them bleed," the young woman told her. And the girl was astonished when Y/n began to cry, tears dripping soundlessly from her chin. Yet when the first drop hit the hardwood floor, Castiel was kneeling beside her holding her hands in his. How the hell did he get there so fast...  
"Not quite.", Sam cleared his throat. "Castiel met someone. He, um...well...so...he"  
"Has a kid with her." Dean finished.  
"She's a...uh...a Nephilim. Marked for death the moment she came into existence.", Sam added. "Her mother too."  
Dean continued, "We agreed to help him protect the baby and her mother from anyone who would seek to hurt them. Gabriel was part of that plan."  
The girl looked from them to Dean, whom had a pained look on his face but he didn't make a move towards her mother.  
"Gen ge hoxmarch...olani oai emna*", Castiel whispered, "She'll be okay. I will protect her."  
Something shifted and fell into place as she watched her mother and Cas together.  
"Oh my god...he.....I'm...", she stammered.  
"Not trying to get all Darth Vader or shit about it, but Cas is your father." Dean said flatly.  
\-------  
Castiel watched his daughter paced the floor, several times she almost spoke but would clamp her lips shut...pressed into a thin flat line. The tears were done for now, and her face had changed from anger, to sadness, back to anger again as she paced.  
Finally, exhausted, she sat down with a thump into her overstuffed chair. No one had spoken as she had tried to process everything and no one spoke now. They waited.  
She held her head in her hands and her voice was cracked and muffled, "How could you?"  
Castiel hung his head, his shoulders drooping as he sat heavily on a wooden chair. Of all the reactions he had excpected, her anger, her disgust, and ultimately her rejection were what he feared the most. Heart breaking, he waited for her to tell him she never wanted to see him again as she croaked,"How?" Castiel couldn't speak and Y/n took a breath about to defend him but the girl held up a hand silencing her mother. She waited for her birth father to speak and she realized he was unable to, trapped by his fear.  
She crept over to him and took one of his limp hands in both of hers. She held them tight and she swallowed hard, trying to find the words to say, herself. Castiel was surprised at the action and he slowly lifted his head to look at her. Tears had begun anew when she cradled his face with her hand.

  
"How were you able to watch us live our lives without you? Living on the edge....always on the outside? It must have been so, so difficult." The girl wept, unknowingly echoing the same concern as her mother days before. Once she had gotten over the initial shock of it all, she was aware these people were still her people, her family, and nothing had really changed. Except maybe perhaps her name.  
"So if I'm not a Perry...or a Winchester...what is my name?"  
Sam said confused, "Novak?" Cas shook his head, "Jimmy Novak is no more."  
Dean cleared his throat, "Well, Cas has proven that he fits in with all the crap decisions he has made to protect someone he loves, so I guess Winchester?"  
A rare tear slipped down Castiel's cheek as he in turn cradled her face, "It has always been Hoath Ozba**" He held out his other hand to Y/n drawing her in close as well. He wrapped his arms around them both and for the first time since her birth, Castiel truly held his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here was a nice little reveal session...I tried to make the daughter not so heartless...  
> AND I'm soooo excited for the next bit if it's going in the direction I think it is...I had a giggle anyway ;)  
> So if you have enjoyed the ride, keep hands and feet inside the vehicle because we're not done yet!  
> Cas's Enochian phrases:  
> *Don't be afraid...I am here  
> **Love one


	27. Chapter 27

Before leaving Dean and Sam placed sigils and devil traps in hidden places. "This will keep that douche bag out," Dean said in smug satisfaction. His face hardened and he questioned her again, "What actually was going on between you and Gabriel" His mouth drew up as if he had tasted a sour lemon. She debated on staying ambiguous about their relationship, still sore over the lies that entwined their lives but she relented. "I met him several months ago, he found me actually. Claiming to be Unc..." She paused. "He claimed to be Cas's estranged brother."  
Dean waited for more of an explination on why he was just hanging around. She sighed and shrugged, "I felt sorry for him."  
Sam barked a laugh, "You felt sorry for Gabriel?"  
"He's lonely. If what you say is true, could you imagine having to be in hiding for so long...no one to know who you truly were? No family? At least Cas had us....he has had no one."  
Dean pressed,"And that was it?" She gave him a classic Sam bitchface. "He tried to hook up with my roommate but me, no. That was all show and play....a pissing contest. He usually does it when I end up with dicks as dates. Protective and territorial,", she laughed a genuine laugh," His behavior really isn't much better than theirs, handsy and enough innuendos to choke a damn horse, but he's....Gabe...and they're...not." She shrugged. "He...he....Cas was right when he told me Gabriel was not what he seemed. It's obvious you've only seen one side of his mask. I've seen them both."  
Y/n murmured, "Both?"  
The young woman gave a bitter smile,"Yeah...as comfortable as he was with me...I rarely saw him unguarded, unprotected...just him without a facade." The smile turned sad, "Because if I had, I would have fallen for him."  
Dean bristled at the thought and Sam didn't try to hide his displeasure when he snapped, "It sounds like you already did."  
"Well, no worries on that right? Dear ol' protective Dad put paid to anything of that nature? Right? Is that how you really are? Act first, ask questions later...if there's anyone left to ask?"  
"You're defending him? Gabriel?", Dean asked incredulously. "After all that shit?"  
She pinched the bridge of her nose, a very Y/n behavior and Castiel was struck at how fast time went by, how fleeting human life was. This child was practically grown and her time on earth shorter with each breath.  
"It's clear that Gabriel did not mean harm to her, regardless on how we felt about the situation. With Y/n beginning to remember, he possibly felt that the need for extra protection was in order.", Castiel told the group.

  
"What the crap...you too? Fine...let's just invite him to Thanksgiving dinner, I'll get engraved invitations, no need to RSVP just show the hell up whenever he feels like it," Dean snapped. "Better yet, we'll just fix him up a room back home, let him join the ranks of the damn strays she kept bringing home as a kid. Although I bet that damn cat is more housebroken than his feathery ass...." Dean was still angry about Theodore, her favorite stray, choosing to use the area under Baby as his litter box.  
Her mouth twitched. "It's not funny....", he exploded. "Now that you brought him out here with you, I just now have been able to get the smell of cat piss out of the garage."  
"Where is he, by the way?", Y/n asked looking around for the orange and white tabby.  
"Aw, hell, Y/n,", Dean complained, "Don't you think I have suffered enough today? Do you really want my allergies to get started as well?"  
Sam looked around concerned, "Yeah, he was pretty old. Did anything happen?"  
The girl shook her head, "No, he's around. He surprisingly has adapted very well out here. He shows up every once in a while" She gave a half hearted smile. "I think he has a girlfriend."  
"Damn...I hope I get around as well as that damn cat when I'm old and grey. He's got to be ancient....he wasn't a young cat when we found him." Y/n poked him in the stomach with her forefinger, a mock frown on her face. He smirked at her with a wink before looking at Cas ,"And it's strange as hell how he recovered so quickly...from being dead."  
The girl furrowed her brow as she thought back to when the cat was found half dead by the side of the road.  
"He...he...was dead." She looked at Castiel, "You did that...I called it magic....but it was because you..."  
He lifted a shoulder. "You risked being found out to bring a stray cat back to life.", she continued.

  
"You were inconsolable. I hate seeing you cry.", he murmured. She nodded not speaking while Y/n began cleaning up.  
"Okay, I think we all need to get some sleep. This has been...rough", Sam stated, stretching his arms above his head, fingertips brushing the ceiling. His niece resisted the urge to poke him in the belly like she would have in the past. She wasn't quite ready to act as if everything was normal, but she knew she would end up forgiving them. After all, they were family, wings and all.  
She walked them out to their vehicles, Dean laying claim to Baby once again with Y/n getting  in the front seat as Cas  climbed into the back. She chose to not see the quick squeeze of her mom's shoulder from Castiel before he once again elected to be separate. Dean had paused to watch him clamber into the backseat, Dean's mouth pulled into a small frown as he did so, but her study of her parents was interrupted by a bone crushing hug from Sam.  
"It's going to be okay, Lil Bit.", he murmured against her hair. She nodded and he released her with a small jump back, looking down.  
"Well, speak of the devil. Hello, Theo.", her uncle greeted the orange and white cat that was weaving itself between their legs, mewing.

  
The girl knelt and picked up the tomcat. "Well, hello. Did your girlfriend toss you on your ear or is this just a quick visit?" The cat mewed and Sam chuckled raising a hand in farewell, "We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She nodded and watched them drive off to the nearest motel.  
With a sigh, she lifted the cat to look it in the eyes. "Have I got a whopper of a story to share with you, Theodore." The cat just stared at her with his golden eyes unblinking and mewed.   
"Okay..okay...let's go find something to eat...." It mewed loudly. "I know, I know...no tuna fish...there might be some cake left, you silly ol' thing.", she murmured cradling it close. The cat curled up in her arms and flicked his tail in anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll find out if those sigils will work...don't get too cocky Dean.   
> Hmmmm...Theo, looking kinda rough there, buddy....like you've been in a fight maybe


	28. Chapter 28

Y/n woke up heart pounding in her chest and it was difficult to draw breath into her lungs. Her throat was tight and when she inhaled it sounded wheezy and thin. Panic from her nightmare still held onto the edges of her consciousness and the heavy weight across her stomach only heightened it. She began to thrash, consumed only with the idea of breathing and getting free.  
Castiel had been lying still beside her as she slept when he realized she was having a nightmare. He had learned that the panic in nightmares, although terrifying, where no cause for immediate interaction, that physically she was alright, this was a way to cope mentally. He knew how distressing the nightmares could be, he had had many such dreams as Steve.

When it was apparent she was waking and still in the grips of the dream, he sat up, pulling her into his lap, her back flush against his bare chest. He wrapped his arms securely around her and tucked his chin against her neck whispering in her ear. It didn't really matter what he said, as long as it was gentle and calming. Her breathing regained normalcy and her heart rate slowed. He smoothed her sweat damp hair from her forehead as she drew in a ragged breath.  
Slowly, slowly she relaxed into the warmth of him against her back, her hands uncurled and she let them rest on his knees, which were outstretched on either side, her fingers stroking the smooth cotton of the sleep pants he wore for her. Her head lay limply on his shoulder, she could feel his breath on her neck and she sighed.

  
"Were you reciting Newton's Laws of Motion?", she wheezed a few minutes later. He chuckled before he pressed a kiss in the crook of her neck and shoulder, tasting the slight saltiness of her fear, "I guess I was..."  
"Dork..."

  
She turned in his arms so that her head rested on his shoulder, her knees drawn up in his lap. He shifted his weight to settle her more comfortably and she murmured,"This isn't uncomfortable for you, is it?"  
He laughed, a sound she hadn't heard in a long time,"Even if my limbs were in danger of  taking a nap, I wouldn't want to do anything else."  
Y/n began to giggle,"Taking a nap?"  
"Yes...that's what it's called right, the blocking of circulation?", he elaborated.  
Her giggles became outright laughter, "You mean falling asleep?"  
"Isn't that what I said?", he asked as she continued to laugh. If she had been able to see his face, she would have questioned if  his misunderstanding had been authentic because his smile was a contrast to his tone of confusion. Either way, her laughter made him very happy and he held her tighter. Her laughter soon calmed and she sighed as she snuggled closer.

  
"Do you want to talk about it?", he asked and she knew he was referring to her nightmare.  
"Not yet....maybe when the sun comes up?", she whispered.  
He nodded, knowing that some dreams lost their power in the light of day when you sat in the full strength of the sun...or in the motion everyday routine. The satisfaction of knowing you had done a good job and your store was kept neat and tidy sometimes could keep the demons at bay. Yes...he knew her hesitation on putting the fear into words when the shadows lingered.  
Once her breathing slowed and she had fallen into a deep sleep once again, Castiel eased her down to lay beside him once again. He pulled her close and kept watch for the rest of the night once more.

  
Later, they met with Dean and Sam at the diner beside the motel. They were pleased to see their daughter sitting at the table as well. She and Dean seemed to be in a competition over who could order and eat the largest breakfast.  
"Forget it, sweetheart...you have never been able to beat me when eating....never gonna happen," Dean smirked after the waitress had taken their order.

  
Y/n was amused at how flirtatious the waitress was with the two brothers. Even after hard years had passed, they still drew the attention of almost every woman that came around them. Only Castiel seemed untouched by the years, but she knew the years had not passed him gently either.

  
Castiel slid into the booth beside Sam and as Y/n made to join him, her daughter stood and motioned at her to sit between herself and Dean. Y/n lifted a brow but sat down without speaking. Dean slung an arm over her shoulder, pulling her close to press a kiss against her temple. He kept his arm there, holding her close as he asked, "How did you sleep, Baby?"  
The girl hid her grin at the endearment, only used in reference to the two most important things outside of her Uncle Sam. She flicked her eyes over at the man who was her father, to gauge his reaction at this display but he was engaged in a conversation with Sam, seemingly oblivious to the couple. Yet when Y/n answered, "Fine...what about you?" Cas interrupted Dean's reply to correct her, "She did not sleep well." Castiel's eyes were trained on her waiting for her to deny it.

Dean didn't give her a chance to refute it.

  
"What? Why? What's wrong?", he leaned back to try and see her face fully. Her daughter joined the inquisition. Y/n narrowed her eyes at Cas, "I had a bad dream. I am fine."  
"Well, momma...dreams can give us insight into what is really going in our minds...Freud.", her daughter began.  
"Nope...Dr. Winchester....you are not going to psychoanalysis me with your one class worth of psychology. It was just a bad dream.", Y/n admonished.  
"Well, she's right...dreams can tell us a lot....", Sam was cut off by Y/n exclaiming, "Not you too, Sam?! Seriously, it was just a bad dream!"

  
Dean was not appeased and frowned at her, "I'll let you know if I have it again!", she promised and he grunted in acquiesce. She glared at Castiel, frustrated at him having provoked Dean's protective side. Cas was non-repentant and stared right back.  
Finally Y/n huffed and gave her order to the waitress who was still attempting to elicit a positive response from one of the male occupants of the table. They were the cutest things to come in for the longest time. She brought Y/n her coffee and questioned the girl sitting beside her, curious on who was available.

  
"This your mom and dad, sweetie?", she asked pouring more coffee in her cup.  
The girl wasn't ignorant in the waitress's ploy and couldn't help it. "Oh, yeah...this my mom and Dean. They are visiting me from Kansas." The waitress smiled snd turned interested eyes on the other two men, dismissing Dean as being unavailable.  
"And that's Cas and Sam."  
"How nice the entire family coming out to visit.", the waitress smiled but was interrupted when the girl continued, "Yes, it is nice to have my mom and dads visit...."

  
"Y..you're dads?", the waitress said confused, "All of them?" She waved her hand weakly at the men sitting at the table, with varying expressions: Dean, highly amused; Sam, not so much and Cas...well like Cas, head tilted brow furrowed.

  
"Oh no!", the girl corrected and waitress looked a bit relieved, thinking she had misunderstood, that is until the girl continued, "One is my uncle and that would be just a bit weird...don't you think?" She didn't clarify who was who and only smiled sweetly as she asked for another order of pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo....what if some of "Steve's" over achieving at the Gas 'N Sip wasn't all because he wanted to do a good job but when he slept there, it kept the nightmares in their cages...yeah you're welcome.... :'(
> 
> As always I hope you enjoyed reading this bit and please forgive any errors since I am my own proofreader and my proofreader sometimes stinks at her job! ;)


	29. Chapter 29

Since she had walked to the diner, Castiel and Y/n walked their daughter back to the apartment. Dean and Sam had another job several states over to the east and Dean's benevolence towards them driving Baby had reached its limit.

  
"I swear if I have to listen to the Wicked soundtrack one more damn time I will come unhinged.", Dean muttered hugging Y/n goodbye. "If I hate witches, I hate singing ones even more." He climbed into Baby slamming  the door shut as he yelled at Sam to hurry the hell up.

Sam hugged tightly Y/n as she asked "Wicked? Really?"  
Sam chuckled,"I can't stand it either, but it's worth hearing him hum bits of it then curse like hell when he realizes what he's doing. I consider it payback for the same three damn cassettes all these years."  
"Eight," Y/n murmured. "You know she replaced them a couple of years ago? Cost quite a bit I'm sure since she had to convert all the songs to cassette; I still don't know how she paid for them. Because, good night nurse, who listens to cassettes, CD's are hardly used anymore."  
Sam huffed a laughed, "Yeah, it was more than her part time job could cover. I helped her out. One day the stubborn ass might change to something less ancient but I doubt it."

Y/n gave him an extra hard squeeze, her heart full for this man who had become her brother and for his love of his dumb ass brother, no matter how often he complained about his elder brother's music choice. Dean honked the horn, "Dammit, Sammy quit making out with my best girl and get your ass in the damn car, daylight's awastin'. " Dean's frustration was mellowed by the wink he gave to Y/n.  
The three left behind stood watching as the Impala rumbled away, leaving Sam's vehicle for Cas and Y/n to drive back to the bunker. Sam having lived most of his life transient meant that most material things didn't have as much sentimental pull as they did to Dean, therefore he had no  qualms about leaving the truck for them; besides it was a dumpy beater that Dean mocked any chance he got. Claimed it leaked more oil than he could keep in it, which wasn't true. Although it looked like a P.O.S, Dean had rebuilt the entire engine and it probably worked better now than when it came off the line.

Once the roar faded in the distance, the girl tucked her hands in her pockets and said nonchalantly, "You know, classes don't start back for another couple of days...so....you know...", she faltered at the end.  
Castiel spoke before Y/n had a chance to speak,"I would like to see your campus and I have heard the Stanford dish is a nice place to hike."  
The girl arched an eyebrow at him,"You have, have you?" It was clear her Uncle Sam had some influence with this bit of conversation, although his next statement made it clear that Sam didn't explain what everything actually was, he just gave Cas a list of things to try and connect with her over.  
"Although, I cannot understand why people would walk to see a dinner plate....why is that?", he asked, head tilted in classic Castiel confusion. Both daughter and mother began laughing and Cas grinned at how much they sounded alike. His girls.

  
At his grin, Y/n wondered yet again if his confusion was genuine or if he had purposely misunderstood to hear them laugh.

A couple of days later found them standing again at the same spot but this time it was Y/n's and Castiel's turn to leave. Y/n held the girl a little longer than usual and when she released her, slipped a few bills in her hand. The girl quirked an eyebrow, "Daddy already gave me what he hustled before he left. You might need that."  
The girl had been amazed to see another new side of her adopted father, it had truly been a sight to behold. Y/n chuckled,"You should see your Uncle Sam. How do you think he got so good at reading tells? We'll be fine....they taught me everything I know." The girl grinned at that and then glanced over at Castiel who was looking expressionlessly off into the distance, as was his habit, especially when emotions were running high. He too had a great poker face.

The girl shuffled shyly over to him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on his chest. He did not hesitate to bring his arms up and hold her for a moment. "Take care, ozien.*", he whispered into her hair before releasing her.

  
Y/n couldn't help but give her daughter another quick hug as Castiel began to climb into the driver's seat. Sam wasn't as particular about who drove the truck, unlike his obsessive older brother. It was a means of transportation only, but the interior reflected the owner, neat and well kept. Except for the cat....

Cas stopped when he noticed that Theodore had leapt in the open window and was now sitting alert on the driver's seat.

  
"Hello, Theodore.", Castiel greeted him formally with a slight head nod.

Cats always mystified him but he admired them. Independent, not caring about common opinion.

He reached out to remove the cat but stopped when the cat mewed loudly while showing its sharp teeth. Castiel looked at the cat closely. "Ah...", not quite sure what to do but didn't want to look like an bumbling idiot who couldn't remove a creature smaller than him from the cab of the truck..."I believe I am in need of you vacating this vehicle."

The cat mewed again and began licking its paw nonchalantly. Castiel huffed and reached out again. This time the cat allowed him to pick him up but refused to let Cas put him down by hooking his front claws in the sleeve of Cas's trenchcoat. "Theodore, I must insist you allow me to put you down or give you to her. We are leaving."

The cat yowled and Castiel looked at him closely, the cat's golden eyes drilling into his own. Recognition slowly dawned and Castiel's eyes darted from the cat to his daughter, who was talking quietly with Y/n, not really paying attention to him or  the cat.

The cat mewed again, extending his claws deeper into the fabric of the coat until Cas felt them on his skin. He looked back at the cat. A cat that should have died many years before.  
"For how long?", Castiel questioned. It looked as if the cat shrugged, not concerned.  
"Does she know?", Castiel questioned again. The cat glared, claws gripping harder.  
"Clearly not," Cas murmured and the cat purred in agreement.  
"If Dean...", the cat interrupted him with hiss and lifted a paw as if to strike at Castiel.

Castiel stopped and looked the cat carefully. "I will keep it...for now."  
Castiel asked a few more questions but the cat had lost interest and pushing out of his arms went to stand at the girl's feet, mewing. She laughed and picked him up.

The cat immediately began rubbing his head against her chest, purring. She laughed and began petting him, while Castiel's worked at relaxing his hands, the fists he had made at the sight cramped his fingers painfully.

This time the smirk on the cat's face was unmistakeable and he could have sworn the damn thing had winked. The cat closed his eyes with a feline grin settling into her arms as she stroked his back.

Castiel clenched his jaw and announced,"We better go." Before he slung the damn cat into the bushes by the nape of his neck. His always knew how to infuriate Castiel. It seemed to be his special talent....  
Her parents climbed into the truck with another round of good byes.  
"Call me, okay?", Y/n told her determined not to get teary. The girl playfully huffed, "Yes, mom..."

  
Castiel looked at his only child and told her gruffly, "Stay safe." He looked at the cat who was alert but still lounging boneless in her arms, eyes trained on Cas.  
"Watch out for her, esiaeskah**", he commanded in a pissed off tone, it being clear to the two women that he was talking to the cat who only mewed back with a bored look while the mother and daughter grinned at Cas's peculiarities.

"You are so weird," the girl said fondly. "I love you." And she stepped away quickly waving as he blinked a couple of times in surprise in her statement. He answered back, "Olani hoath ol." Her eyes widen as they drove away, suddenly realizing what he had been saying to her all these many years,  never understanding until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy fluff for you! Things are looking up! About time.....  
> *ozien-"mine own"  
> **esiaskah-brother  
> ***Olani hoath ol-I love you  
> Wicked lovers don't be hatin'! I doubt Dean would enjoy many Broadway musicals let alone one about witches XD
> 
> (Wishing Gabriel could come back just as easily on the show...sigh )


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and stuff ;)

The return trip to the bunker was uneventful and even though they took back roads, stopping at whatever struck their fancy, they still beat  the brothers back by three days. The simple salt and burn had developed into something less simple, which wasn't surprising. Nothing was ever simple. Since Dean and Sam declined assistance, this left Cas and Y/n to their own devices back at the bunker. It was quite the domestic scene.

Undisturbed, they experienced a mundane routine that had been endured by couples through the ages. Get up, eat breakfast, have small talk about nothing in particular, maintenance around the bunker, some research for Sam, another meal or two for Y/n thrown in, then to  bed...only to repeat it again the next day. Boring, everyday stuff. They reveled in it.

  
Y/n woke up one of the mornings to discover Castiel had gotten up before her. Not surprising in itself since he didn't sleep, but she was surprised he had left without kissing her, as it had now become his habit, one to which she woke eagerly.  
As they were still alone in the bunker, she bypassed slipping on a robe but she did pull on his dress shirt which he had left hanging neatly on the back of a chair. The fact that it was there and not on him indicated he was still in the bunker and not off helping the brothers. Feeling a bit mischievous, she left it unbuttoned to hang open but she did roll the sleeves up  since they hung uselessly several inches past her finger tips. It was easy to forget that his physical height was still above average when she lived with two other men who were even taller than he.

She found him in the kitchen fixing breakfast. Waffles to be exact. He had perfected them over the years once he had discovered Y/n and their daughter shared a fondness for them. It had become a monthly tradition for "uncle" Cas to show up and fix them waffles. He even made enough for them to freeze, scoffing at the idea of them buying the frozen ones when he was there to keep them in supply. He told Y/n why do that when there was a perfectly good waffle iron and he was willing to use it. Y/n had always wondered where the waffle iron had come from and when she asked Dean, he only shrugged with a smirk saying it was a wedding gift. Curiously Sam had turned red and glared at his brother. She never did find out from whom.  Either way, Cas was now the only one who used it.

  
If Dean was the master of the grill, then Castiel was the king of breakfast. Even Sam was known to bypass his usual yogurt and fruit when Cas was there fixing breakfast. He pulled out all the stops: eggs, waffles (of course), all kindps of breakfast meats, fruit, hashbrowns.... When she asked why breakfast and he answered mornings held promise, the day usually not having yet gone "to shit" as Dean would say.  
This morning was no different, even though it was just the two of them and she would be the only one eating. Y/n snagged a piece of bacon and stuff it in her mouth before going to stand behind Castiel. She slipped her hands around his waist, peeking around and under his arm.

  
"Whatcha doin?", she sing-songed as he poured batter into the waffle iron. It was quite decadent to feel the muscles from his bare back moving against her practically naked self. She wondered if she could take his mind off of breakfast...he tended to be single minded sometimes.  
"Building a bookcase.", he said cheerfully. She froze in the act of trying to distract him by running her fingers across his chest and stammered, "W..what?"

  
He laughed and explained, "It is obvious what I am doing Y/n. For very intelligent people, you and Sam can ask stupid questions. Therefore the absurd question deserved an equally absurd answer. And it is also obvious what you were trying to do."  
"You made a joke, Cas.", she grinned unbelievingly as he checked the waffle.  
"Did I?", he asked indifferently, as he flipped the waffle out onto a plate, after deeming it done.

  
He turned to look down at her as she asked with a cheeky grin, "So...what am I trying to do?" She let her fingers walk up his chest before sliding her hand to the back of his neck. She laughed when he lifted a brow and gave her a mock exasperated look, "What did I just say about stupid questions?"  
She shrugged, "Maybe I'm not as smart as you think?"  
"Well, your choice of lovers does make one beg the question...", he murmured as her fingers began threading through the hair on the nape of his neck.  
She pressed her lips against his neck as she murmured, "What would that question be exactly?"  
He put the plate down on the counter behind him and picking her up, answered, "I forget..."  
Breakfast was forgotten as well...

Dean and Sam came stumbling late in the afternoon on the fourth day, road weary and dirty. They had only done the minimum for first aid, opting to get home to the bunker before really doing anything except slap bandages on and drive all night and most of the next day. They were so exhausted, they were barely able to drag their bags from the trunk and Y/n instructed them to leave them in the bay, she'd wash them later but for them to wash up first and she'd check out their injuries.

Dean groaned as Y/n peeled off a gauze almost stiff with dried blood from his upper bicep, "Man...I am getting way too old for this shit." His head fell back to rest on the chair while she gently began cleaning the wound, checking if it needed stitches.  
"Then stop.", she said quietly, hands still as she let it sink in, what she was saying, what she was suggesting. He sat in silence for so long she thought he had fallen asleep. A quick glance at his face revealed he was deep in thought. Green eyes dark with emotion. A small frown marring his face and between his brow.  
Finally he spoke, "What about her? What do we do to keep her safe?"  
"We do that but we can do that out of this life.", she told him.  
"And do what, Y/n?", Dean demanded.

She just looked at him as he grew angry. "In case you don't remember, I don't even have a high school diploma, who in the hell is going to hire me at my age? What would I do?", he was almost yelling now.  
Sam stood quietly outside the room, towel paused in the action of drying his hair, to listen.  
"You have your GED, Dean and you're not stupid.", she told him just as quietly as he was loud. "You practically rebuilt Baby several times over. You could do that with other cars, people would pay good money for that level of skill."  
"Dammit, Y/n...what do you want? After all these years? What are you asking for? I don't do picket fences and apple pies! I screwed that up to hell and back once before already, why the hell do you think I'd want to drag you through that shit storm with me!", he  was yelling now, fear of failing, again, this time failing at something he had already tried once and didn't succeed, something not related to "the family business"." Afraid of her discovering he wasn't all that great after all.  
Sam heard her sigh and he stepped closer to hear her response. He could just make out the couple around the edge of the door frame. Dean was standing, shoulders set in anger, hands on hips, head down as he mulled over what she had suggested. Y/n stepped up behind him, slipped her arms around his waist and held him tight, her cheek resting against his broad, still muscular back. She was smiling, of all things, as she said, "You can do the apple pie....we both just need to learn how to do the picket fence together."  
Dean huffed a bitter laugh and asked, "What about Cas? How does he fit in this scheme of yours?"  
"Oh, he'll be around....I want us to be around together just a little bit longer, with this life we have been living on borrowed time for so long. I'm greedy, I want you both...with me..safe....", she told him as he turned in her arms to face her.  
"Greedy, huh? And how do you think Cas will feel about sharing you with me, huh? Now that he's got you back?", Dean questioned. He reached up to brush her hair from her face gently.  
Y/n stood quiet before saying, "He shared me for twenty years and hasn't mentioned trying to erase those years between us. But, I don't know....we haven't really talked about it."  
"I think you should. We owe him that much at least...he gave us twenty years of somewhat relative happiness...", Y/n pinched his stomach at that tease and he jerked back with a grin. "Hey, watch it...I'm wounded."  
His throat constricted at the thought of losing the memories, twenty years of moments like these....years longer than he had expected to live let alone being able to experience something like this. A love to grow old with.  
He wrapped his arms around her so she couldn't see the tears that shimmered, dammit he was getting sentimental in his dotage, he thought silently, "Talk to him, sweetheart. And then we'll go from there. If he's on board, I'll do apple pie and picket fences until I puck with boredom.", he teased giving her one tight squeeze before releasing her to find Cas.  
Once she left, Sam stood in his brother's bedroom doorway. "Were you telling her the truth? That if we figure out how to protect Lil Bit and Cas agrees, you'll quit all this....die an old man?"  
Dean smiled ruefully, "Shit, Sam...I'm already an old man....but yeah, I would."  
Sam's answering grin took years off his face and for a moment he looked just like the twenty year old kid Dean had pulled back into this life. Again tears threatened, so many years of regret that he wouldn't mind forgetting.

Y/n found Cas standing idly at a bookshelf in the library, looking at titles of books he had no interest in.  
"So, Dean and I have been talking.", she began suddenly shy at what she was about to propose.  
Cas glanced over at her then back at the books, he hummed in question, waiting for her to elaborate. He was a picture of disinterested nonchalance.  
Y/n cleared her throat, "So...we were talking about how while we figure out what to do about her...we will also figure out what we are going to do out there."  
Cas turned to face her, "Out there?"  
"Out there, out of this life...normal....well, not completely normal. I doubt I would even know normal.", she quipped.  
Castiel stared at a point beyond her left shoulder as he said carefully, "You and Dean deserve stability. It will be a good life." He glanced once to look her in the eye and she realized what he was thinking as he dropped his eyes to the ground.  
"Hey...no...not just us...all of us...well, I don't know about Sam, and she's going on with her own life. Us..us..Dean, me...and you.", she placed her hand on his chest, grasping the lapel of his overcoat. His eyes stayed down, looking at her hand and she began fiddling with the buttons.  
"I mean...you know...if you want. I know you don't really need a place to live...and you have always been welcome here...but this place would be ours....a place for you to really call yours, ours together.", she faltered and faded away not sure what he was thinking.

 

\--------

 

 

Here is the latest bit...<br />  
Yes I know that is Cas as a human washing his clothes and as an angel, he has no need to launder his clothing. Did you look at it? Scroll back up....seriously...do it....<br />  
Did you see? Because shoulders....shoulders...<br />  
I mean, if you are still having some doubts on using it for domestic Cas...look here....

Washing clothes could end up being fun, eh? XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it friends?  
> I know I left it at a bit of an abrupt ending but I will confess I am flummoxed...it is not the end ....But I have hit a brick wall,  
> Since the boys are relatively safe at the moment, I am not too fretful at letting them rest for a bit
> 
> Please excuse any typos and errors....might have to fire my secretary ;)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I know! I have taken forever to update...hopefully there is still interest!  
> Read, enjoy...excuse any mistakes, please!!

Y/n began to backpedal. "You know....stupid idea....you're right.....I should have listened to Dean",  she muttered backing up not really sure where she was going to go but felt like an idiot.  
Castiel's face was impassive when he asked,"What did Dean say?"  
"Oh...that you'd probably not want to...that is...you'd rather not...", she stammered losing all confidence now, damn she bumped into a bookshelf.  
"What would I not want to do?", he questioned stepping closer as she frowned and refused to look him in the eye.  
"To play house with me...us.", she mumbled twisting her hands together. "Just forget I said anything..."  
Castiel stopped his advance as he pondered her statement, "Play...house?" She nodded and he tried to figure out what she meant.

  
"You and Dean are adults, I am millennial years old...why would we want to play a game?", he asked, head tilted, eyes narrowed.  
"Not play in the sense that children play...but not take it seriously. He has his doubts.", she clarified still twisting her fingers.  
He placed his hand on her hands, stopping their nervous action. "I would never not take being with you seriously. What are his doubts?"  
Y/n looked down at their conjoined hands and told him, "Dean thinks he will fail at living a normal life. That he will mess up and hurt me in the process."  
Castiel nodded sagely, "He's probably right." He lifted her hands to kiss her fingers.  
Y/n glared at him indignantly and tried to pull her hands away, "Do you have that little faith in your best friend?"  
Cas tightened his grip, ignoring her struggle to get free and continued as if he had not heard her, "He will hurt you, as he has in the past and you will forgive him, as you have done in the past. Forgiveness that he will never feel he deserves and then you two will move on....together." He stepped even closer until her back was pressed into the shelves behind her  
Y/n stopped struggling and looked at the angel as he added, "Just as you and I have done." He leaned his head forward until his lips were even with her ear, just barely touching.  
Castiel loosened his grip on her hands but didn't let go, his words a whisper, his breath soft against her cheek, but she heard them clearly, "One truth I have learned in the many years I have observed humanity....and when I have intertwined myself in your fragile lives...is that your time here on earth, alive. is so fleeting....so very fleeting. So much time is wasted in fear...it's crippling, paralyzingly so. Dean is afraid, he has always battled against this fear."  
Y/n made to struggle again, to protest that Dean was brave, one of the bravest men she knew but Cas shhhhh her, lips barely against hers stopping her voice.  
"Since his mother died and his father was no longer his father but a man driven by revenge, Dean has always been afraid of losing those he loves because of his perceived failure to protect them...it is our job is to hold him, " Castiel's arms slipped around her as if to demonstrate, "to hold so tight, that even if he lets go, he won't fall."  
\------

Once Dean was on board with what he still called an idiotic plan, he approached it like everything else: head on and tenacious. After two weeks of grumbling and grousing to anyone who would listen, he not only found someone interested in his ability to restore cars but he also found a house.  
He was more excited about the house than the job.  
Dean made y/n cover her eyes with a blind fold and since he stated he didn't trust her, he also tied her hands together.  
He grunted in satisfaction once he got her bound up before turning back towards the steering wheel. He paused, hand on the key, not turning it, and looked back over at her.

Y/n spoke up, "I can feel your leering smirk all the way over here, Winchester. I know what you're thinking and the answer is no."

Dean chuckled,"Hey....they say spice is the longevity for a healthy sex life in marriage."

"I don't know who they are but with you, a pulse is enough.", she retorted.

"They happen to be professionals, thank you very much," Dean declared, pretending to be affronted.

"Professional pole dancers?", she laughed.

"It was a in a magazine...very legit!", Dean protested.

"I have a pretty good idea what kind of magazine," y/n muttered. , "I'm not sure if I would trust anything out of it."

She jerked in surprise when she felt his lips press against hers as his hand came to rest on her upper thigh.  
"You know, you're right...I don't need any help...I could just..."

"How far is the house from here?", Castiel asked, appearing suddenly in the back of the Impala.  
Dean jumped back so hard, he hit his side on the steering wheel and his hand accidentally hit Y/n on the chin.

"Son of a bitch, Cas...how many times do I....nevermind....feathery cock blocker...", Dean mumbled the last under his breath but Castiel replied, "I am no where near..."

"Shut the hell up, Cas!", Dean yelled jerking the car into gear and Y/n tried not to laugh, even though her tongue hurt where she had accidentally bit it when Dean had hit her.  
She felt Cas's hand on her shoulder and immediately the pain was gone. She was really going to have to have a serious conversation with Cas about using his power on non-consequential things, like a bit tongue or burnt finger while cooking. In the past he would just shrug and smile sweetly. She needed to nip it.  
Until then she would enjoy her husband's grumbling at her...oh my...lover's...actions. Her thoughts stumbled at this revelation. She had never thought seriously at the dynamics of what they were doing but....oh my giddy aunt is was a bona fide love triangle....oh...dear...her thoughts followed that trail ignoring what was going on between Dean and Castiel.

 

If she had been able, she would have seen the small smirk on Castiel's face at Dean's discomfort as he had healed her.

Dean though glared up at him through the rearview mirror but Cas only looked back blankly before turning to look out the window. Dean continued to grumble but he did it silently. His ill temper faded the closer they came to the house.  
\-------  
Y/n couldn't help but smile at the almost giddy sound in Dean's voice as he fussed with the door and her blindfold, ensuring she couldn't see the house until he was ready to reveal it.  
Castiel could see, this day and the years that would follow.  
It was the house he had found in his search for her so many years before.  
As Dean had been babbling before removing the cloth, it was indeed a fixer upper, nothing like it would one day be, but its bones were there....mocking him, showing him her future...a future that would one day have no use or room for him. A future he had hoped futilely against.

  
His smile was traitorous, for in reality he wanted to rent his clothes in anguish, to wail and beat his chest at the unfairness, at the loss. But, as forever and always , he was helpless in the sight of her joy and he agreed as she grabbed his own hand, that yes it was absolutely perfect, they would be very happy here.

  
She ran ahead with Dean to explore, her hand slipping unnoticed from Castiel's, not realizing he stood frozen, watching them run up the porch stairs hand in hand, laughing like lovers younger than their years.  And she was oblivious when his heart fell, shattering, into the dust waiting to be devoured by the Bird of Hermes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, folks...this road is meandering along...  
> What are your thoughts dear travelers, wrap it up neatly (neat ish...I'm not good at wrapping) and get to the end?  
> Let me know....


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What began as a quick short story to mainly figure out how to add pictures grew into a story with 40,000+ words!   
> Here is the ending....which I expected a LOT sooner XD  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ****Excuse any mistakes  
> *****as unfortunate as it is, I do not own supernatural or the characters, only those I have created****but you knew that already ;)

The house was bought and renovations began. In between car rebuilding jobs, Dean would finish one project only to begin another. He complained and fussed the entire three years it took to finally meet his standards. He enjoyed every moment.   
Castiel, during those three years, had tried to pull away, put distance between himself and Y/n. To have the inevitable separation be on his terms. He failed miserably. She was his moon that pulled him and to be honest, he didn't try very hard.  
Sam got an apartment and a job doing what he loved, research. But not about lore and hunting. It was actually law based, and although he would never become a lawyer, this was close enough for him. He came over on the weekends, sometimes alone, sometimes with a girl. Mostly alone, until she moved into town. Her background mysterious, her present too neat to be real, and they fit together like a hand in glove.  
Dean, along with Cas, did some digging without Sam's knowing and discovered an abusive husband. Nothing they couldn't handle if said joker came snooping around. And it wasn't any concern of theirs when said joker was found beaten almost to death in a dark alley outside a dive in Peora, having foolishly started a fight with a stronger, bigger opponent.  
The bar patrons told cops, he had been a right ass to a woman whose husband didn't care for it.  
What did they look like? Ah, who knows? Just an average looking couple, guy had dark blonde hair maybe, no he had brown hair. Blue eyes...no way, they were green, are you blind?  
Muscular? Hell, yeah. Someone that the idiot should have thought twice about crossing. They were just having a drink with a friend of theirs.  
Now he was odd, the friend, kept his coat on the entire time. It's July, for pete's sake.  
But all agreed they had one sweet ride, yet no one could agree on the color or the make. Blue, no black you idiot, a dark blue mustang, don't you know your damn cars? It was a Chevelle....dark blue. You are both wrong, it was a....  
The police finally gave up. The guy wasn't talking, he'd be lucky if he were able to use a wheelchair and apparently there wasn't any love lost between him and the community at large. Rumor had it he was wife beater until she left him, good for her, the senior officer thought. Poor bastard had been beaten so hard he couldn't even remember he had a wife, although it was curious on how he could remember other things. Like how to be an ass.  
Probably was for the best since no one seemed to know where she had gone and no one at the bar mentioned how the till was a bit short one night a couple of years ago. Nor how the patrons' pockets were a little lighter and a hat heavier with each hand that it passed. Or how they went home only one sheet to the wind rather than the customary two but no one was complaining.  
\------  
Their daughter made residency and took a position in a hospital near them. She came as often as she could, which wasn't enough according to Dean. Every visit, Theodore was in tow, Dean claiming the damn cat couldn't be natural, only staying alive to aggravate the ever loving shit out of him.  
She found a nice boy and the date was set for mid June. It was perfect.  
\------

  
Around early May, Dean began complaining about having heartburn that just wouldn't go away and Y/n didn't think twice, only told him he needed to quit eating so late at night and cut back on beer. Castiel didn't give any additional advice but his face grew pinched with worry.

  
It was a few days later, Dean had a hard time catching his breath after coming in from the garage. That's when Y/n began to fret, hands like fluttering like birds, telling him to call the doctor. To which he snapped as well as he could with lungs that refused to inflate properly, he wasn't calling any dumb ass doctor who wouldn't tell him anything different than what she had been harping on the  last few years.

  
He propped against the counter and relented, call her if it made Y/n feel any better. And with the phone in one hand and a prayer, Y/n told their daughter something was wrong with dad and called out to Cas.  
In the middle of the conversation, Dean slid to the floor, unresponsive.  
\--------

  
Their daughter hated the rain. It was so damned cliché, to rain at a funeral. Besides it made the pyre harder to light. That is until Uncle Sam poured the remaining gas on top, muttering screw it, you alway caused a damn commotion, Jerk. Tears fell when there was only the wind to reply.

  
Her mom looked older, Cas no different, as y/n watched the flames burn away the shell of her husband of thirty odd years. Y/n's hand clutched Castiel's tight and he would lean over to kiss the top of her head every once in a while.  
Sam left before it had even burned halfway, leaving Castiel and Y/n to hold vigil until the early morning when the only thing left was a pile of smoldering ash.

  
There were a few good years left after, Castiel taking care of Y/n with her ever growing fragile body. They welcomed the first grandchild and ignored the whispers of Y/n being a cradle robber. To which Castiel would laugh and laugh, since he was so much older than Y/n. She was a little less amused.

  
Then one day, she was surprised to find herself hooked up to monitors and wires. She was also upset that she couldn't find Dean. Castiel kept reassuring her Dean was fine and she would see him soon. That would appease her for a little while, until she forgot and the questions started over. The hardest for him to answer was why was he so sad? His lie lay heavy on his tongue but she accepted that he was fine without question, until she asked again.

  
The last day, he told her Sam had come to see her and he would go get him. Her doctor....so young in her white coat...no not doctor, daughter....her dark hair braided and over her shoulder. Blue eyes, piercing and knowing, just like her...

where's Castiel? He said he'd be back, where is he?

  
He'll be back, momma...  holds her mother's hand tightly, tears shining

  
That's right, he's gone to get Sam...but where's Dean? Where's your....  

  
Daddy's fine, momma. You'll get to see him soon..... 

  
I can't leave you, you're too young, where is Castiel? He'll look after you...but I can't find him....

  
Here's Castiel, momma...

  
A familiar voice rumbled assurances that Dean would be there when she woke up, just rest now...

  
He leaned closer to hear her murmur that she wanted him to stay until she woke up, not to leave...she wanted to tell him she loved him, always...but she couldn't get her tongue to recognize the words and she looked at him with panicked eyes.

  
He kissed her forehead and whispered in a choked voice, I know, and he promised he'd follow her into the dark.

  
\--------

  
He had expected a huge, dark emptiness, a feeling of loss when she left. What surprised him was the brightness that faded into a softer glow.

  
A familiar voice spoke too loudly in his left ear, "Cas, buddy...you took your sweet ass time. She was beginning to get anxious, hands all wavy and shit."

  
Castiel blinked rapidly as he tried to focus and someone was fiddling with the front of his shirt. He tried to push the hands away, peevishly. He didn't know where he was, and without her he didn't really care but whoever this was could just quit and leave him alone.

  
"Dude, what is it with you and your damn ties. Be still. She's waiting.", the voice chuckled and slowly a face to match the voice came into focus.

  
"D..Dean?", he muttered confused.

Dean had a look of intense concentration as he fixed Castiel's necktie. No, check that. A quick glance in the mirror revealed it was a bow tie and he was wearing a tuxedo. Still peevish, Castiel grumble, "Where's my suit?"

  
A new voice was heard behind him and his back stiffened.  
"Well, baby brother, don't we look dapper in our matching monkey suits?"

  
Castiel turned back to see Gabriel smirking with a lollipop in his mouth, eyes gleaming with mischief.

  
"Why are you here? Aren't you suppose to be watching...", Castiel snapped not knowing what was going on and he found he didn't like not knowing.

  
"She's fine, Papa Bear. She asked me to check on you. You had her worried, disappearing like you did.", Gabriel tutted, admonishing him for upsetting his favorite charge.

  
Castiel vaguely remembered when y/n slowly faded away, leaving him alone. But that was it.  
He frowned and looked down at his tux with the newly fixed bow tie.

  
"What is this?", he demanded, his confusion making him sound petulant and pouty.

  
Gabriel gave a grin, "It looks like someone has a soft spot for y/n" and he winked before walking away laughing.

  
Castiel frowned, he hated Gabriel laughing at him more than not knowing what was happening.

  
Dean tugged in his arm.  
"Come on man, don't keep her waiting."

  
"Who?!", Cas demanded digging in his heels.

  
"Who do you think, feather for brains." And he allowed Dean to pull him into a crowded room full of people and flowers.  
Dean made Cas stand beside him with a stern command to not move for cripe's sake, quit fidgeting and looked expectantly towards the back of the room.

  
The doors opened and there she was. On the arm of Gabriel. Who happened to have the biggest shit eating grin on his face.  
Music played but it was a roar in his ears as all he could focus on was her.

  
Half-way to him, a man of average height stepped out in front of the couple. He couldn't tell who it was but Gabriel looked positively gob-smacked. The normally verbose angel was positively stricken speechless and could only nod at the unheard request of the stranger. The stranger took y/n's arm to escort her the rest of the way, y/n with a confused smile on her face.  
Gabriel hurried up to stand behind Castiel, it seemed he was also officiating. And he looked completely flustered.  
Castiel realized why when the couple reached him.

  
"Hello Castiel.", the man greeted him and Castiel gaped, mouth open in astonishment.

  
"Um...you might want to close your mouth...flies.", the man chuckled holding y/n's hand out to Castiel.  
Castiel took it in a daze and Gabriel stammered, "Um...uh...who gives this woman to be married?"  
Castiel heard Dean take a breath to respond but the man still standing beside y/n answered, "I do."  
He looked at Castiel, his smile not hidden by his beard, as he continued, "And I give her you, Castiel."  
Castiel knew he probably looked like an idiot as he nodded, mouth still slightly agape.

  
Then the man proceed to ask Gabriel if he could have the honors. Gabriel swallowed hard and nodded. Y/n still looking confused while Dean whispered loudly, "What's Chuck doing here?"  
Chuck looked at Castiel, "You love her." Cas nodded, afraid if he spoke it would only be a croak.  
Chuck looked at Y/n, "You love him." Y/n whispered yes and then Chuck smiled saying, "You are now married. Castiel, you may kiss your bride."

  
This had to be a dream.....and everything faded to black.

  
\--------

  
He wasn't very surprised to find himself standing in a field of flowers. He had been appearing in stranger places than this. Some times he could figure out where he was, but usually he just wandered around waiting until he disappeared again. He had no control over it, except he could feel a pull that was getting stronger every time he disappeared.  
This time he knew exactly where he was the moment he opened his eyes.

  
A couple hundred yards away was the house. Just as it was all those many years ago when he had tried to find her. Except this time, it wasn't silent and still. He could hear Dean singing loudly and off key in the garage, hidden under the hood of the Impala, his beloved tapes blaring along with him.

  
This Cas soon ignored when he saw movement in the kitchen window, shadows behind the white gauzy curtains. He wasn't aware of walking towards the house until he saw his hand reaching up to take the doorknob. He was startled by his arm. It was clothed in blue rather than his customary tan. Looking down he saw he was wearing a blue button up and khakis. How...odd. Why did he change his clothes in his dream?

  
He hesitated on opening the door and was startled to hear Dean behind him.

  
"What are you waiting for, asshat? She's been waiting all morning for you to get here." Dean was wiping his greasy hands and his smile belied his harsh words. "He said you'd be back. I guess he was right. But, damn, Cas, it took you long enough."

  
Castiel did what he hadn't the courage to do all those years ago, he opened the door and went inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew....what a journey, huh?   
> This has been a fun ride, I have enjoyed the many twists and turns this road has taken. Thank you for all the kind words and comments, they were the main motivation for extending this not so short jaunt. Maybe we'll go on another one again soon ;)  
> Happy reading!


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